And I'll Pray for the Strength of the Lord...

Hosea 1–3; Hosea 11; Hosea 13–14

Like Job, Hosea give us a intimate view of his personal affairs, hs trials.  During his time (760-720 BC), Israel reached her greatest size under King Jeroboam II.  The leaders had become wealthy, haughty and proud. The middle class was disappearing.  The poor were greatly expanding and becoming increasingly oppressed.  It was becoming common for parents to sell their children into slavery in order to pay debts and worship had largely denigrated while Pagan rite and idolatry were common in Israel.   With the exception of selling our children into literal slavery, the conditions are not unlike that of much of our society today.  When regarded as a similitude and related to selling our children into bondage of the adversary, the situation is largely the same. Hosea wrote largely in Similitude, or parallel imagery.  The husband representing the Lord and Gomer representing Israel as the wife. The story is one of tragedy but ultimate hope and promise in the redeeming grace of our Lord, and the love of Father.

Jonah 1–4; Micah 2; Micah 4–7

Last week I reviewed a study released by the CDC on Sexual Orientation and Health Among U.S. Adults (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr077.pdf ).  Within this study there are some very interesting findings about the prevalence, or lack thereof, of people in the United States that who self-identify as being homosexual (LGBT).  My comments about the article were directed at social engineering, the legislative process and the effect of a very vocal small minority, activists who seek to make others receive their aberrant behavior as normal, and it’s cost on society.  These comments were met with understandable varied responses, one of which developed into a conversation, with a valued friend from my high school days.  She, like I, has family that identify as gay.  She, like I, love our families and friends regardless of their sexual persuasion.  We differ in our perspectives, understanding, and manner of acceptance of the behavior that these individuals choose, but with a common foundation in Faith, we both desire for the happiness of those we love and for all of God’s children. Out of respect for my friend, I have spent time in review, pondering, prayer and seeking a witness as to the will of Father, Truth, as is given of His Spirit (James 1).  It is not my intent to offend, to cast unrighteous judgment, or to disassociate with any friends or family whom do not share my understanding; neither is it my desire to extend my tolerance, or acceptance of chosen behavior that is not in harmony with the gospel as right, truth, or the will of Father. I seek to understand Truth as revealed in scripture, and as taught as doctrine of my faith.  I also strive to love all of my brothers and sisters. We are all imperfect sons and daughters of God, each with our own paths, trials, and experiences that will eventually lead us, hopefully, to a common eternal understanding and appreciation of our value as children of our Father.  With this perspective I have felt to record my understanding of the sacredness of human sexuality, it’s role in our progression here on this earth, in this second estate.  Father, out of love for us, and in response to our desire to become like Him created man.  Male and female He created them, in His own image, and gave them unto one another, that they might find joy, that they might learn to become one, in purpose, in desire, and even in one flesh.  He endowed them each with godly characteristics, one being that of procreation. He charged them that they should cleave unto one another, that they should multiply and replenish the earth.  He set forth the natural order of the creation of life, of family, of the role and equal but different responsibility of man and woman, and caused that together they should have the possibility of being whole, one.  He commanded them but also gave them agency, the ability to choose, he knew they, being children, would make mistakes, and provided a way, that they might overcome their mistakes in their learning process via the redeeming sacrifice, even atonement of our Savior.  (Genesis 1-3, Moses 1-4, Abraham 3-5, Temple account; https://www.lds.org/ensign/1986/01/four-accounts-of-the-creation?lang=eng )    We believe that our purpose on this earth is divine; that each of us, being literal children of Godly Parents, has both divine potential and purpose.  We believe the family, as created by Father in our first earthy parents and their unification, is ordained of Father (https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/36035_000_24_family.pdf). The family serves not only as the means for temporal creation of bodies to house our spirits while on this earth, it is the template for learning, created under eternal law, patterned after our eternal family, and is the best structure for us as His children to learn, to grow and exercise agency, to overcome human frailty, challenges, predispositions set forth for our individual growth needs and path, to cast off the tendencies of the natural man in favor of choosing light, truth, and in willing obedience to seek become one with the will of our Father, by whom our very existence here is purposed as His work and glory (https://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/moses/1.39?lang=eng). The very purpose of the structure of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as was His church in primitive times, having the family as the central unit, is to bless individuals and families by assisting them to make and keep sacred covenants with Father.  (https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/36717_eng.pdf?lang=eng , p2, organizational principle 2).    While we have agency, the ability to choose either to follow Father’s way and will or to choose another course, it does not come without accountability.  As members of His church, we have covenanted via the sacred ordinance of baptism, administered by His authority as revealed and restored upon the earth, by those holding the keys to bind on earth and in heaven; we have covenanted to take upon us His name, to act in His stead, to be a witness and doer of His will and work.  We have covenanted to seek His Spirit, to keep His commandments, to strive to always remember Him, to become, to the best of our ability, like Him.  This is the first of the several lifesaving ordinances of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  We are bound to Him having accepted His name.  We seek to understand, to love, and to live as He exampled for us through His Son, our brother and Savior Jesus Christ, who came to earth to do His will, that we might overcome sin, having experienced adversity and all that is necessary to our own personal growth, proving to ourselves by overcoming trials, natural dispositions, casting of the baseness of the natural man in favor of the pursuit of Godly, even our Father’s ways. We believe in the sacredness of the relationship for the eternal purpose of joy and creation, of the unification of man and woman. As followers of Christ, among other sacred covenants, we make eternally binding covenants regarding this sacred relationship and the use of procreative powers.  We believe that the authorized use of these powers, given of Father, is that they are to be used only within the bounds of marriage as designed and authorized between a man and a woman by Him.  We are not at liberty to pursue self-gratification, pleasure, or physical expression via behavior that mimics the use of these powers, in any other way.     Our belief and reservation to worship as we choose does not mean that we do not allow others to choose to act as they deem appropriate.  It is a basic tenant of our faith that we respect the agency of others (https://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/a-of-f/1.11?lang=eng ).  We are commanded to love one another and we strive to do that. We are also commanded to set ourselves apart from behavior that is not of Father.  While we love, we do not ourselves participate and or accept as correct that which is disparate from the revealed will of Father.   We accept that individuals may be disposed to have attraction to members of the same sex.  We understand the connection of attraction and desire.  We understand earthly passions and are commanded to bridle them, restricting our actions to those behaviors that are in keeping with the commandments and revealed word of God.  We place the will of Father, His wisdom and law ahead of our own understanding in terms of importance, and seek to become in harmony with that which he has revealed for our benefit.  (https://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/a-of-f/1.13?lang=eng )  As children of Father, brothers and sisters all, we strive to care for one another, to help each to obtain their own witness of the Spirit as to the will of Father for them.  We seek to act in love and understanding to aid, to strengthen, to find joy in the common understanding of Truth, as we are guided by His Spirit and learn through our willing obedience to become like Him. (http://mormonsandgays.org/ )   We all have personal struggles, dispositions, preferences, and agency. Some things are hard, some things are difficult to express, but is any sacrifice too great, any challenge too hard, to choose to find the joy, the redeeming qualities that are given freely to those who are willing to follow, to accept, to become as He is?  It is why we are here, we all have divine heritage and potential.   Here are two perspective videos, each a different type of struggle, each with great blessing.  We are all, eventually, on the same track, we each have good Parents cheering for us.  I love you, and I know these things to be true.  You can too (James 1).

1 Kings 12–14; 2 Chronicles 17; 2 Chronicles 20

Ths week as I sought to understand the principles that act upon me from this week's lesson I was guided to ponder the manner in which we act, decide, judge, use judgement and at times are seen as judgemental.   Interestingly, as often happens, a question was posed that made me solidify my understanding on this topic.  As such I am includig the question and my response as thoughts on this week's lesson....

1 Kings 3; 1 Kings 5–11

  This week, my preparation, study and pondering while centered around the building of The House of the Lord and Solomon, was met with several interesting doctrinal discussions with friends about principals like Forgiveness and Salvation, Covenants, Humility, Service, the great and abominable church, and a willingness to wait upon the Lord in Obedience. The lines of discussion were wide and varied but indeed, as they always do, they come back to a central theme of eternal progression.  Much of what we do in the church, in temples, even in the building of temples, and especially as we make, renew and exercise covenants, is symbolic in nature.    Certainly every element, the process, the quality, the purpose of the building of the great temple of Solomon was wrought in symbolism, held meaning that was meant to convey his devotion, his desire, his willingness to serve the Lord.  While we are not all of such great stature in the eyes of the world as Solomon, we are as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, members of the body of Christ, a covenant making and keeping people.  Such was the purpose of the Temple of Solomon, such s the purpose of our temples today, to allow for the purification and alignment of the followers of Christ to progress in their preparation to return to Father.  Our lives are largely conducted in the same way, what we choose to do, is symbolic of what our desires are, whether we  choose the way of the natural man, or that of the light of Christ.  We as members have chosen and by covenant  promised to do the latter. Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles shared how we gain power through keeping our covenants: “Sometimes we are tempted to let our lives be governed more by convenience than by covenant. It is not always convenient to live gospel standards and stand up for truth and testify of the Restoration. … But there is no spiritual power in living by convenience. The power comes as we keep our covenants” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 113; or Ensign, May 1999, 86).

 2 Samuel 11–12; Psalm 51

This week was met with some bitter-sweet news and varying reactions from interested members of the church as a sacred process (church discipline) that is generally conducted confidentially for the benefit of the member involved was made public by a high profile activist for women’s equality faced discipline for her continued and repeated public attempts to organize, influence, and teach others information, portrayed as doctrine, that is out of harmony with the established doctrine and established processes of the gospel as held in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  The result of the disciplinary counsel was the severest that is able to be pronounced upon a member by the church, excommunication.  For one who is non-repentant of their sin, this action can be felt as “a nail in the coffin” as it were.  For those who are, as Christ taught us to be, humble, of broken heart, willing to put off the things and ideas of the world, excommunication is intended as a protection, a suspension of the accountability of sacred covenants previously made for which one has departed from to the extent that their accountability could have eternal consequences if a change of path and heart does not occur.  The truly repentant, while certainly the receiver of Father's rebuke, also come to realize the extent of Father’s infinite love and willingness to forgive upon our willingness to repent and keep to His commandments and honor the sacred covenants made between us.  Excommunicated members are able to return to full fellowship and have a complete restoration of blessings through the repentance process as they are willing to turn unto Father and forsake worldly ways.   For those who have participated in disciplinary councils within the church as lay clergy, the burden of the process that requires the confirming witness of the Spirit of Father as to the necessary action is both an experience of Godly parentage, of love, and correction.  It teaches us both the significance of willing obedience to God’s laws, and his infinite love, patience, guidance and willingness to forgive as we are willing to become what we are able.

1 Samuel 18–20; 1 Samuel 23–24

 1 Samuel 9–11; 1 Samuel 13; 1 Samuel 15–17 This week as I was beginning to study material for this lesson, a friend and convert to the church posted question on facebook that I thought was really important.  So important that I wrote the longest series of posts I have ever written to anyone in an attempt to help. The purpose of this weeks lesson is: " to encourage us to trust in the Lord rather than our own understanding"  and in the end, that is what all my writing to Sarah was about.  Funny how the Lord allows for our experiences to help us prepare sometimes isn't it! Anyway while this is not my normal thoughts on the lesson material which is the stories of Saul and David, they are the thoughts I have had working through this same idea with Sarah, a beautiful daughter of or Father, my sister, whom I really do love! I have included her post and then my response, edited a bit for grammar and understanding,  but they are all here together, they are long, I warn you, but then again, in my experience, most love letters are :) Sarah's Post:

Hello All, I've come to ask a question that has been plaguing me for some time. How am I supposed to find happiness and acceptance within the church.. if I don't agree with half the doctrine? For example..  My Pops is very much gay and I was thinking if he was to get married that I'd attend the wedding without a second thought, I'd speak at his wedding without a shadow of a doubt.. he'd have my blessing and I'd very much love to give him away regardless of what the 'righteous' thing would be to do.. because he's my dad. I'd do this for any family member/friend. and I don't care whether I'm not supposed to support people in actually being gay (that is acting upon it, please don't confuse the two). because I think it makes me less of a human being to deny them that happiness that they get from acting on being gay.. regardless whether the church see's that as temporal happiness/pleasure.

because if it makes my dad happy it makes me happy..

this may seem absolutely stupid, but the only reason I haven't actively pursued my dad to come and investigate the church is the fact that he is a gay man and wants to act on being gay.. because it makes him happy, and to me that's all that matters.. because in the gospel he'd never be 100% happy (as he wants to be) yes Christ can give us all the joy in the world.. but I've not been 100% since joining the church.. like my cup has never ever ever been 100% full. That's because I feel I cannot be myself.. and I fear that for my pops..

*disclaimer* not trying to cause an argument.

oh and p.s. I'd very much so be a witness as his wedding, and be a referee (people that act as an advocate for someone, usually before someone hires you kind of thing) if he wanted to adopt a child with said man. ---- My replies:

I awoke early this morning, thinking of you. After not being able to go back to sleep I decided to turn on the computer. I now understand why. I know this must be difficult for you. Anything that is out of harmony with the Spirit, when one is striving to become one with Father is difficult to reconcile, especially when it involves those closest to us.  Your question is actually multi-faceted but I will do my best, as both a friend, and as a follower of Christ to answer. Of course, what matters most is not what I think, but what you confirm of the Spirit as correct. Your question was how do you find happiness in the Church, when you don't agree with half the doctrine? Please read my entire answer because it may at first seem negative, because I have at one point in my life reached a low where I felt that maybe that would be a generous estimate, 1/2 I mean. I actually felt that there was only a couple of things that I actually knew was true, and that was because I had received a personal witness of it. The simple answer is, if you are relying on the church, it's members, what you perceive it to be as an earthly organization for happiness, and disagree with half of what you "understand", then you cannot find happiness, because happiness is not found in discord. The Church, on earth is like a vehicle, it is not the destination, but rather the mechanism that allows us to reach a destination. Whether that vehicle is a broken down clunker that will carry us, but with little comfort, many pit stops, even long periods in the shop, or whether it is a luxury coach, with all the appointments and accoutrements of the finest materials available, working flawlessly almost effortlessly carrying us to our destination really depends on us. Let me try to explain. The basic unit handbook (the guidelines that are used to set up and operate the church in areas where there are few members, maybe just a single family, with a single priesthood holder)  explains that the most basic function of the church is to "help individuals and families to make and keep sacred covenants with the Lord." The basic unit of the Church, is you, your family both temporally and spiritually. Eternal Life, returning to live in the presence of Father, being found spotless and sharing in all that he has prepared for us, is the destination. The church contains all that is necessary for us to reach this goal, but it is not in and of itself the goal. In order to find true happiness, we must as the scriptures say, seek Truth, which comes of Father via his Spirit. This is done not just be adhering to what we perceive as "doctrine" based on what we have read, heard, or even been taught by others, but what we have "received" of the Holy Spirit. The "doctrine" of the church, as so many refer to, is often not doctrine at all, and even when it is, is not always well understood by the giver, or by the person receiving. Official doctrine of the church is only what is found in the scriptures (and only what is translated correctly of that) and that which is taught in the temple under the authority of the Priesthood. Both scripture and the temple doctrine (which more fully represent complete scripture) can only be understood as Father would have it, by a witness of the Spirit. This is why when you were baptized, then hands were laid upon your head, you were commanded to "receive the Holy Ghost." It is only by our willingness to pursue a personal dialog with Father, confirming what we are studying, learning, deciding, as true and correct, that we can build the sure foundation that is the path toward our destination.  --- I am going to have to take several breaks from writing to you today, so this will come in segments, but as I love each of you here, and feel that your question is probably the most important one that has been asked in my recent memory, I want to do the best I can to answer. It will take some time and space but if you will bear with me, I really want to share with you what I know to be true on this topic, and in the end, while you will need to ponder, pray and confirm of Father the truth, you will see that you can find not only happiness but complete harmony in your life in the church, even though you may now feel at odds with "half of the doctrine". Sarah, each of you here, I love you. Father loves you. Above all else remember that. I will be back, I have got to do scripture study and family prayer with my family the go to help a friend here for a while but then I will return to this. Please stay with me on this.

  Okay, I am back for a while.  Let's see, where was I, ah yes, we can only find true happiness when our foundation is built on a foundation of Truth, confirmed of Father's Spirit.  I am confident that you have a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel and of the church, at least some aspect of it. This is where I get to tell you my story, and then I will bring it back to your question and your example. Stay with me on this.  I mentioned that at one point in my life, I had strayed somewhat, my priority was certainly not becoming like our Father and Brother. Actually, I was so deep in corporate life that really even my family was somewhat ancillary although I kept telling myself I was doing it for them. I was often a world away, both figuratively and literally, I had great financial success, was an executive of a fortune 500 company, managed real estate assets in 26 countries with a portfolio of over a billion dollars and yet I found I was unhappy, actually that I was near losing all that I thought I had once thought I knew, loved and lived for. I was not a bad person, but I was pretty far adrift, nothing at home seemed to be working, church, well it was there when I had time to get there, prayer, well let's just say it was done when needed to fulfill responsibility. Doctrine, well sure I had read it all, graduated seminary, attended institute, served a mission, been married in the temple, served in many capacities, become a LDS history, documents, & memorabilia collector, I probably had more knowledge than most but there I was, questioning whether I even believed it or weather it and everything else was really important. I was a pretty important person; I could have or get most anything I wanted, as long as I keep serving the company. Oh sure there were compromises, traveling most of the time, including weekends, attending functions where much drinking, and other behavior that was quite at odds with what I was supposedly about occurred or was made available. I was not a partaker of much of what I could have but I stood as one who condoned and even made it possible for others. I reached a point where things of the world, excitement, worldly possibility, had clouded my view almost completely, I was pretty much about whatever I thought could make me happy now. And then, it didn't. I found myself kind of trapped, I was spending at certainly a level that I couldn't maintain unless I kept doing what I had attained in my professional career, I was truly a slave of my own making. I was more and more pretty much about me, and what I wanted, and less and less concerned about anything else. That is a recipe for disaster, especially when you have the means to pursue that course. Anyway, I eventually found myself in a dark trapped situation where I couldn't see why everything seemed to be falling apart, it was all someone else’s fault, in my eyes all I could see was that I was the provider who worked incessantly to give everyone else nice stuff and they didn't appreciate it. Eventually, I hit bottom, not really in a breakdown sort of way, but in a life perspective, and pursuit. To go any further, in the pursuit of self-gratification, it would no longer be about stuff, I could have any of that, it would be about sacred covenants, fidelity, word of wisdom, drugs, you know the baser things in life that went on about me, those things that were available but that I had up until that point held off on as a matter of principle because of my covenants, but did they really mean anything? Were they what was holding me back from being happy now? It sure felt that way.  I was close enough to it that I was called into the Stake Presidents office a couple of times at the behest of my wife who didn't know where else to turn to for help. At the time it was not well received, I had not done anything technically bad enough to receive formal discipline, but I was pretty good at justifying my actions as well. Or at least that is how I viewed myself. In hindsight it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. Given the state I was in, and even not wanting their help or counsel, it was enough to begin to make me question what was going on in my life. I had reached a crossroad, it wasn't working, I had the means to break all off and still be extremely comfortable temporally and given my state, I was seriously considering it. The question was, really, why not.  So given the uncomfortable experiences with the Stake President who really did care about me and wanted to help our family, I guess I began to do some introspection, some self-examination, funny enough my college education was duel major,s Business Admin and Psychology, graduate work in clinical Psych. ( I was the valedictorian of both my colleges so you might think I would have had a more stable head on my shoulders but....) so examining what I had become was quite an involve exercise. Eventually (over the course of several months while trying to maintain life and keep up appearances at home and elsewhere) It came down to two factors, what did I know as Truth, confirmed of Father's Spirit and what did I want. I was a mess. I had spent 15 years pursuing a path that was filled with excitement, prosperity, nice things etc, in the name of providing for my family, but at what cost. I had all but voided much of what was taught to me as Truth as a youth.  So, what did I know as Truth, and what did I want, and how does it relate to you and finding happiness in the church? Well there is more to my story because the realization that I was so far adrift did not fix anything, it was actually probably the most difficult time in my life.  I will continue after a break to take care of a couple of things. Stay with me. I really do <3 U.

-------

   Hi Sarah, I hope you are feeling better today.

So here is the point of my last post on this thread, I am going to try to bring it back to your question. I was pretty much lost except for a few things that I could point to that I knew were True. I knew that some 20+ plus years earlier, when I had had a very strong desire to know whether the Book of Mormon was true, that I had received an undeniable witness, actually a wholly revelatory experience after pouring my heart out to Father. I knew that priesthood power was real, that I had been able to be the mouthpiece of the Lord in pronouncing some rather unusual, for my thinking, blessings that were given directly of Fathers Spirit, sealed by his authority and received via faith. I knew that as a rather accident prone person, that I had been rather miraculously preserved from death on several occasions, at least two of which there is no earthy explanation for, I mean they physically defied possibility. Many times people joke how I had a guardian angel, but there were instances where after repeated examination, one could only concluded that there had been divine intervention. There were other things that I recorded as I went through this deliberate process of documenting things that I knew without a doubt were "Truth", and mercies of my loving Father.  What I also found though, was that although I had instances of Truth, I also had a lot of beliefs, things that I had held as truth, but could not actually with integrity say that I knew were true, I had for at time had faith that they were true, I had even in testimony professed that they were true, I was quite sure that at that time and especially during my mission I had believed they were true, but here I was years later, trying to find happiness, living for now, justifying my wants, and struggling with what I was going to do going forward. I guess I felt like I either had to just give up on the gospel altogether, which in my heart I knew was wrong, or I had to make not only some significant changes in the focus of my life, but I had to figure out, relearn how to communicate with Father, to feel His Spirit, to receive His guidance and to trust that in doing so that He would provide the way that I could be happy. The net of all of this examination was that I realized that I could not be "happy" in the Church, with the gospel, knowing some truth, having believed in much more but not knowing of the truthfulness of much of what I claimed to believe as a member of the church. There had to be a change in my life and I became determined that if I was going to expend the effort to change (which seemed near out of my realm of possibility) I could not do it alone. I began to focus on what it was like, these instances when I had received personal confirmation, revelation, guidance that was unmistakably from Father, what had my disposition been; basically I was focusing on relearning how to once again communicate with Him. It wasn't easy. I failed at first, continually. I was somewhat bitter, I still refused to take responsibility for my situation, I wanted answers as to how He could have let me go so astray LOL. I was broken, but not yet repentant, did not have a broken heart or contrite Spirit, but I was determined. I know that there were some things that were consistent in my life when I had previously received Fathers Spirit. I wanted that back. I began to read the scriptures again, I began to pray, not just out of obligation but with real desire, I began to really examine those things that I believed were doctrine and found that while there was a great deal of it in  the scriptures, there was also a great deal that I could find no basis for. As a result, I began to make list of doctrinal principals and supportive references in the scriptures, but what I found was that often the scriptural doctrine did not read the way I understood it. This was both intriguing to me, and disconcerting because, as I said, I had a great deal of knowledge, or so I thought. The more this went on, it actually started to become, I guess, a new hobby. As I was still traveling almost continually, I would use my time on planes, in hotels, whenever I was not doing the business of the company, to create threads of scriptural references to doctrinal points. Some of them became quite thought provoking and as I pondered them and how different some of them appeared to be from my understanding, I began to realize that I was starting to feel happier in what appeared to be discord, in hindsight, I was happier because I was engaged in learning the gospel, not relying on what I thought I knew, but was learning for myself what the doctrine that I had accepted as truth when I was baptized actually was. I was not yet communicating with Father, at least not as I desired, He was communicating with me, but I was not yet recognizing it. I continued my hobby for some time until I had such a list of interesting doctrinal points that were supported by scripture, that I wanted to know that they were true. I believed that the scriptures were true but finding that my understanding was at times so different firm what I was finding they said, I didn't know whether to be sad or happy about it any longer. I had turned a corner and was seeking but had not yet learned to receive Truth of Father again. So my attention began to focus on that. Regardless of all this other information, doctrine as it were, it was not going to do me any good, unless I knew that I was understanding it correctly. I obviously had not before, and if I were going to stay this path, I needed more. I was confused, engaged but confused. As a side note, during this period of exploration with doctrine, while it was not immediately evident to me, looking back I can see that things were changing in my life, home was getting better, my drive for things to make me happy was decreasing, changes that would have lasting implications were occurring without my knowledge, in short Father was already working for me, preparing the way, He had always been doing that but now I was, even unknowingly once again moving toward the path that He desired for me and life was changing for the better, I was just not yet prepared to recognize it. Anyway, in my confusion, I decided to set aside all this doctrine, these points that were again on my thought horizon, and try to figure out how to communicate with Father, how to receive truth, how to know what was right in my understanding. I knew that Truth was of Father, but had lost how to receive it. So I started reading about those in the scriptures who spoke with Father. The D&C is pretty much filled with just that, mostly of Joseph's communication. But there are great examples in all of the scriptures, I knew it required my willingness to go before Him, I knew that It required desire, I had that again, I knew that I had to do my part, to study things out, to ponder them, I was doing that. But I was not feeling what I wanted to, I wanted something, something concrete another personal manifestation, I wanted each and every thing I thought I knew to be confirmed. Well about a year or a little more into this, I was, I felt starting over again. I was reading the first vision, Joseph's history and as I was doing this I was literally told to stop. I don't know, maybe I was so dense in wanting it to be done my way that Father decided  I wasn't going to get it any other way, or maybe He had spent so much time trying to communicate with me, making things better, putting the path under me, that He wearied of my side efforts, I don't know, but whatever the case, it was plain as day. I was told to stop. I was at the point where Joseph had been reading, trying to make sense of all that was in religion about him. He was reading in James 1. I knew the scripture, I had read it a million times, or so it seemed, but I couldn't go any further. I put down his history and opened the bible and began to read James. I started with verse five. Sure there it was I knew this, it was just as I had read so many times, I was confused, but then again I was told to stop. I did, I put the bible down and almost said okay, I'm done. I've stopped, I guess maybe I'm not supposed to be studying any of this stuff. I was both confused and frustrated. But then, gently, I was told to start again, to read the scripture not from Joseph's perspective, but from Father to his child, to me. Not as doctrine, but as a letter of a father who cared about me. So I started from the beginning. verse 1. I had read it many times, verse 2, I am trying Father, what do you want me to see? Verse 3, Stop! Okay, verse 2. 2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations.  What? Count it all joy when you fall into divers temptations? What, well I had certainly succumbed to temptations, what I was not feeling was joy about it. I thought I was supposed to feel bad, to avoid temptation, to.... Continue, verse 3: 3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. Wait can we go back to 2 please? I haven't got that yet. Okay read it with verse 3 Find joy in temptation, knowing that the trying of my faith worketh patience. Well for 15 years, I had increasingly fallen into temptation, seeking joy, and it had certainly tied my patience LOL. No, stop it. Read it again. Count it for joy, when I give you trials that try your patience, for you need to work on patience, your sight is very short, you need to withstand trials, be patient and find joy in knowing that I am working by your side, always, weather you realize it or not. If you will just work on your patience, your willingness to wait on me, to stand apart from the world and all that is going on, you will be able to hear Me. I am here, I always have been. I love you, I want to help you grow, to find Joy. I want you to become all that you can be, I have so much prepared for you. I have been working for an eternity on your behalf, I want you to find happiness, won't you just let patience help you see. Stand apart.  Okay, I am crying as I am typing this, as this is all flooding back on me again, literally I am a mess right now, in a good way. I need to take a break, get myself together and start my day with my family here, prayer, scripture study, do some more preparation for my lesson for this Sunday, etc. I will be back, we are starting to get there. Stay with me on this, we are almost to some really interesting stuff about Truth, doctrine finding happiness even when we don't fully understand. I <3 U.

--

Hi Sarah, and my brothers and sisters, I’m back sorry, yesterday got away from me. So as I was reviewing these posts I was a little taken back how long it is, I don’t think I have ever fully written this out for anyone. But Sarah is not just anyone, and neither are the rest of you. Anyway it is too far along to stop now, so bear with me. I thought about titling these posts “Love letters to Sarah” LOL, probably not totally appropriate but that is the reason I am writing this in hope that it can in some way Sarah and all, in your path. I do <3 each of you. So there I was, verse three of James 1, just 2 verses I had read so many times, but never really understood the way Father wanted me to. It was both amazing and actually an odd, comforting, yet awkward feeling, as I again for the first time in a long time was “receiving” guidance of Father. Not that He hadn’t tried many times, but I was not willing. Now all that had changed. I was so broken, so literally void of really caring about anything but trying to reestablish what I once had, that I was now ready for anything. I was really at the point that I had wished that He would put me out of my misery, but He knew me better than I knew myself, and was there waiting patiently for me to choose to seek Him. Verse 4 : Let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect, and entire, wanting nothing. Oh, wait, what? Had I ever read that before? I am sure I have, but what? This is too much to even comprehend. I literally had to stop there for several days. I still today, when I read that verse have to give pause because it makes me almost breakdown with love and appreciation for my Heavenly Parents. There are not many scriptures that refer to principles of the gospel in feminine voice outside of the poetic literature and songs in Psalms and the like. But something that I have learned is that when scripture is given in this voice, it is very special. Almost to sacred to share, like that of Heavenly Mother, we know she is there, it is the eternal nature of family but out of respect and caring for Her sacred role, Father does not allow for her name, her likeness to be used in our temporal baseness. I have pondered this scripture so much, I have asked if that is what Mother is like, I don’t know, but the fact that patience having her perfect work can make me perfect, and entire, wanting nothing  makes me wants to find Mother, and hug her, thank her so much for her patience with me, probably with Father too. For now I have transferred that to my earthly mother and my eternal companion who have been ever patient and loving toward me throughout all I have put her/them through.  Isn't that and sweet admonition though, “let patience have her perfect work". We are meant to learn line upon line, building a store of Truth, confirmed of Father’s Spirit which is “Wisdom” to be used to help others as the Spirit guides. None of us, while on this earth, will likely ever understand all Truth, doctrine, or even understand fully the principles that we are exposed to, but as we are patient in abiding and exercising that which we become prepared to receive of Father, we can become perfect, and entire, nothing wanting. What an amazing verse and promise. Even more so is what is unfolding in these verses leading up to the verse we all think we know so well. "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect" (Matt. 5:48). That is the end goal. It is in patiently seeking Truth, by study, pondering, considering if our thought is consistent with that which we know as Truth, applying it in our own lives, proving it, even that which we only have faith in to experience if it bears good fruit, making a determination of what we believe to be right, having steadfast patience, that we prepare to approach Father in asking as He has directed us. Verse 5:  If any of you lack wisdom…. We know this verse, by heart, but how often do we really apply it as Father intends us to do?  It says that Father gives to all, liberally, without chiding, rebuke, railing, ask and it shall be given.  While most of us can recite this verse verbatim, we tend to be at odds with it, out of context, wanting to isolate this command from the structure, the process by which it is attached.  We wonder why we pray and receive not answers, why Father does not give to us liberally, why, often if we feel anything, we feel chided, rebuke, etc.  I know, for many  years prior to this experience, that is how I often felt, prayer became out of duty, appearances, because I didn’t receive or feel when I prayed.  I wanted Father to give to me liberally, on my terms when I wanted, I took no thought as to whether I had prepared myself properly, whether if Father actually gave me Truth I would value it such that I was worthy of it and could be held accountable for it.  Truth, wisdom to be used for eternal purposes, as given by Father is most precious, it is progression for us and for those who the Spirit guides us to bless, but it is also sacred, it has accountability attached to it, we may not apply it as we choose without accountability.  Using it inappropriately to influence, coerce, or in any manner other than given of the Spirit, can have serious repercussions, for us and for others.  I had experienced that over the course of many years, my “knowledge was great, but my use of Truth was on my terms not Father’s and I was in quite a situation.  It is no wonder that when we pursue the path of self-centeredness, that we distance ourselves from Father’s Spirit, He protects us from greater condemnation, and hopefully reduces our ability to mis-influence others using truth to misguide.  That is not His way, when we choose that path, spewing what we purport to know as doctrine, inappropriately, we are on our own, we distance ourselves from Him, His Spirit, His power.  D&C 121 explains that concept so clearly, it is my regular anchor, where I always turn to understand if I am acting appropriately.  Verse 6:  But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. That pretty much sums it up.  We must ask in faith, that which is the first principal of the gospel.  The most basic principal that we must master is Faith, nothing wavering. The preparation to approach Father, in patience, is the act of faith by which we may approach Father such that he will give unto us confirmation of Truth as we have prepared ourselves to both receive it, and to exercise it as wisdom, to bless others as guided by the Sprit. It is the process by which patience has her perfect work.  It is the key to opening the door of heaven such that Father giveth to all men liberally, without the need to upbraideth.  It is how we are made low, made to bring a broken heart and contrite spirit, something that I finally had, again after many years of self-centered pursuit, feigning to be a saint, a follower of Christ, yet doing it on my terms, not understanding that Father was there, patiently waiting, wanting, having told me and all of us forever, certainly emphasizing it as the point of communication that it was the impetus for the opening of the doors of heaven for the restoration of the gospel, for the restoring of Truth, yet I thought I could do it on my own terms.  

Verse 7 & 8:    For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.

A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

  If we do not prepare properly, we are not justified in the precious gift and obligation of Truth.  We should not expect for Father to, as it were, cast His pearls before swine. We should not expect to receive anything of the Lord.  I had been a double minded man, unstable in all my ways.  I had sought Truth without preparing myself to receive it.  I would not have valued it if I had received confirmation of it.  I just wanted to know.  I wanted to choose from Truth, what to agree with or not, I wanted it my way, to reach perfection as I perceived it, to have happiness as I thought it should be, when I really didn’t even understand what happiness is.  I was a fool.  I was lost in the gospel.  Riding an unstable boat in the shallow end of the pool thinking I was ruler of the sea who could choose the course.  Yes a double minded man. But here was Father, whether out of exasperation with me or pure love, teaching me still and I was finally once again able to begin to learn.  It was not an easy process, it was not like okay the doors are open again, I know how to do it now, let’s talk again tomorrow.  No it was a long process, I am over a decade later still working on it. But I have my anchor. And I have found patience and joy there in.  I have found the ability to trust in the wisdom of Father, in His timing to confirm for me Truth, when I have adequately prepared myself to use it as the wisdom I have sought, as I am willing to be guided by his Spirit in my own progression and for the blessing of others, not for influencing them as I think they should be.  I am still not a wholly single minded man with perfect faith, but I understand what that is, and I have learned that doctrine of the gospel while available to all, can and will only be received as wisdom as we are prepared.  It is both for our protection and that of our brothers and sisters. This was the beginning of a new direction for me. Literally it was a life changing experience.  It set a new course, one that I have valued utmost in my life.  It has saved me from ever experiencing despair. It has taught me how to reconcile doctrine, how to find happiness, it has enabled me to progress in a manner that I never thought possible.  I began from that point, to trust, to focus on the few things that I knew to be true, to study doctrine a principle at a time. To really try to understand it the best I could by gathering all possible resources from the prophets, studying, applying what I felt was correct, experiencing and then going before Father, knowing that in His time, as He knew I was ready, that I could handle it, He would confirm truth.  It has been a continually amazing experience, a life full of happiness that I can’t adequately express.  Sure I have pitfalls still, I stumble, I’m human, not yet ready for exaltation, but although I do not understand all doctrine and I certainly have that which I have reservation about, I have learned that I am accountable for that which I know to be True. That I must strive in faith for that which I believe to be true, that when I am ready, I will as I seek, receive the desired confirmation, because Father loves and knows best, what I need to progress and what I cannot yet handle.  His love is amazing; I hope someday to be able to love as He does. There is more to this chapter (James 1), my experience with Father in this principal continues to grow but I want to now turn back to your question and example.  About time wouldn’t you say? I have got to start my day with my family, but when I return I want to focus on your question and example.  I <3 you. --

Back again, So, by now you may already know where I am going with all of this.  I read your post about how sometimes you wish you could go and visit President Monson and ask him questions on exactly what you wish to know.  It does at times seem to be an appealing solution, but alas it is also potentially fraught with problems still. How are you sure he would be answering you by the Spirit? Are his answers doctrine?  Sure it is a great source, but people question what prophets say all the time.  One of our prophets was really good about that, he spent an inordinate amount of time directly answering gospel questions, it was Joseph Fielding Smith. We are studying his teaching in Priesthood and Relief Society this year.  The answers to questions were eventually published in 5 volumes appropriately titled Answers to Gospel questions.  They are great! But, still, here are a couple of comments from prophets and church leaders that would still give one pause:  J. Reuben Clark wrote that there is only one way that Church members can be sure that leaders are speaking for the Lord:  "I have given some thought to this question, and the answer thereto so far as I can determine, is: We can tell when the speakers are ‘moved upon by the Holy Ghost’ only when we, ourselves, are ‘moved upon by the Holy Ghost.’ In a way, this completely shifts the responsibility from them to us to determine when they so speak."

Brigham Young said, "I am more afraid that this people have so much confidence in their leaders that they will not inquire for themselves of God whether they are led by him. I am fearful that they settle down in a state of blind self security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purpose of God in their salvation. . . Let every man and woman know, by the whispering of the Spirit of God to themselves, whether their leaders are walking in the path the Lord dictates, or not."

Lorenzo Snow said:  "there may be some things that the First Presidency do; that the Apostles do, that cannot for the moment be explained; yet the spirit, the motives that inspire the action can be understood, because each member of the Church has a right to have that measure of the Spirit of God that they can judge as to those who are acting in their interests or otherwise" Harold B. Lee stated:  And if he says something that contradicts what is found in the standard works (I think that is why we call them "standard"—it is the standard measure of all that men teach), you may know by that same token that it is false; regardless of the position of the man who says it.

And finally even Joseph Fielding Smith, author of Answers to Gospel Questions said: You cannot accept the books written by the authorities of the Church as standards of doctrine, only in so far as they accord with the revealed word in the standard works. Every man who writes is responsible, not the Church, for what he writes. If Joseph Fielding Smith writes something which is out of harmony with the revelations, then every member of the Church is duty bound to reject it. If he writes that which is in perfect harmony with the revealed word of the Lord, then it should be accepted.

So to your question:   How am I supposed to find happiness and acceptance within the church, if I don't agree with half the doctrine? The answer to this question is also the answer to several other important questions like the one Makenzie asked “ how do I get motivated to go (to church)?” The answer is the same as the question, why is it important that I go to church?  The answer is found in the basic purpose of the church, which is: “to help individuals and families to make and keep sacred covenants with the Lord”, covenants that are administered by His authority, only in His kingdom which on earth is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While there are many other benefits of attending church, of being a member of the body of Christ, fellowshipping with others who are trying to pursue a common goal etc.  Relying upon anyone, or anything, other than the main source of Truth for meaning, for purpose, for a source of happiness, for reason to find acceptance, well it is fraught with error, for we are all human, we are all learning, we have different levels of progression, different disposition, and different levels of confirmed Truth from which to draw on.  The reason we go to church is to renew sacred covenants,  to learn from primary gospel resources additional information that we can then study, ponder, apply in all patience, prove and confirm before Father that we are prepared to willing know and accept Truth as He is willing to provide it.  We go to church to practice applying principles of the gospel, to serve, to do that which Father and our Brother would have us do.  I can unequivocally say that after almost 50 years of pursuit, the first 25 and the last 10 being more fully oriented to becoming what Father wants me to be, I know as Truth, less than half of the doctrine of the gospel. I accept in Faith much more than that, I try to practice to the best of my ability what I do know, and what I believe, and I seek to improve upon that Truth daily in all that I do, but I do not “know” a lot of the gospel.  I have covenanted to accept the scriptures, in so far as they are translated correctly as the word of Father, but I cannot say that I know all of them as Truth.   

  What I can do, and have done, which is the greatest source of happiness there is, is to follow the steps taught to me by Father as outlined in James 1 and elsewhere in the scriptures to confirm doctrine as Truth, to apply what He has seen fit to share with me, as I have followed His instructions, patiently, studiously, proving my willingness by living it, acting in faith nothing wavering, and knowing that as I am prepared, He will confirm the Truth of all things and that patience can have her perfect work, that I may become perfect, nothing wanting.  It is amazing isn’t it?

Let me use your example.  You said, “My Pops is very much gay and I was thinking if he was to get married that I'd attend the wedding without a second thought, I'd speak at his wedding without a shadow of a doubt. he'd have my blessing and I'd very much love to give him away regardless of what the 'righteous' thing would be to do.. because he's my dad. I'd do this for any family member/friend. and I don't care whether I'm not supposed to support people in actually being gay (that is acting upon it, please don't confuse the two). Because I think it makes me less of a human being to deny them that happiness that they get from acting on being gay regardless whether the church see's that as temporal happiness/pleasure.

As I read your example, here is what I see:

I love and want to honor and respect my Father.  That is one of the great commandments is it not.  My father does things that are not constant with what I understand to be the position of the church, maybe even things that are inconstant with the gospel, don’t we all?  But I love him and want for him to be happy.  I believe that people are, by virtue of agency, are justified in their pursuit of happiness even if it is not consistent with my understanding (see Article of Faith 11), I believe that is consistent with church doctrine. Christ taught us to love everyone, regardless of their belief, circumstance or behavior.  Whether or not I choose to support in love, someone who does not share my understanding of the gospel does not matter for it is not my place to judge what I myself do not fully understand, I can only judge my own actions in righteousness, for I can only know fully my own heart (Matt 7:1-2 see footnote a referencing the JST).  (Also for probably the best talk ever on judging see: https://www.lds.org/ensign/1999/08/judge-not-and-judging?lang=eng I love Elder Oaks!)

When I read your example, I see nothing inconsistent with the gospel or the doctrine of the church as I understand it.  I do see an attempt to link your father's understanding and actions, hence your support of him to your own personal progression and salvation, but such is not the case.  You have made covenants, your behavior insofar as you understand Truth is important. In your example to keep the commandment to honor your parent, and to love others as you love yourself you are in harmony with the doctrine of the gospel.  There is nothing in your example that in any way is dispirit from the gospel or doctrine.

You don’t have to participate in another’s behavior to love them.  You don’t even have to agree that it is okay in the eyes of Father, He didn’t ask us to place that qualifier on our love for others or upon His love for all of us. 

He has asked, that as we learn Truth, as it is confirmed to us by the Spirit, that we apply it in our own lives, that we may become perfect., While we do this we are asked, as a part of that progression, to love, serve, and by example, share the gospel, and, as we are moved upon by the Spirit, share with others our knowledge of Truth, that we may be tools as servants of our Lord in building His kingdom. 

Turn to Father for acceptance and happiness, as your relationship and desire grows, H will share Truth with you that is necessary for your progression. There is inexplicable joy, happiness to be had in knowing that you are receiving wisdom, Truth given of Father for your understanding that will further your progression, and at times YOU will be called upon by His spirit to be used in His behalf to bless the lives of others, such as standing in love and support of your father in what is his chosen path at this time. 

I am not sure what the doctrine would be that one would point to say that we should not love someone, because of his or her actions, understanding or chosen path.  That doesn't ring true to any doctrine I am aware of. 

Sarah, your progression, your path, your covenants are not with someone at church or the church itself, they are between you, our Brother and Savior, and Father, no one else.  A bishop, as a judge in Israel has Keys of discernment that can be used in behalf of members within his jurisdiction and for the benefit of non-members as well, but they are only an earthly extension of Father’s will and can only be used in harmony with his Spirit, as guidance from Him (see D&C 121 note especially the last few verses).  You have the power and authority to receive Truth of Father, by his Spirit, indeed you are commanded to do so.  The scriptures teach us not to trust in the arm of Flesh (man) for truth, but to receive it from Father.  That is what you were commanded to do upon being given the gift of the Holy Ghost, to “receive” it. 

Me, while I hope I am a better example today, I have, at times been a very “knowledgeable” member who at times spoke of doctrine without the guidance of the Spirit, at my own peril and at the peril of those whom I have at times shared a faulty understanding of doctrine or doctrine that they may not have been prepared to receive.  It was not that I was ill intentioned, but I acted upon my own understanding, not on the guidance of the Spirit, and when such is the case, the result is likely less than desired. 

There is only one source, one truth, one doctrine of Eternal Life, and one whom we are commanded to receive it from.  When we do this, and patiently prepare to receive wisdom, of Father, acting in accordance with His will, we will find happiness, acceptance, and know that Truth, doctrine confirmed of Father need never be second guessed.

I hope this has helped.  I am always happy to try to help, but there is one who always stands ready if we will prepare ourselves to receive what He willingly provides to those who are prepared to "let patience have her perfect work."

I love you!

 1 Samuel 2–3; 1 Samuel 8

Ruth, 1 Samuel 1

  Like the book of Judges, the Book of Ruth is attributed as a historical writing by Samuel.  The story related occurred much earlier than the writing of it and as such, like the book of Judges, the reader may look at it as a purposeful writing meant by the author to convey a message of import to the reader.  Why was this story of Ruth and that of Hannah important enough to be preserved for our benefit?  Of all that Samuel could have chosen to record, this is what he related.  What are we to learn? As I studied and pondered these stories this week I was impressed to consider the importance of foundational beliefs in guiding the actions in our lives.  Naomi, Ruth, Hannah are all examples of righteous women who, placed their trust in willing obedience to the Lord. Regardless of circumstance, their loyalty and effort to do well in His sight stands as a witness and his blessing upon them exemplifies the covenant of the lord with his children.   This week I have more fully understood that Father loves His children, that He blesses them who are willingly obedient, that He wants to bless each of us as we are willing to choose the path that his desires for us, that which will accomplish the purpose for which we came to earth, our path to becoming perfect, becoming like Father.  He wants for us to find truth, happiness, and eternal joy, that which is of and comes from Him.

Judges 2; Judges 4; Judges 6–7; Judges 13–16

  We are always, it seems, or generation or less away from potential apostasy.   The book of judges, a historical recording of the period that Israel was ruled by 12 sequential judges following Joshua, is attributed as written by Samuel but no official designation as such is given in the text.  The book is written in such a way as to make a point about the cyclical nature of man’s faith, prosperity, faltering faith, bondage and repentance.  Each account begins with “and the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord.”   

After the amazing leadership of Joshua, and following his admonishment to always remember to serve the one and only true God, it did not take many years for the Israelites to be influenced by those whom they had been counseled not to intermingle, they began to take wives of the Canaanites, to worship their gods Baal and Ashtoreth, to begin to practice the carnal rituals associated with that idol worship.

Joshua 1-6; 23-34

As we move forward from the Ministry of Moses to that of Joshua, a couple of interesting notes of latter-day revelation.  The KJV of the bible says that Moses went up from the plains of Moab  unto the mountain of Nebo and died and was buried according to the word of the Lord (Deut. 34: 1-6)  This was a speculative interpretation as there was no record as to what happened after Moses departed.  Latter-day revelation clarifies for us that Moses was, like Elias (Elijah) take up or translated rather than having experienced mortal death (BoM Alma 45:18-19).  In our understanding this was necessary as they had a mission to perform that could not be done in the spirit, their mission was to confer the keys of the Priesthood to Peter James and John.  Christ was the first fruits of the resurrection, thus prior to his arrival it was necessary that these holders of Priesthood keys be preserved that the work preparatory to the mission of the Son of God might be fulfilled. (Doctrines of Salvation, 2:107, 110-111)

Deuteronomy 6,8,11&32

  The name of the book of Deuteronomy itself means “repetition of law” and here in we find three discourses of Moses recounting and instructing the Israelites that they might remember their covenants, obey Father’s commandments, be ever mindful of the Rock of their salvation which is our brother, Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

As I have been pondering this lesson I have been touched by the words of Moses, now 120 years old, his admonitions, delivered like a loving father to his children, advice from one soon to be departed.  As I read and reread these words I felt both the strength of the spirit of Father and the impression of experience long worn by a servant of the Lord, his desire that the lives effort not parish but continue and bring his family back home.

Numbers 22-24, 31:1-16

We all have aspirations, wants, desires for the niceties of this world. But what are we willing to do to get them… work hard, take from our neighbors, rationalize a departure from integrity, go against truth given of Father? The lesson of Balaam and Balak is a tragedy of epic proportions given to us for our edification and guidance, but often we get caught up in the mechanics of the story,  the talking donkey, the angel, the process of sacrifice, and fail to recognize ourselves in the lesson.  Who are we, Balaam, Balak, the wandering children of Israel, the steadfast donkey? Hear we see two men, one known to be a prophet of Father, a priesthood holder able to bless and curse as given to him of the Spirit.  The other man a king, well set in his temporal affiance, with his own objectives and desires.  We also see the vast camp of Israel who have now wandered for much of the required 40 years, hundreds of thousands being led, fed and prepared to receive their inheritance of Father. For king Balak, the proportion of this problem requires more than all he has militarily even with his alliances, so he calls upon a known man of God Balaam, to remove this impending mess of people who are sure to overrun him. 

It is interesting to note the place and circumstance of this story.  The setting is Midian, the same area where Moses went after fleeing Egypt, where he met a man of God and received the priesthood.  Now some 40 years later this location becomes again a part of the lesson for Father’s children.  We sometimes forget that the priesthood of God persisted outside of the body of the Israelites, preserved from deterioration during their captivity, but not a, but not always immune from the effect of being entrusted to man in his imperfect temporal state. Anyway Balak calls upon the Prophet Balaam and uses interesting language he says that it is known that whoever is blessed by Balaam is blessed, and whoever is cursed by Balaam is cursed…  This is the same language used in Genesis 12 when Abraham is called and the covenant is made with him and his posterity.  It is a reference to the covenant of the higher priesthood having the authority to bind and loose all things in heaven and on earth.  Balaam was obviously a holder of this priesthood, a man of God.  He seems very solid in his steadfast knowledge of truth and understanding that his authority is only to do the will of Father.  But he is still a man, tempted by riches and worldly wants.

Balaam initially professes and ascribes that he can only do the will of father, but upon the continued beckoning of king Balak, he allows himself to be enticed, to appease man by going to Balak even though he has been told not to.   How often have we been given direction of the Spirit to do, or not do something that was at odds with our own carnal desires and we have rationalized our actions as not really going against Father’s will but only to…. to allow for our own temporal satisfaction?   In this instance Balaam is not only told no when he enquires about going to Balak, he is then again warned via an angel, still he persist, trying to satisfy both God and Balak,  he offers sacrifice several times at Balak’s request, each time with the same result but with the intent to appease the king, Finally in a desperate attempt to aid the king, knowing he cannot use priesthood authority to go against the will of father, he tells Balak of a way to deceive and make the Israelites fall out of favor with God.     The result, problems indeed for everyone, yes Balaam get’s his riches but shortly thereafter is killed as the Israelites are sent to battle to cleanse the land. 

So what is the lesson for us in this story, might it be now to weary Father for our wants when he has already answered our pleadings? Or might is be that Fathers power is granted only upon his conditions, we learn in D&C 121 about the proper use of priesthood authority, and why Balaam was unable to curse the people of Isreal but do we always seek to use the authority of Father wisely? Or might it be  lesson in rewards and what is truly important, as Elder McConkie said  (https://www.lds.org/new-era/1972/04/the-story-of-a-prophets-madness?lang=eng ) ,  this is the story of a righteous man who traded his eternal destiny for earthly riches, he calls it the story of a prophet’s madness, but is it so different than our own stories?  We each have had promptings of the spirit, some of us have made sacred covenants and some even are entrusted with the sacred authority of Father as was Balaam.  Where do we stand in our sojourn toward receiving all that our Father has promised.  Are we steadfast in our obedience, our willingness to be led and guided by Father’s Spirit or are we seeking for momentary acclaim, treasures and notoriety of men? 

April 18 2014

Numbers 11–14; Numbers 21:1–9

Sometimes we find ourselves in a quandary over exercising Faith, questioning the will of Father, and using Wisdom (Truth as witnessed by Father’s Spirit) for its proper purpose.  In this week’s lesson we have a tragedy of a nation who was to be a “Peculiar Treasure” of Father but were the epitome of these struggles.     

As I have been studying this week, I have been impressed upon by the Spirit in two avenues, one is the interaction of Father with his chosen servants the Prophets, the second is this idea of our progression, the process and purpose.   A friend had a realization that tied into my impressions it.   I thought the post was wonderful because it is the same dilemma of the children of Israel, but was approached differently, as Father has directed us, and bore fruit.  Let me share the post then I will explain.

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                OH MY GOSH I JUST HAD THE COOLEST REALIZATION IN INSTITUTE.  Okay so the brother of Jared, he builds the ship thing and follows the Lords instructions and everything perfect. But clearly there were some issues so he goes and asks the Lord, right? The brother of Jared could have seen the problems and said "well, I have faith. The Lord will take care of it. Maybe we don't need air or light or steering! Let's just have faith!"  But instead he goes to the Lord and asks about it. And seriously how scary would that be. "uh he heavenly father I know you created these instructions and you're perfect and everything but there's a problem..." Yeah no that would be horrifying. But he does it and the Lord gives him answers.  You know what this means?! Not even the brother of Jared had blind faith! He was bothered by something so he asked. He didn't just accept it as is.  So basically, remember that having questions is totally fine. And asking them is totally fine. You're in good company.

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I loved this post so much I shared it with my spouse.  I read the comments to this Friend’s post with great interest, some of which were in support, others of which were troubled by the idea of questioning the Lord.  After I retired that evening, I was thinking about this weeks lesson material, this post and the comments. My mind was turned to Brother Joseph.  His quandary while searching for the Truth in a religion was not all that different, in process, than that of the brother of Jared.  He lacked information that was supportive of that which he felt was true from his previous studies and activities.  What is very different from the process of these two, the Brother of Jared, Brother Joseph (we could include Moses’ interaction with the Lord with these two), and the Children of Israel is the approach to dealing with their dilemma, their interaction with the Lord.

There is sweet eternal consistency in direction (ie: Truth) given of Father.  I love the Scripture (D&C 130:20-21) that says:    There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated — And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.  This lesson and the examples of The Brother of Jared, Brother Joseph, Moses, and the Children of Israel are a case study in this doctrine.  The concept is this:   By Faith we live our lives with the hope and desire to reach the goal of fulfilling our purpose on earth, to be redeemed by the atoning sacrifice of our Brother and Savior Jesus Christ, and to become heirs with him, becoming like Father and receiving all that He has prepared for us.  We are commanded to become perfect, and know that it is Father’s work and glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.  In short our goal is to become like Father and Jesus.

In Order to reach this goal, we must exercise faith, but more than that, we must move beyond Faith and build our stores of Wisdom.  Wisdom, in the eternal sense, is Truth received of Father by the confirming witness of His Spirit, given for the aid, progression and perfecting of His children.   Our goal in this life is not to live by unquestioning Faith (although this is an amazing attribute), it is to be perfected, gaining Truth and Wisdom, in willing obedience (is that an oxymoron?, no it is a command).   To do this, we must question! At times we must take our questions before Father that we may receive Truth/Wisdom!

We are instructed not to rely upon the wisdom of men, but to “receive” Truth.  Truth is given of Father’s Spirit.  This command to “receive” that which is of the Spirit is given to us as a part of the first lifesaving ordinance of the gospel when we are confirmed.  To “receive”, in the eternal sense, is more than just to hear or even to have, it is to incorporate as a part of our total being, having a change of heart as it were, becoming one who lives according to Wisdom (Truth, received of Father’s Spirit for our progression and the blessing of all his children).  In order to become perfected, not only must we question, we are instructed on how to appropriately question when that question requires Father’s answer!   In James 1 specifically versus 4-8 we are taught this unchanging Truth, this law by which, when we are obedient, we receive the blessings of it.  Here in we are taught that we must be patient in our trials, that we must study it out for ourselves as best we are able, that we are to come before Father in all Faith, nothing wavering, and when we do this, that He will grant us Truth, the confirming witness of His Spirit.  We can move beyond Faith, we can have perfect Truth! This is what The Brother of Jared did, what Joseph did, what Moses did, but oft, like the children of Israel, our faith is weak, our patience in tribulation is short, our disposition set on mischief. Rather than being unwavering in our desire, our faith and approach to Father, we question after the manner of men, wanting our will, now, rather than to “receive Truth”.  The process of keeping this law, as exemplified by the Brother of Jared, Joseph and Moses is the process of perfection.  It is the appropriate order of communication with Father.  It is not difficult, is given as a command, and the blessings of obedience to it are evident at in each of their examples.