misconfigured

jeff buckley is my life

yearning but incapable

there’s something fundamentally wrong with the way I experience love. an aversion— an inability to engage in the most basic human exchanges of warmth without feeling like I’m performing a foreign ritual. I recognize the deficit, I recognize the damage, but recognition doesn’t translate to correction. It just leaves me hyper aware of my own dysfunction, trapped in the knowledge that I should be different but lacking the instinct to be so.