💤

Every single time I come on here I’m reminded of a really different time in my life when I was, in some ways, at my lowest. But I still really look back on those times with fondness. I met so many amazing and kind people on here and I’m not sure if they’ll ever know how much that helped me in my depressive episodes as a teenager. I’ve had this blog since 2012 and so much has changed since I was last posting regularly. One of the main causes of my depression and anxiety was ADHD which was undiagnosed for most of my life. (Didn’t get diagnosed til I was 19) It’s still a massive struggle for me but I like to think I’ve came a long way and I’m nowhere near as bad? As I was back then. The ADHD and Body dysmorphia I used to suffer from back then was untreated and because of this I felt very much alone for a lot of my teenage years. I literally felt like no one understood me, except for maybe my Dad and some people on here. It makes my heart ache that I never stayed in touch with people who played such an instrumental role at that time in my life, idek why we didn’t, if I was a bad friend or maybe they just moved on from that part of their life, or it was just too hard to maintain a friendship over the internet. But I really appreciate anyone I ever talked to or interacted with on here. I live in Bristol now and go to uni there, and have made so many amazing friends there that I feel like understand me a lot better than anyone at school ever did and as a result it’s kind of filled that void I once had as a teenager. I log on to tumblr from time to time and I always wanted to say something but I’m never really sure how to. I know it’s likely most people or all lol won’t see this, but just in case anyone happens to search my blog I want them to.