Slappin' Binches

judas used tongue

God the prices of tvs have changed so much let me get my graph

The world is a much better place when someone’s mouth is on your genitals.

just offered my vibrator a cigarette

will i ever feel fergalicious again

this was a genuine question btw. if you even care.

bereal as a concept is straight out of a dystopian horror story

This post can not be fucking real 

its art and it deserves to be treated as such 

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple “Thank You” will suffice. None of this “How did you get in my house” business. So rude

tis the season to be extra nice to retail employees

Reblog for the last one

it’s a game show where everyone eats the furniture in a room and tries to see which is made of chocolate

So basically you’re telling me this is the best fucking game ever created