what if it all worked out in my favour
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@larry-darling
what if it all worked out in my favour

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worry not my lord, allow me to unscrew that jar for you. i would not want for you to strain your hand or break a nail. alright. hmm. HMMMM. HNNNGRGHHHHHH. HNNGGHHHH HRRRRRGHHH. AAAAAARGHHHHHHH fucking. squire fetch me my grippy gloves
i think it's beautiful that cats eat you if you die in your apartment and nobody finds you for a while. i don't know why it's used as anti-kitty cat propaganda as if eating you means they don't love u. if i died and no one found me for a while i would want my kitty cat to eat me bc i love her so much and i don't want her to starve. it's not her fault i'm too dead to give her her fancy feasts. she's going thru something scary ok. i don't know a single cat owner who doesn't feel the same way
Oh nooo I hadn’t noticed that my cat’s automatic feeder was getting low on food so as usual she dashed off when she heard the machine start but I couldn’t hear the usual sound of her food falling into the bowl so I went to look and my poor cat was just. Sitting there. Staring at her empty food bowl. Then for a second she glanced up at me then right back to her bowl with the biggest, saddest, most bewildered eyes you could ever imagine on such a small creature. I filled her bowl and the machine right away ofc but I still feel a little guilty 😭
Quick artist’s rendition
HOW did this get this many notes in less than 24 hours?????
Also, in case anyone was worried, rest assured mim the local void is missing no meals
basic human empathy has got to make a comeback divas

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goddamn gender inflation, can’t have shit these days
worry not my lord, allow me to unscrew that jar for you. i would not want for you to strain your hand or break a nail. alright. hmm. HMMMM. HNNNGRGHHHHHH. HNNGGHHHH HRRRRRGHHH. AAAAAARGHHHHHHH fucking. squire fetch me my grippy gloves
mind you
choosing to believe this was his way of rebelling and the directors were just too fucking stupid to even notice lmaoooo
Art by Janelle Diamse.

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it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living
I don’t know who needs to hear this but now is THE time to incorporate walking back into your routine. I know it’s like trendy to do hot girl walks, but during this time of year it’s one of the easiest ways to reset your mood or breathe through your anxiety or just take a moment to exist. I’m all for walking with a playlist on, but walking in silence and just appreciating the fall breeze and the mellow sun and everything about fall will absolutely help you feel a little better and costs $0. And we are at record temperatures right now so we truly need to appreciate all the time we get with cool beautiful weather. Take a walk!!!! It will help u I promise
and one more thing!! so we’ve basically confirmed scott has clocked shane and ilya. and as a person struggling with being a closeted queer hockey player you’d think hey maybe he would try to talk to them and bond since they’re all going through similar things. NOPE. he brought a gun to the ice and said get out and take that weird bisexual man with you
You just know Ilya was instantly giving Shane shit for finally getting into a hockey fight and for it to be THAT ONE.
Fights are for during the game, Hollander. We do not attack senior citizens on their way home.
Art by Janelle Diamse.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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is the world really such a terrible place? yesterday i asked if oat milk was extra and the barista said yes so i said ok just regular milk then and when she gave me my chai latte she whispered “i used oat milk ;)” doesnt that make u want to live another day?
here is my life philosophy: next week there might be someone ahead of you in line at the store who’s short a quarter and you have a quarter and you can give it to them. if you weren’t there, they’d have to put something back. the week after that you could be getting lunch and the waiter might ask if you want some pancakes someone else ordered and never picked up. you could find someone’s lost cat. you could watch someone’s bag while they go to the restroom. there are so many ways you are going to touch other people’s lives and they are going to touch yours and there’s no way to know when it’s going to happen. so you have to keep living!!! i wouldn’t want to die knowing that tomorrow the barista will give me free oat milk just to be nice.
When I was 11 years old - we went to Sea World for my birthday. This was to avoid the realization I had no friends, and no one to come to a birthday party and probably because someone gave my mother free tickets at work. It was kinda a shitty day despite being at a theme park full of cute animals. There was a new roller coaster there that had just opened so we decided to go on. I was nervous. I’d never been on a roller coaster.
A group of 6 college kids were ahead of us in line and started chatting with me. Full on just having a fun conversation with someone literally going through the beginning of a very awkward middle school period. I was so shocked they wanted to talk to me. I think my mom mentioned it was my birthday. They were very nice about it. When we got on the ride they told us to go ahead of them so we could sit at the front of the car since it held 8 people.
Now the ride (called Journey to Atlantis - I believe it is sadly no longer there) started with a slow ride of beautiful visuals of dolphins and oceans and computerized images of this imaginary Atlantis before going up the hill to the beginning of the coaster, where it paused for about 30 seconds, and then the ride started. The college kids must have known there would be a pause. Maybe they’d ridden it before I’m not sure.
But as we sat there on that peak, 6 people I’ve never known, and will never know again, sang a very very lonely 11 year old happy birthday. Loudly. And with gusto. They were happy and laughing and joyful. And it made me feel less alone in the world.
I am 29 years old this year, and I still remember them. I still remember that kindness. It is so important. It doesn’t go into a vacuum. It exists beside me in my daily life. And I love the idea that I have been that person to someone else too.
It’s stunningly lovely to be human when we’re kind to each other.
food does not have moral value....... food does not have moral value.......is there anybody out there... hello.can anybody hear me.... you need carbohydrates to live.... can somebody help me.... hello.......