❦

I have ADHD, and one of the symptoms is called time blindness where you over or under estimate how much time has passed. And it has happened to me on multiple occasions so I too would feel very much excluded if I wasn't given the same treatment as those who end up being on time and get the "VIP treatment".

im going to start a false crime podcast where i explain crimes that never actually happened

i’m going to do the crimes you explain, forcing you into having a true crime podcast

Kamala Harris becomes acting president every time Joe Biden goes to bed and she stays up

no offence but let yourself be ugly!! you don’t have to fix your hair if you’re not going anywhere you don’t have to cover up ur spots or change out of your lounge pants to go buy milk like damn we really gotta let ourselves be comfortable without constantly apologising for just looking normal and it’s hard but i think we need to practice looking in the mirror and saying i look ugly af today and that’s okay!! tru self care is letting urself be ugly tbh

Just woke up and yeah this isn't a morning app. I can't even read what you people are saying

Yeah gjrje get sjwjt prodejg dependytgg

See what I'm talking about

The weirdest thing I’ve learned while working for pest control is that snails love rat poison and will actively eat it but hate seseme seeds

I should add that rat poison has NO effect on snails, and they just get super fat cause they gourge themselves in boxes of rat poison

absolute units

think it’s about time we stop making jokes about the amount of famous white boys named Chris, and about time we started focusing on Tom. Am I talking about Cruise? Hiddleston? Hardy? Holland? Hanks? Felton? Fletcher? Selleck? Welling? Ford? Hooper? Brady? It’s impossible to tell because apparently half the male population are called Tom.

*Approaches a gay couple* So which one of you is Chris and which one of you is Tom.

*lion chilling on the plains* oh whoa that guy over there just ate a bird, maybe i should eat an antelope or somethin

Only 3000 years ago???

are they trying to say carnivorous diets exist because of peer pressure

Cain killed his brother and made the first smoked brisket.

Love how Tumblr moved the BLM and SAH tags to their own "stuff we care about" subsection of the trending topics and how it looks like something you'd see out of pinterest and also there's an LGBT icon thingy and the thumbnail is gay porn