Lanceuse de foulards

What measures are taken to secure the building ?

Are the walls thin? Brief info of who lives in the building. Are they college kids? People that work through the day? Elderly? Is it a mix? Where does the garbage go?

when and for what reasons are your landlords allowed to enter your home? how much of a notice should they give you before entering?

can the landlord make modifications to your home or apartment without your approval? to what extent?

what are the options and conditions for breaking your lease early if there’s an emergency? (this is ESPECIALLY important for anyone moving to a new state/considerable distance where you are not able to visit the apartment/home before you rent – students get taken advantage of ALL THE TIME with this shit)

if your first or last month at the property is a partial stay (i.e. you move in on july 15th, and rent is typically due on the first) make sure you don’t pay the full first month’s rent before you know the area laws! in many states, you are only legally required to pay for the time you are occupying the property

is renter’s insurance necessary? many apartments want at least 30k coverage, which can run a couple hundred dollars extra per year

-ask if there’s been any consistent/frequent trouble with electricity/internet connectivity/cable if you have it

-what KIND of electricity? 

-what kind of heating (hot water/electric)

-how secure is the neighborhood (if you don’t know) 

- Do they have a policy on rent increases? (Also check if there’s a legal limit to rent increases in the area).

- Are utilities paid in a separate check or with the rent?

- Are utilities metered or pro-rated (in older buildings it’s common to be charged by square footage and/or number of occupants, which can leave you subsidizing the people who turn the a/c down to 60 in the summer or the heat up to 80 in the winter - you may not be able to avoid this but it’s worth trying).

- Are there any switched circuits in the apartment. Buildings built in the late sixties through the early eighties often have switched circuits. If they do, then with the number of devices used these days you will probably have to have something important on the switched circuit - tape the switch in the on position! (Trust me).

- What are the rules on hanging pictures?

- Who is responsible for paying for and replacing bulbs in permanent fixtures? If it’s you and there’s a fixture with weird/unusual bulbs (globe style, chandelier style, etc) ask where you can buy the bulbs.

Yagazie Emezi

Here’s a quick handy reference list or anyone who isn’t sure:

Homosexuality does exist in almost all social species.

“Alpha males” are not a real phenomenon and in fact the most aggressive males tend to be the least reproductively successful.

“Survival of the fittest” simply means that the success of a species hinges on how well it “fits” its environment. It does not mean that stronger or smarter individuals are supposed to succeed. Those things can even be a detriment in nature by wasting too many resources.

“Race” is not a biological concept. Someone who looks different from you has the same human genes, just a different grab-bag of dominant traits.

Evolution is not a march towards higher complexity, more intelligence or even more adaptability. It’s just a fluctuation of characteristics dictated by environmental pressures and mutation. A slime mold isn’t “less evolved” than a hawk, just adapted for success under different parameters.

People didn’t evolve from apes. We share a common ancestor with apes.

No human on Earth is “closer” to an evolutionary ancestor than any other. We all descended from the same one.

Neanderthals were also a “sibling” species of ours. We didn’t evolve from them.

New Post has been published on http://holaafrica.org/2017/02/10/on-hot-safe-lesbian-sex/

On hot, safe lesbian sex

By Lady Mango

Well sisters, there are a lot of upsides to having sex with a woman. Of course the fact that you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant, that you can explore your love, lust, passions and get high between her thighs…but just like sex with men, the hottest sex is safe sex!

You may have a low chance of catching HIV from being with another woman- but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t think about protecting each other from other STIs including genital herpes and Chlamydia, as well as thrush which can be transmitted between women.

There is very little information for women who have sex with women out there when it comes to health and safe sex, at least produced by African health programmes and ‘sexperts’. Going to the health clinic for advice can also be a time wasting affair given that you are unlikely to want to disclose that you are loving women- and if you say you are not sexually active they will wonder why you are there (yup, been there!). So here are a few tips and some links for further information…

Tip No 1. Be prepared and make it sexy. In any sexual relationship you need to be able to trust your sexual partner enough, even on a one-night stand, to ask your partner to respect each other’s health and to agree to use the necessary precautions. Sex is great, but no need for it to end in STI infections. So get yourself checked out regularly at the health clinic for STIs, and only say ‘yes’ to sex with someone who is committed to your well-being enough to practice safe sex!

Tip No. 2 Make sure that you keep your sex toys clean. Wash them with soap and water after you use them. If you are using toys with more than one partner then put a new condom on every time you use them. In terms of storage, keep them in a clean cloth and somewhere not too dusty….and make sure you rinse them before you use them. In tropical African climates they can get as dirty as everything else in your bedroom- so do yourself and your woman a favour! And on that note, keep yourself clean too….(basic water and soap sisters, please no Dettol or douching….!)

Tip No.3.Make sure you have safe oral sex. Yup, oral sex also has its downsides (mmm…not just all wetness and moans!). A lot of STIs can be transmitted from mouth to vagina and vice versa, so if she is a new love or a casual acquaintance, play it safe! I have never seen a dental dam on sale in any African country- including South Africa. But you don’t need one. You can use a square of good old kitchen cling film. Put some water-based lube on one side so she doesn’t get cling film burn, lay the lubricated side over her vagina or her anus if you are rimming…(well some people love it!) and let your tongue do the rest! If you or your partner have obvious wounds or cuts in your mouth, then think about other ways of making love, like fingering, rubbing and using sex toys, until the cuts are healed.

Tip No. 4. Play it safe when you are kissing each other’s lips…no, not those lips, I mean the other lips! This one is a bit trickier, but you can try using the ‘do it yourself’ cling film dental dam.

Tip No.5. Wear latex gloves when you go inside. Use latex gloves with water-based lubricant on them if you are fingering or fisting your woman, especially with a casual partner.

Tip No.6. Live positively. There are quite a number of lesbians and women who have sex with women who are HIV+. If you also have sex with men then make sure you take the precautions and get tested regularly for HIV. And if you or your partner are HIV+ then be open with each other, eat well, take care of each other, take your meds if you are on them- and practice safe sex! HIV+ women are susceptible to other STIs which can affect your health, particularly if your immune system is already suppressed. Play it safe, and enjoy!

So let it flow sisters, and remember- safe sex is hot sex.

Download our safe sex and pleasure manual here! Check it out below.

More information at: South African site women2womyn

British National Health Service site

We also have advice on giving head, masturbation and making life kinkier. Check it out.

For a little more erotica check out Things Women do, Reuniting with my Lover pt I or even An Aggressive Apology.

trump, conway and spicer suggesting the intelligence community is partisan and biased against trump, and countering w/ “alternative facts” 

trump administration banning the NPS twitter account from any further tweets and forcing them to issue an apology for retweeting verifiable information about the low attendance at trump’s inauguration

trump asking the state dept. to directly name staff members whose job it is to address climate change and gender equality

trump signing an executive order that strips down the ACA in preparation for its eventual repeal (with no specific replacement in the works) 

a house resolution proposing america “terminate its membership in the UN […] removes its headquarters from the US, and […] stops participating in the world health organization”

trump attacking the women’s march in a tweet (before contradicting himself by following up w/ another more professional tweet that was probably made by a staffer) 

trump altering the white house website to include just six issues: energy plan (committed to “eliminating harmful and unnecessary policies such as the climate action plan and the waters of the US rule” and “[taking] advantage of the estimated $50 trillion in untapped shale, oil, and natural gas reserves, especially those on federal lands that the american people own”), foreign policy (pointedly refers to “radical islamic terror groups,” promises to build navy and air force and advocates “peace through strength”), job growth (promises to “lower rates for americans in every tax bracket, simplify the tax code, and reduce the U.S. corporate tax rate”), growing the military, a highly rhetorical blue lives matter tab (“president trump will honor our men and women in uniform and will support their mission of protecting the public. the dangerous anti-police atmosphere in america is wrong. the trump administration will end it,” “our job is not to make life more comfortable for the rioter, the looter, or the violent disrupter” and, of course “president trump is committed to building a border wall to stop illegal immigration, to stop the gangs and the violence, and to stop the drugs from pouring into our communities”) and trade (“this strategy starts by withdrawing from the trans-pacific partnership and making certain that any new trade deals are in the interests of american workers. president trump is committed to renegotiating NAFTA”) 

issues named on the official white house website during obama’s presidency (e.g. civil rights, education, healthcare, immigration action, disabilities, ethics, equal pay, reducing gun violence, seniors & social security, technology, women, etc.) have been removed. LGBT turns up nothing in a search. climate change turns up nothing in a search. 

trump reversing obama’s mortgage fee cuts (“one hour after talking about helping working people and ending the cabal in washington that hurts people, he signs a regulation that makes it more expensive for new homeowners to buy mortgages”)

trump signing a waiver bill to appoint james mattis as defense secretary even though he’s disqualified for having retired from the military too recently, and proclaiming a “national day of patriotism” 

kellyanne conway officially declaring trump will not be releasing his tax returns

trump has put a freeze on the EPA and barred employees from discussing it with the press or public

trump accuses millions of voting illegally

the two leading contenders for the supreme court nomination are judge william h. pryor jr. (“an outspoken opponent of abortion and gay rights”) and judge neil m. gorsuch

These seven conversations below are conversations that I am no longer having with Black men, period. If these have to be said and more than once to someone who wants to “debate” my humanity–and as a Black woman, I refuse to debate Black men’s humanity, because it is a real thing to me that they do not have to “apply” for–then I consider them lost causes. I am done. They can continue to throw rocks at the train that is moving forward without them. I will not negotiate my humanity as if we’re choosing between wings or burgers as the better lunch. There is no “both sides” to consider when one side is marginalization, abuse and oppression.

1) Why street harassment is wrong. Not what it is–I’ll explain that; many Black men do think being abusive and an attempt to regain a sense of power from a state of perceived powerlessness is “flirting” though some do intend to abuse from the start. But once I explain why it is not okay and they continue to defend their “right” to harm me or demand that I stop recounting my experiences and instead become a workshop teacher for how they can “get” women, we’re done. 

2) Why calling me “a female” is unacceptable. These men accept that White men calling them “boy” or “thug” is meant to be derogatory. The tone with which they use “female” or “those females” is a replacement for “bitch,” contextually. They’ll use “men” and “females” in the same sentence, implying that they deserve respect but women do not. Now not all people who aren’t men are “women.” But once someone identifies as a “woman” and Black men refuses to address her as such, especially when she easily addresses them as “men” then we’re done. (Oh and let’s not play games like context, gender, structural power and patriarchy are not factors when a man calls a woman a “bitch” versus between women, just like those same Black men do not want Whites calling them “nigger” for sure, or “nigga.” I explained this in detail in a past essay.) 

3) Why every Black woman is NOT cishet or hetero and seeking White men. This makes me feel rage. I see RED. I have to straight up walk away from these conversations when they occur, especially if in person because it’s not going to be pretty. To make presumptions about all Black women’s sexuality, sexual orientation and desire, and to be so abusive about it because they are insecure and intimidated by White men (which admittedly is the result of White supremacy) that they think the most ignorant things such as “watching Scandal means you want White men” is repulsive to me in a way that makes me want to vomit. People have plenty of reasons to like multi-character, multi-plot shows such as Scandal and Black women do not have to defend a goddamn thing to Black men, from our television choices to what we do with our bodies. Black women are the least likely to marry outside of our race. Black men are the second most likely to marry outside of their race and often degrade Black women while making this choice as if misogynoir and desiring non-Black women must go hand in hand. Black women have the right to be with whomever we choose or no one at all. I had enough of this when a Black man tried to reduce all that Alice Walker has created, accomplished and fought for down to her marrying “a White boy” because she had a White husband decades ago, though she’s had several queer relationships since. This is violence to me. This is erasure. Black men who do this are basically stating that Black women are not human and are the “Jezebel” controlling image. I would never call a Black man a “buck” but they gladly degrade me in such a way and I’ve never even had physical intimacy with a White man and I don’t even identify as hetero anymore (but as an ace) because I no longer feel forced to do so. They project their fears on to me and I am not here to “coach” and beg them to view me as human being.

4) Why many Black women do not care about Black men’s interracial relationships. Yes, I know what CNN and Dateline tells them. I also know what Black women say among ourselves–stuff that some Black men seem to ignore as they get their opinions on who we are outside of actual interactions with Black women. Look, I am one of those Black women who is really trying to get to Starbucks, not watch a Black man with a White woman. So when they block my pathway to perform affection and hope that I am mad, I am mad. But only because I want a grande extra whip hot chocolate in a venti with 1 pump of pumpkin spice, like right away, not because their partner is White. If their relationship is based on his misogynoir and her racism, then so be it. I think relationships actually based on love are better ones, but what do I know? And when the thirsty and insecure White woman grabs him when she sees me, as if she’s suggesting that I am an uncontrollable Jezebel who will fuck her man on sight if she doesn’t hold on to him, that’s misogynoir too. I’ve discussed this before. I do not have anger over interracial relationships in general, though I know that many Black men want me to; sorry, I don’t. However, I am bothered when cishet or hetero Black men’s choices mean degrading Black women to justify those choices.

5) Why I view their support as insufficient when juxtaposed to what Black women give. They cannot be serious if they cannot figure this out. And the lie that if Black women tolerated more abuse and were more “submissive” then they would support Black women is untrue since more Black women are doing both of these things than not and still the support remains uneven in a political sense (the outcry for cishet Black male victims/survivors over anyone else Black), in a media sense (how many Black men are going to become millionaires by degrading and stereotyping Black women; i.e. comedy, music, film etc.) and in a social sense (i.e. how many homes, churches and community organizations are going to remain patriarchal while ignoring Black girls, Black women, Black LGBTQIA needs).

6) Why it is not only cishet Black men who are capable of misogyny. As pointed out before, lesbians are considered man haters while gay men are not considered misogynistic no matter what they do. I am kind of tired of this, especially since I deal with gay Black men who are misogynistic to me and claim that they are not and/or not capable of it since they are not cis or cishet. Gay men can be misogynistic. (So can trans men of any sexual orientation.) When I have to wade through their jokes and insults about Black women’s edges, breasts, complexions, sexuality, cis Black women’s vaginas, hair length/texture, fashion, body shape/weight and more, or deal with their idolization of thin White women to the point that they’re insulting Black women in the same way that cishet Black men do, yet magically since their interest isn’t sexual, the misogyny is okay? Nah. When I have to deal with them wanting the same mammy to fix it all in the same way that cishet Black men want? Nah. And when I have to hear them use Black trans women’s lives as rhetorical devices solely to shut cis or cishet Black women up, yet they’re ghost when Black trans women need support, you can’t find a thing about Black trans women in their tweets, blogs, conversations etc. otherwise? Nah. And when I am abused once I no longer want to be in their eternal service as a doormat? Nah. And when I am told that not being quiet about their misogyny is “homophobia?” Nah. I remain fascinated by cis gay men who state that cis women do not discuss the cis privilege that we BOTH have yet they refuse to acknowledge the existence of male privilege or misogyny. 

7) How them claiming the “feminist” label is not an absolute destination to where they are no longer subject to critique. Yes, I know reading those two bell hooks books on masculinity usually means that Black men who are “feminists” anoint themselves as authorities on feminism and often stop listening or empathizing with Black women while demanding recognition for the label that they claim. This is a journey, not some final destination that they reach where they no longer have male privilege and no longer use their privilege and power to usurp the things that Black women express, write or live. 

Finally, whether I choose to have these conversations or not with Black men, as a Black woman, is not open to “debate” with Whites nor is this about what non-Black women “experience too.” This may be difficult, but people are going to have to accept that this is not about them right now. This myth that I am required to “universalize” my experiences so that those invested in anti-Blackness can write a “person of colour” or “human” narrative that leans towards Whiteness and erases nuance and difference is a myth that I am not interested in. That is not what solidarity is about. It is about recognizing that both shared and differing experiences exist.

Hotter than a Wakandan climate, find it

The name T'Challa on ha titties when I sign it

Forget Bucky, fuck Cap cuz hes fake

Tony on a diet but my pockets eating cheescake 

and I’ll say Civil War was childs play

a seat

a long hard look at themselves in the mirror

responsibility for their behavior

care of Black women

themselves home instead of Becky’s house

and if not