Lamamu

@kajuned

I probably talked about this enough already, but I will do it one last time…

First: s11 Lucifer =/= s5 Lucifer.

I know it’s very hard to wrap your head around this, but it’s true. s11 Lucifer has been stuck in the cage for an additional 600 years (more or less), without the hope of salvation he had had the first time - instead, he had a furious brother.

What happened in the cage and what caused Lucifer to completely snap was wrong, I never said it wasn’t, but it’s not “I beat the shit out of Sam because I have fun doing it hahaha” or “I hit and kicked Sam because he deserves it and I’m an asshole”.

From the second Sam was in this cage with Lucifer it was clear that something was wrong, that Lucifer had changed. Still, he neither threatened Sam nor did he show any sign of violence against him. Instead, he tried to make Sam understand that they can fight The Darkness together, that Sam needs to be as strong as he was once and that he needs to do the right thing. Yes, Lucifer was desperate - of course he wanted out of the cage, can you blame him? - and when Sam said “No.” he was shocked and confused - NOT ANGRY YET.

Do you know what caused his anger and what made him lost hit shit? When Sam began insulting him. When Sam continued to insult him and treated him like a monster, despite seeing how much his words shattered and hurt Lucifer, that was the moment Lucifer died. Not physically, but something in him died. Sam was the last one he had faith in - he trusted Sam and believed in him, all the damn time.

Can you imagine how it must have felt when the cage cracked open and he was able to reach out, after hundreds of hopeless years? The shimmer of hope, hearing Sam’s prayers, contacting him - it was all Lucifer had. He put the last bit of faith he had into Sam, just like he always did, and Sam crushed it with his thoughtless words. He watched Lucifer break apart in front of him and he kept going. And do you know why? Because he was scared of what would happen if he said yes. Sam wanted to say yes! It’s so obvious from the way he acted - I was certain he would and so was Lucifer - and then he turned 180°.

Lucifer snapped and beat Sam, yes. I admit that, I watched it, I cried when I did. Because Lucifer would never do that, not to Sam. He lashed out because everything was destroyed - his faith in Sam, the last hope for salvation, his trust; every last thing was destroyed. Sam was his last hope, the last thing that had kept him partially sane through his torture in the cage (and yes, he was tortured. This is Lucifer’s cage, his punishment. He was probably tortured more than Sam down there). Lucifer was an animal, trapped in a corner and with no other way out than to fight for his life. I will never say it was right what he did. But I will say something else: his reaction was human and understandable.

When Gabriel turned on him, Lucifer broke. When Michael turned on him (again), Lucifer broke again. And when Sam turned on him, Lucifer shattered completely.

Everything after this is not Lucifer anymore. There is nothing left after this, just madness and someone who lost everything and doesn’t give a damn anymore. What has he left? Nothing. God doesn’t care about him and now he knows Sam doesn’t either. Sam, his other half and the one who should understand him, thinks he’s a monster. Sam thinks he wanted the apocalypse, when all he wanted was to have his brother back - his family. Lucifer wanted to prevent the big fight, he wanted Michael to stop, and he failed. Even worse, Sam believes he would start another apocalypse, even though that’s the last thing on his mind.

Last but not least, because this is very important!

Do people blame Dean for beating up Sam after stealing the Impala and going after the Kitsune he knew? No. Why? Because Dean is his brother, he’s the good one, he probably just snapped. What a coincidence. And what a pathetic hypocrisy, given Lucifer’s reasons were far more valid than Sam stealing a fucking car - and returning it.

Everyone who ever hurt/beat/tortured Sam gets forgiven. Dean, Meg, Gabriel, Gadreel - hell, even Toni right now. But not Lucifer, even though there was only one single time he truly hurt Sam (two times, if you count the soul touching Sam actively asked for). And do you know why? Because Lucifer is the Devil.

That’s every hater’s excuse, that’s everyone’s excuse. Because “the Devil” is not a name made up by humanity, no. Because “the Devil” is not a fucking Archangel who was cast out of his home because he loved his father and his brothers more than a bunch of hairless apes. Because “the Devil” never saved the damn world and took upon the mark when his father asked him to, even though God knew exactly what would happen to him, because he created Lucifer! None of that ever happened, no. (that was sarcasm btw…)

First off, Lucifer’s general behavior toward Sam, from the get-go, is not that of someone with malicious intent. Even when he attempts to make jokes, and to “play it cool,” he can’t. He can’t look Sam in the face, and pretend he doesn’t care that he’s there… that it doesn’t do something to him, after all of these centuries. 

Sam, likewise, shares a very similar look. He never expected to see Lucifer again; but, after all, he was the one one who had been absolutely ADAMANT about it… ignoring Dean’s suggestion to find another way, or his promise to wait for him before the summoning. 

But, still; out of fear, nerves, guilt, uncertainty… whatever it was, it is Sam who begins with immediate disrespectful and hurtful words, making it clear that he (supposedly) didn’t want to see Lucifer. 

But still, Sam never looks “afraid” to be near Lucifer. Nervous? Yes, of course - he’s a hunter - this is a potentially dangerous situation, and Lucifer is powerful - but he never, truly looks afraid of Lucifer… never pulls away from him when he gets near, or even when he touches him. 

OKAY. And now, for the actual play-by-play of the archangel’s breaking point. 

HERE.Here is where Sam, ultimately, shuts Lucifer down. This, remember, is after Lucifer spent an ample amount of time and patience to explain to Sam why they needed to work together. He didn’t just attack Sam from the start, telling him to say yes or the world was doomed… he coaxed him… he spoke to him on the level, treated him as an ally - encouraged him to do what had to be done. He knows Sam, and he knows that Sam will come in, fists swinging, ready to prove he is isn’t going to roll over and say “yes.” Lucifer doesn’t expect him to… he says as much. He makes it clear, this isn’t about the Light Bringer saving the world - this is about them saving the world. About Lucifer and Sam, working together, to do the right thing. TO prove to everyone that THEY are worthy - that THEY are not monsters. 

But what happens? I agree, it shocked the Hell out of me, too, hearing Sam say “no.” He looked so ready - so convinced and committed. And then, he denied Lucifer. And not just that, but he berated him, relentlessly so. 

This is the face of someone who is in shock, not angry. Lucifer is confused and, ultimately, hurt, that Sam would reject him, even with the World on the line. 

And below… if ANYONE looks afraid or nervous here, it sure as Hell isn’t Sam. Lucifer actually flinches back when Sam moves to stand. He is stunned right here. For the first time, we see him for what he is: a caged, abandoned child, looking for answers, and receiving only rejection, time and time again. 

And then, when the hurt REALLY comes into play - when Sam accuses him of being nothing but a liar. Of being less than what he claims… of being“The Deceiver,” as his brethren call him. 

And telling him he isn’t strong enough - he isn’t good enough: 

How hurtful must that have been? Lucifer sacrificed EVERYTHING to save this world once before, and now, no one believes in him. He has proven himself, and still, he is told he isn’t a hero… that he has no worth. He is indignant, and he is in pain.

And the insults? IMO, this isn’t like Sam, at all. He is ATTACKING Lucifer… he is in his face and THIS is when Lucifer remembers to stand up for himself, because he is a caged animal, and there is no flight - only fight. Still, there is that moment, right after Sam insults him, when he can’t find words. He’s trying to defend himself, but he cannot grasp the weapons - because he never wants to hurl such daggers at Sam. 

AND THIS DEAR MARY MOTHER OF PEARL. Look what happens when Sam refers to his faith in his family. Lucifer’s face is just… pain. 

Sam is his family. Sam is his only family. Lucifer has said it before, and, from appearances, he still believes it. He didn’t turn to his Father this time, he didn’t get the demons to try to free him… he turned to Sam. He prayed to Sam, and sought Sam in dreams and visions. 

SAM IS HIS FAMILY. SAM IS HIS ONE HOPE.

And then Sam turns around all of Lucifer’s words.

“We will find a way.” 

Lucifer only ever referred to this as a fight that needed the both of them. He always said “we,” because he KNEW it would take them both. But here is Sam, telling him, “yes, we will find a way… but no, you are not part of that we.”

“You are not a hero.” 

AND THERE IS YOUR GIF SPAM FOR THE DAY. I hope we all learned something about empathy and the vulnerability of a desperate person/angel. This was Lucifer, after centuries of agony, this time WITHOUT a promise to be freed, seeing his savior again, and hearing his savior tell him he isn’t worth saving. 

Someone in the Midam groupchat (I don’t know your tumblr name aaaah—) suggested Midam angst (after I asked bcs I am uncreative AF)

LKSFJSKFJSDF

Oh my it’s perfect. Oh no, my heart. I cry.

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions

Relationship status: Single

Favorite color: Yellow

Top three ships: this changes all the time, but at the moment they are: Hermione Granger x Viktor Krum, from Harry Potter;

Cath Avery x Levi, from Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell;

Aubrey x Ianthe, from The Vampyre by John William Polidori

Last song: Listening to the voice of god

Last movie: Set It Up ‘cause I love this movie ❤

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions

Relationship status: Single

Favorite color: Green

Top three ships:

- Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff from marvel comics

- Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase from Percy Jackson and the Olympians

- Hazel Levesque and Frank Zhang from Heroes of Olympus

Last song: Sleep Talking - Charlotte Lawrence

Last movie: Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions

Relationship status: Single

Favorite color: Red&Black

Top three ships:

BuckyNat (Bucky x Natasha - Marvel)

Stony (Steve x Tony - Marvel)

MonDler (Monica x Chandler - F.R.I.E.N.D.S)

Last song: River - Bishop Briggs

Last movie: Mulan

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions

Relationship Status: Single, trying desperately to mingle

Favorite Color: it’s a split between teal and light peach-pink

Favorite Ships: changes all the time! But generally what always holds out: SuperBat, Spirk & SteveTony

Last Song: “History” by Cosmo’s Midnight

Last Movie: I’ve been watching Ghoul on Netflix but that’s split into three parts like a miniseries, so for semantics’ sake let’s say The Autopsy of Jane Doe

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions

Relationship Status: Married

Favorite Color: Pretty much any shade of blue

Favorite Ships:  I really only have the one: Gray x Natsu 

Last Song: Take Me To Church by Hozier

Last Movie: I watched Glass on Friday!

Tagging: @akikonatsuko  @nightcorefairy  @becausesin @ceruleanshockwave @wizardwithbrushandpen @jinx13gxa @lilyntlrs

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Relationship Status: Long distance relationship with my lovely datemate

Favorite Color: ALL THE COLORS

Top Three Ships: (there’s so many I love though!) Gray/Natsu, Lyon/Loke, Mira/Erza

Last Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zzj7eO7R-w0

Last Movie: It’s been so long since I wantched a movie that I have no idea. the show I watched was Castlevania though. @fineapplethepineapple @ideas-of-immortality @queerqueenoftears @antomec

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Relationship Status: Taken by my lovely boyfriend ❤️

Favorite Color: Red

Top Three Ships: Catra/Adora from She-ra, Violet/Clementine from The Walking Dead Game, Luther/Kara from Detroit: Become Human

Last Song: Disease by Beartooth

Last Movie: I think the last movie I watched was Birdbox?

Rules: Tag 9 people I want to get to know better and answer the questions

Relationship status: Single, cause no man can handle me

Favorite color: cerulean blue

Top 3 ships: I really only have 2, Stucky (Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes), Septiplier (please, nobody hate me for that. I just kinda ship it for fun. I know it’ll never happen), and if I had to choose a third, Erin and Mikasa from Attack on Titan.

Last song: Burn it Down by Linkin Park

Last movie: Captain America Winter Soldier, maybe?

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer these questions.

Relationship status: Single though crushing

Favorite color: Bright green and black

Top 3 ships: Uhhhh…. Janti (no hate plz. I know it will never happen. Just lemme live plz); Ash and her crush ;) and finally… Me and my soulmate :’)

Last song: Through The Fire And Flames by DragonForce (or I think so)

Last movie: Unsure. I don’t remember very well ’^^

Tagging!

relationship status: in 2 relationships- @i-can-explain-really and @moothedumpsterfire-exe are my lovely partners and i love them to death

favorite color: yellow!!!

top 3 ships: snowbaz, stucky, and prinxiety!!

last song: fire and the flood by vance joy

last movie: mid90s

Favorite color: hhh gold and purple and black and blue and the colors of the galaxy

Top three ships: hh sabriel, solangelo, and hhh destiel i guess

Last song: my body is a hell by atlas

Last movie: hhh does john mulaney: kid gorgeous at radio city count?

Relationship Status: Literally as single as a person could possibly be

Favorite Color: Red!!

Top 3 Ships: FierroChase, uhhh Solangelo, and uhhh Sabriel

Last Song: Pretty sure it was Baby Shark actually. I was showing it to my mom

Last Movie: A Dog’s Way Home

Relationship Status: single

Favorite Color: red, blue, black

Top 3 Ships: Queliot (Quentin Coldwater x Eliot Waugh - The Magicians) , uuugh … Let’s just put Queliot for all three, I can’t choose between the other ones

Last Song: ‘Lovely’ - Billie Eilish & Khalid

Last Movie: still venom

Relationship Status: single AF

Favorite Color: purple, green, pink

Top 3 Ships: Midam (Michael x Adam) and I’m really not shipping anyone else very hard right now. Except a pair of OCs. Oh and an archangel and an OC.

Last Song: ‘Twice as Hard’ - The Black Crowes (gotta love those random spotify playlists.)

Last Movie: Uh, at the cinema, I think Venom. At home, Star Trek Beyond. I think.

        burden heavier than her shoulders should bear 

     scars across her skin in a map of all she’s endured

                    her heart should be hardened… 

                         so, why, then, does she still  c a r e  … ? 

If Gabriel had been in The Pit from s05e19-s13e13, how long would he have been tortured?

Well, here’s a very drawn out, overly excessive answer nobody wanted.

If what Dean said is accurate:

4 months on earth = 40 years in hell.

12 months on earth = 120 years in hell

120 years x 8 years (since Gabriel’s “death” on s05e19.) = roughly 960 years in hell.

Add 960 by.. say a few more months since we aren’t really given the exact amount of time between each episode. (Remember, 1 month on earth = 10 years in hell.)

So, Gabriel has been tortured for a roughly millennium. That’s 1,000 years.

If this doesn’t stress how much trauma this petite angel received, I’m going to compare and contrast.

Sam, according to SPN wiki, was tortured for 120 years. We all know how broken he was.

Dean, as I said before, was tortured for 40 years.

Can you imagine how haunted Gabriel is? After a millennium of undeserved torture?

For anyone wanting to live with me in denial, some reasons Gabriel probabaly wasn’t there the entire time:

- Early Crowley would have used him for his personal gain and wouldn’t have had to rely on Dean to defeat Abaddon so he could retain his throne.

- S11 Crowley would have released him to help save the world from Amara.

- I don’t care how messed up things are between Lucifer and Gabriel, there’s no way the devil is letting his little brother stay caged like that or continue to be tortured and he was also on Hell’s throne for… however long the math works out to be in Hell time.

That’s not saying what Gabriel went through wasn’t horrific, but Michael is going to be a mess, Adam’s soul is going to be ripped to shreds and I don’t like it.

Oh look another commission for @midamspn !! I am v happy drawing these two cuties, also Christmas fluff is always a good thing ^-^

The first thing I draw in 2019: Midam.

I LOVE

ARGH

ASFKSAJFKSJSK

oh definitely! I mean, I headcanon that Adam pretty much always has love bites on his neck because Mike is extra like that . If someone flirts with Adam though, even if they back off as soon as Adam (and Michael) make it clear that Ad’s a taken man, the next day Adam will have fresh love bites basically everywhere.  

Adam tries to keep Michael from scaring people to badly though, and would probably be the first to try and 1. calm Michael down and 2. let the person know that he’s taken and not interested. If said person decides not to back down, then Michael would 100% put the fear of God into them (not hurt them though, because Adam won’t let him) 

The first thing I draw in 2019: Midam.

I LOVE

ARGH

ASFKSAJFKSJSK