Where will you adjust your essay to strengthen your point?
The main adjustment I plan to make is tightening my introduction so my thesis is clearer earlier. Right now, I ease into the topic too slowly, which could weaken reader engagement. I also want to revise a body paragraph where I summarize sources instead of analyzing them. By focusing more on why the evidence matters and how it supports my argument, I can strengthen my overall point. These changes will help the essay feel more intentional and persuasive rather than descriptive.
This is a great point. Something that could help you get to your thesis point faster could be using a hook! Create a hook line as your first sentence that will entice the reader to continue to read. This could be a fun fact, a popular quote, a joke, or other examples you may find online. Just a thought.















