LaffGaff

What do you call a female pirate who loses a leg?

The aorta is my favorite artery.

I never understood why we have those arrows with rubber suckers at the end.

What has three wheels and goes at speed along the river bed?

Someone has stolen all the soap from my bath.

I just saw a paleontologist sitting in a bar talking to a piece of coal.

I have just one thing to say to all the horribly disorganized grocery stores out there:

I’ve decided I’m gonna go on a second diet.

I never understood odorless candles.

My friend went for a job at a sunscreen factory but didn’t get it.

I used to work in a shoe recycling center.

I bought my wife a lamp in the shape of a Coke bottle.

Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport?

They closed the local bridge today.

My friend got to the final of the local model railway competition.

I saw a transparent billboard yesterday.

Did you hear about the guy that was caught stealing hearing aids?