A Collection of Thoughts

Short summary of the dream/nightmare sequence:

Stolas envisions a (possibly younger? I'll address this later) version of himself, wandering through his father's 'stables.' He encounters a fantasy alt version of Blitz portraying some sort of stable worker, possibly, and they have a steamy encounter...until it turns sour. In the middle of the sexual fantasy, the dream-Blitz's tail turns into Striker's, and he pulls out the angelic dagger that Striker used to torture Stolas in Western Energy. The fantasy then becomes a PTSD nightmare. This blonde Baron Blitz? turns into Striker and stabs Stolas. The dream sequence ends with a splash of red blood and Stolas waking up, panicked and trying to make sure he hasn't actually been hurt. But the black on his fingers isn't blood, just spilled ink from his pen.

Why This Fantasy

We know from Sinsmas that Stolas writes smutty romance as an outlet/hobby, enough that Blitz has gotten him a journal to do so. The basic tropes of the story – a shut-in prince, a suave and cocky rider/possibly stablehand, an impromptu roll in the hay – are all pretty standard archetypes stemming from older mass-produced romance stories. Stolas is clearly using this as a way to privately vent his sexual desires and to scratch some sort of creative itch.

But the story also incorporates personal touches. Stolas envisions himself as a prince, like in his actual life. But he also envisions himself with his feather streak and white pupils, traits he hasn't had consistently until he lost his powers. Incorporating the horse stables comes from his growing knowledge of how much Blitz loves horses. Blitz's blond hair is a throwback to classic romances of the 80s and 90s, but it's also based on Blitz's own preferred wig color when he does drag. While he gives Blitz a different name (that he decides he hates), it's pretty clear that, whenever Stolas is fantasizing, he doesn't really want to picture anyone else.

There are things to be said about whether or not this is 'healthy,' but he's ultimately expressing his desires in a way that is not intended to actually affect anyone else.

What His Fantasy Gets Right

Details like the incorporation of horses/the blond hair show that Stolas is learning about Blitz and what is important to him. He's putting Blitz into a fantastical and fictional setting, but in a role he feels Blitz would actually like. The fantasy also incorporates a lot of the way they interacted in The Circus, right down to Blitz dipping Stolas as a seduction method.

I think one of the things that has to be taken into consideration with Stolas' fantasies about a working class person whisking him away from his royal life is that he's never known a life beyond being royalty (except for now schlepping on Blitz's sofa) so he can't even picture what he'd be outside of that (especially because "OUTSIDE" has generally been hateful and violent to him) and has never gotten along with people of his own social status, so nothing involving someone of his own social class would be a fantasy. It's far from perfect or unproblematic, but he's trying.

Blind Spots in His Fantasy

As pointed out in my mootie's post here, Stolas is still showing a pretty big lack of knowledge about the class system in general. He knows his position as a prince and just keeps himself as that. But he gives himself no real role or identity beyond that, only wandering around and smelling flowers/petting the horses. Blitz is … presumably a stablehand or someone else who works with the horses, but he doesn't have any apparent job to do. He's seen gallivanting in on horseback, which would be something reserved for the horse's owner and perhaps a trainer. But he's certainly not dressed like someone who trains the horses in the royal stables. So, what is he? Stolas probably doesn't know much about keeping horses and what's involved with them. He has no grasp and leaves it very vague in favor of what he really is trying to do...write smut. This actually extends into a full discussion about Stolas' general lack of autonomy, which I'll touch on later.

But also, and perhaps most importantly. The Baron/Blitz in this fantasy also doesn't talk the way Blitz did when they first hooked up in The Circus, which is an important note and really starts to show where Stolas is mentally.

The Fantasy Starts Falling Apart

Baron/Blitz's manner of speak is actually a sign that this fantasy is starting to go sideways immediately. His 'dirty talk' dialogue centers on what he knows Stolas wants.

“If you wanted me to stop, we both know you could stop me, but you wanna get filthy, don't you?”

This is a sign of Stolas processing his sexual desires, and that kind of talk is pretty typical for bodice ripper romances. But it's a far cry from what his actual dynamic was with Blitz when their situationship was happening.

Their conversations beforehand involved far more question and answer. Importantly, Blitz usually emphasized letting Stolas express what he wanted. For someone as repressed and emotionally floundered as Stolas, I think that was always very key to their dynamic. Stolas has led a very specific and stifled life that robbed him of a lot of personal choice and identity. Feeling listened to in this manner is a good part of why he became so infatuated.

So why did this fantasy take this “you want to” route before going sour? For several reasons, the first and possibly most crucial being Apology Tour.

Blitz tried to show up at Stolas' palace the morning after Full Moon and practically demand sex. You could see him going through the paces trying to recreate their first night from The Circus, but his emotional walls were up, and his wording was all wrong. He told Stolas what Stolas wanted, even when Stolas was saying quite the opposite, and he insisted that this moment had to be a fantasy of Stolas' and doubled down Stolas' interest in him being entirely based on classism. Communication was gone. Stolas realized that Blitz was refusing to believe him, and the conversation devolved. In fact, the way Blitz spoke specifically reminded Stolas of the way Striker speaks.

While Stolas made this sound like a very surface level argument, this concept seemed to have dredged up a lot of internal pain, and I can't blame him. The one person he had romantic feelings for was reminding him of the guy who mocked, tortured, and almost killed him.

Then, Blitz deepened the hurt by accidentally admitting that he knew Striker tried to kill Stolas once and never said anything. It hammered in the idea that Blitz really didn't care about Stolas and wouldn't feel anything if something happened to him. And this painful thought seems to have rooted itself deep enough to survive into Season 3.

And this was the last time Blitz and Stolas directly discussed sex with each other.

Now, Stolas has found out since then that Blitz does care about him post-Mastermind, but Blitz has never clarified that such feelings were there before Stolas attempted to die in his place. To Stolas, it looks like any post-Mastermind affection is borne out of obligation. Which, affection based on obligation is what he was trying to stop in the first place by giving Blitz the crystal.

Long story short, as soon as the Baron/Blitz character in Stolas' fantasy started talking to Stolas in this manner, Stolas' subconscious probably tied it to one of his most painful memories with Blitz, and the one memory that most blended Blitz and Striker together in his mind.

Blitz and Striker – Two Sides of the Same Coin

Thematically, Striker and Blitz are foils of each other. Striker appears to be everything Blitz wants to be in Season One: independent, a horse owner, works alone, claims to hate the unfairness of Hell's class system, confident, a ruthless killer, and strong enough to be Blitz's equal in the Pain Games.

They do, however, have major core differences. Despite how much he claims to not need help or complains about his employees, Blitz wants to work with others: even if they're difficult sometimes. Even if they occasionally hold him back. As much shit as he gives the people around him, his limits are drawn the moment someone else tries to hurt them. He is protective, and he genuinely at his core wants his friends and family to live up to their full potential. He very much doesn't want to be alone like Striker is, a fact that his own bad trip version of Striker even mocks him for.

Where Blitz fights the corrupt class system by starting his own business and filling it with people he feels have potential/need the stability, Striker works directly under the orders of Stella and Crimson: one of the most classist characters in the show and one who has an entire wall of “trophies” taken from other lower class denizens of Hell who have displeased him. Despite his complaints about the class system and how royalty fucks over people beneath them, he's more than willing to work for some of the worst of the worst if it benefits him. Striker will betray any of his alleged principles for the right price, something Blitz is starting to realize he doesn't want to do.

And Stolas knows Blitz wouldn't turn like that, right?

Well, from what Stolas thinks he knows, Blitz kind of already has.

I.M.P., Violence, and Stolas' Impression of the Working Class

Stolas' first experience working at I.M.P. was the terrible customer during Sinsmas, who wanted her ex-husband killed for starting a relationship with a man and raising their daughters in that “sinful” lifestyle. Both Blitz and Stolas clearly saw parallels to Stolas' own situation, and Stolas in his poor (pretty much turning actively suicidal) mental state declared that taking the job was fine. Maybe selfish men like that (like him) didn't deserve to live. Blitz hesitatingly agreed to take the job, for double the price. We, the audience, know he had an internal crisis later and didn't follow through with the kill...

But Stolas does not.

He left before they returned from that abandoned mission, and with everything that happened afterward, it's most likely he never found out, either. If Blitz couldn't be bothered to tell him Striker tried to kill him, he's not going to think of this little detail in the middle of the Sinsmas chaos.

So, in Stolas' view, Blitz has already willingly killed someone very much like him, knowing the situation is very much like him, just with the condition that it costs more. And to reinforce that, violence and shame have very much been Stolas' experience with the outside world at large. From his own years of abuse, to I.M.P.'s purpose, to the attacks at Loo Loo Land, to the mockery at Ozzie's, to Loona hitting Blitz in the crotch in Seeing Stars, to being captured and tortured in Western Energy, to Moxxie and Millie gleefully fighting each other in Sinsmas, Stolas' experience with the world has been one where violence was normalized and accepted. The I.M.P. characters are willing to hurt others and even each other. Even Stolas' sexual dynamic with Blitz had been full of consensual violence: a thing that has now been turned negative since he used it as a coping method to keep his composure against Striker. Now he might struggle think of the consensual pain he experienced with Blitz without also associating it with the actual torture he underwent. That, combined with all the above factors, makes his subconscious consider...

In a darker timeline, would Blitz treat him just as cruelly as Striker did? Would he be just as willing to kill him? Would Stolas be no different than one of I.M.P.'s many targets: just another someone they would kill for the right price?

When Stolas is startled out of the nightmare with a splash of blood, the blood is not black like his own. It's red, like a human. Like I.M.P.'s targets.

Stolas and Autonomy

Another thing that is subtly shown in this fantasy is Stolas' lack of autonomy. With the way he's been socially isolated, generally disliked, and lived a highly controlled life, he very much lacks a sense of self-identity and has difficulty making decisions or goals.

In the fantasy, this first shows up in the fact that he has his visible pupils: a sign of his depowered state. It might just be his subconscious seeing his current self, but it also might be a sign that he's trying to “fix” some of the power imbalance between himself and Baron/Blitz in the fantasy, but at the cost of his own powers. He's willing to give up a significant part of himself to try and make things 'better.'

He is still a prince in this fantasy because he can't see himself as anything else, but likely not as any sort of vanity, but because he's never been allowed to be anything else. He hasn't experienced the outside world enough to find potential identity in anything else and has largely associated the rest of his world with something that wants to hurt him, shut him out, or shut him into a specific box. He just literally has no reference of what he could be other than the shut-in prince.

Please see this other ridiculously long meta post of mine if you want to go into why Stolas has fantasies in the first place and the many, many reasons he struggles to see himself in anything beyond a prince-in-a-tower type of archetype.

Not only is all this true about him, but he is also well aware that his entire identity exists only because of his father. His palace was given to him, his job was given to him, his spouse was chosen for him - all from his dad. Stolas has never had an identity that didn't have Paimon looming over it, determining it in some way. So, even in his fantasy where he tries to NOT put Blitz directly under his own influence, the best he can imagine is the stables being Paimon's. He can't envision a scenario in which he would run into Blitz from something completely his own.

Also, while Stolas has made a few fairly important decisions in his life, if anything, they have discouraged him from trying harder:

Raising Octavia as a more traditional parent vs. handing her over to servants/caretakers. While this was good in itself, his determination to give Via a "family" to grow up in only allowed him to live under Stella's abuse and hurt himself in the long run.

Sleeping with Blitz and lending the Grimoire, which set off... everything that has happened to him since

Demanding the divorce, which was long overdue but also furthered Stella's resolve to have him murdered and Andrealphus' determination to steal his power and title

Giving Blitz the crystal, which was his idea to free Blitz from any sense of obligation but caused the meltdown between them in Full Moon/Apology Tour.

Taking the blame in Mastermind, which saved Blitz's life but at the cost of everything else Stolas had, including the trust of his own daughter.

The long and short of it is that Stolas has lived a life controlled for him, with where and how he lives and who he sees and marries and even his job/role in Goetian society determined for him. And any time he has stepped outside of that, it has come with horrible consequences. Stolas struggles to see himself as anything beyond a simple prince because anything else has always been disallowed, if not outright punished. Since the rest of Hell hates him for what he is, the rest of the upperclass have always shunned him, and he doesn't seem willing to imagine Blitz into any other form but who he is...even in this sexual fantasy where he is actively trying to “fix” some of the problematic aspects of the early Stolitz dynamic, he still can't envision anything that isn't prince/working class.

And Stolas even seems to envision himself as younger, perhaps a teen version? In an attempt to create a romance before he married and his life got worse under Stella. He simply can't envision a way out of that struggle except for it never happening in the first place.

This struggle with autonomy also circles back to the way Baron/Blitz spoke to him during their dirty talk moment. Again, it was mostly about that fantasy version telling Stolas what he wanted, rather than getting verbal consent. After Mastermind and Sinsmas, Stolas probably has issues trusting his own decisions and taking action on anything he has wanted. He is stuck: situation-wise, emotionally, sexually, in just about any way possible, and he can't see a way to improve any of them. So, in the fantasy, Baron/Blitz tells him what he wants and tells him he could stop it if he didn't. Stolas' role is far more passive than he actually was while involved with Blitz.

I'm also going to link to another wonderful mutal's post about how this fantasy likely also showed Stolas' sense of shame around his sexuality. With the way he grew up, and with how everything went down after sleeping with Blitz, he probably feels a sense of shame still having sexual wants. He likely has shame about the fact that he gave into them in the first place. So imagining a scenario where someone tells him what he wants is initially easier in this case... until it triggered everything else.

Abuse and Consent

This is a point I've seen others make, too, but the "you could stop me" argument is a misjudgement often attributed to abuse victims, especially if they are technically more physically strong or powerful than their abuser. Some people dismiss abuse on these people by claiming that they could have just stopped it by force if they wanted to. This is, of course, NOT how things often are in reality and dismisses a lot of abuse factors like societal pressure, isolation, and emotional abuse. But the fantasy Baron/Blitz using that phrasing can be a subconscious tell on Stolas' guilt and complex feelings about his own abuse. He likely has internalized guilt that he "could have" stopped the Grimoire deal earlier, or never allowed it to happen at all, and prevented all the struggles they've gone through since. He likely also has internalized guilt that he "could have" stopped Stella's abuse if he was good enough, if he could make the right choices. His subconscious is basically putting the guilt from being Stella's abuse victim on himself, which is unfortunately common for victims.

Conclusion

I think we're going to see a Stolas going into Season 3 who is struggling with himself a lot. He doesn't know who he is. He doesn't know if there is a point in trying to discover who he is. He's not sure if the people around him now will tire of him once their sense of obligation wears off. He is still hopelessly attracted to Blitz but likely afraid to act on that after Season 2's consequences and his uncertainty of where Blitz's emotions really stand. He likely won't be up for the more violent/aggressive styles of sex like they had before, as it would be a trigger, but he probably also fears that Blitz would ONLY be interested in sex with him because he was able to have that violent dynamic and enjoy it.

Stolas currently doesn't know how to function in normal life and doesn't see a future for himself.

And under all of it lurk the stains of his trauma and abuse, ready to remind him that Stella still wants him dead, and the world still wants to cause him pain. So, should he even bother to want anything in the first place, or is that just a guarantee that he'll make things worse?

Why Stolas Relies on Fiction

Stolas and Real World Relationships

Stolas has almost zero experience with healthy, real-world relationships besides the one he kept with Via (flawed as it was). He barely knew his father, and it's likely he never or barely knew his mother. He never experienced traditional friendships, dating, or any sense of community. His wife was selected for him in childhood, and his culture was one that kept emotional relationships at a distance. While 'normal' children were playing with friends and dreaming of their futures, he grew up alone, his path determined by adults who couldn't even remember his name.

Strong emotional relationships simply didn't exist around him besides the one he formed raising Via. But Stolas was an emotional individual: he felt deeply, despite his self-expression being discouraged since childhood. The way he was raised, and the society he entered in adulthood, did not give him any tools to understand himself or form genuine connections. So he sought that comfort in the only place a lone introvert often can: reading and media. Fiction was a precious resource for Stolas, both to see how others interpreted their lives and to find comfort in stories that were similar to his own.

Goetian Culture & Their Unreliable Social Niceties

Stolas may have lived an isolated life, but he wasn't completely in a bubble. His behavior was influenced greatly by how he was raised. The Goetia by and large conceal many genuine, positive emotions and lean towards condescension and rehearsed politeness. The politeness is often hiding more selfish or malicious intent, too. Stolas' personality did not fit into this, which placed him as a target among his own kind instead of a welcome participant. Stolas spent much of his life expecting 'normal' conversations to be a trap, with a metaphorical (or literal) dagger behind the other person's back. He was not raised to expect honesty from others unless it was used to be scornful or insulting.

Direct Communication Doesn't Work

There is a little-explored, yet important reason why Stolas often references fiction/fantasy to explain his viewpoint. When his speech/behavior is more 'normal,' he's frequently punished for it.

There is a major drawback to Stolas being a Goetia, where kindness or politeness is often a condescending facade, and classism is normalized: Stolas' sincerity is not taken at face value. This can be reflected in how Stolas interacts with most characters from imp to Sin.

Because of his race, status, and upbringing, Stolas is often assumed to be as backhanded and selfish as the rest of his kind. Growing up in Goetian society, without outside influence, meant he doesn't recognize when his behavior is condescending or that his speech is littered with accidental microaggressions. Neither of these help his cause. This combo leads to his intentions being very, very frequently taken the wrong way, even when he's being as literal and direct as possible. Stolas is actually a very honest character in dialogue. However, that honesty is often mistaken for having a hidden negative meaning.

A few episodes depicting this: A genuine invitation is just another bodyguard request in The Harvest Moon, honest support is sarcasm in The Circus, having feelings means looking for an artificial love potion in Oops!, and expressing feelings to Blitz is a roleplay designed to fuck with him in The Full Moon

And if Stolas' honesty is understood, it often leads nowhere. His thoughts or wants are quickly refused or turned into a problem. His world doesn't value it. in fact, from Stolas' viewpoint, trying for honest communication is a weakness that gets him immediately shut down, invalidated, or insulted. And this isn't just a Stolitz issue - it's a lifelong experience. It's one of the reasons he tries to form conclusions on his own or dance around topics. People don't want to talk things out with him. Honesty is a vulnerability that allows him to be dismissed or become a target.

Some examples: His caretaker's response to his excitement/Paimon's response to his crying in The Circus, Stella berating him for singing about his feelings in The Circus, Ozzie easily turning down his request in Oops, Blitz refusing to believe that Stolas was being honest and insulting Stolas' feelings in Apology Tour

When Stolas drops his metaphors and flowery wording, people tend to not believe what he's saying or flat out deny/insult him. There's no discussion to be had. Honest communication results in dead ends where he gets ignored at best or berated/harassed/abused at worst. Trying to have direct conversations only highlights how much he 'doesn't fit in' and brings punishment or further exclusion.

As a result of this, he's learned to dance around conversations as soon as he is turned down or not taken seriously. His most common technique is fawning or acquiescing, focusing on the other person's thoughts to prevent or solve conflict. He does this with Via at the end of Loo Loo Land, during the disastrous 'date' at Ozzie's, with Blitz as a child and an adult in The Circus, and many more examples. He's also prone to jumping to his own conclusions and making decisions 'for the better' that accidentally end in disaster.

But when he doesn't feel like completely giving up yet, Stolas tries another route on his way to being understood: referencing a story to explain himself.

Fiction as Communication

A few times in the show, Stolas makes references to fantasy or overtly dramatic fiction stories. Some of the most obvious examples are calling Blitz his 'knight in shining armor' when he's supposed to be bodyguarding; agreeing with Gabriella's, "Why won't you love me?" in Hella Novella; and referencing the rom-com of Harriet getting on the train. When he does this in conversation, it makes him more easily understood. If Stolas is talking to another character, they tend to immediately understand what he's saying or at least 'get' the reference. There's less risk of misconstruing his words. In fact, it's effective enough that we, the audience, can grasp it as well. For a character who is frequently misunderstood, having these comparisons makes him feel more represented and better able to communicate. He has never been 'backed up' by someone in a conversation, so his beloved stories are the closest thing he has.

Reverting to stories often gets him an explanation, rather than an outright insult or denial. These stories are how Stolas helps make sense of his rather fucked up life and a world that doesn't function the same way as him. It's one of the only bridges he has between the feelings he's trying to convey and what other people might understand or believe.

Fiction Deflects Conflict

This is another little-explored concept that deserves attention. Stolas' fictional comparisons provide an emotional shield.

Turning the conversation to a common story trope creates a small piece of distance for himself. Once the focus is on the fictional comparison, it's no longer only about Stolas, who is easily insulted or refused. It's now about a larger picture - the metaphorical situation at hand. He is, for a moment, not referring to himself, but something that represents him. Stolas can gauge people's responses to the fictional context, rather than making himself an immediate target. For a character who has survived verbal and physical abuse for a long time, this is crucial. He can step out of the spotlight and not be directly attacked.

But Why Use Unrealistic Story Tropes?

If Stolas relies on fiction as a safe fallback, why pick the non-realistic fairy tales/romances? Why melodramatic, over-the-top scenarios and not something more grounded? Why not create realistic comparisons that don't blow his expectations out of proportion?

The simple answer is that Stolas can't relate to grounded, realistic stories. The over-the-top, dramatic ones are the only ones that remind him of himself... or have given him any hope over the years.

Picking Familiar Stories

The complaint that Stolas should have normal expectations with his life/relationships has one big flaw; "normal" can only be based on his own reality, and Stolas' life has not been typical by any stretch. He's had very few experiences in common with the average denizens of Hell and also never fell into the Goetian society's culture of scorn and superiority. So, if Stolas never saw himself in others, and he never saw himself in 'realistic' fiction, where would he find familiarity? Historic fantasy, soap operas, action/romance, and fairy tales.

Stolas' life has had more in common with soap opera characters or fairy tale princesses than with an everyday working person. His life has very much resembled the love interest in a classic fairy tale/adventure fantasy:

Royalty

Physical privilege coupled with neglect and isolation (the "princess locked in the tower" trope)

An unwanted arranged marriage

Limited real-world experience

Magic powers and spells

A future 'destined by the stars'

Technically royalty, yet not an active part of royal society

Romantically attached to someone from a different social status

Under the control of a violent/abusive character

Lack of social contacts outside his antagonists' influence

Unwilling pawn in political schemes

Surrounded by antagonists trying to use his title for their benefit

Emotionally isolated by his antagonists as a means of control

Repeatedly captured/forced into a damsel-in-distress situation

Unable to escape his antagonists without outside influence

If Stolas compared himself to a damsel in distress, or to a tragically trapped romantic lead, it wasn't because he was setting standards that were unrealistic to his life. It was based on his genuine experience.

Chances are he started seeing himself in these stories quite early on. Without a way out of his arranged marriage, teenage Stolas might have fantasized about being 'saved' from it as the date edged nearer and nearer. But that obviously never happened, and "joining" the Goetia family didn't help his isolation, either. Instead of expanding his social circle, it only reinforced that he was an outcast. He couldn't make friends, he never had a chance to date, and he couldn't be treated like any normal denizen of Hell. His home life was abusive, and his wife and brother-in-law did everything to ensure he stayed as helpless and demotivated as possible. Stolas carried the privilege of royalty but was metaphorically a prisoner, trapped without a support net. And an individual penned in that badly might not be capable of escaping their abuse on their own.

By the time Octavia was out of a crib, Stolas had completely given up on having individual goals and lacked any outside influence or resources to change his life for the better. The concept of a 'knight in shining' armor might have been a fantasy. But that was because 'reality' held no future for him. The fantasy was an expression of his need for someone beyond the people who controlled his life, something that might give his existence any value. In fantasy adventure stories, a character stuck under such control often has their lives interrupted by the proactive, ambitious protagonist -Exactly as Blitz did with Stolas, even if Blitz didn't realize he was doing that.

Violence That Reinforced Tropes

Stolas' stifling lifestyle became more and more apparent to viewers during the first two seasons of the show. Not only were his home and social life volatile and dangerous ... but based on his lack of reaction in Loo Loo Land, he expected the same in the outside world, as well. (Honestly, I feel like not enough people talk about this.)

Via, I understand you had a right to be angry in this ep, and Stolas could technically get himself out of this, but viewers should recognize that this was what happened when Stolas attempted a fun day out.

Via thought needing a bodyguard was ridiculous, but, Stolas - and specifically JUST Stolas until the last few minutes - WAS attacked. Sure, Stolas could technically handle the attacking imps at Loo Loo Land with magic if he wanted, but that wasn't a situation he should have had to deal with. And note that Via was largely left alone, enough to wander off without him uninterrupted. And as much as Via had a right to be angry/upset during that trip, she had almost no reaction to her own father being tied up etc. Maybe Stolas didn't 'need' a bodyguard for survival, but his thought that this outing could bring violence against him was 100% correct.

And Stolas was turned into a target in public in the majority of his outside experiences in-show.

Of the times Stolas was in a social or public situation in Seasons 1-2, not in a private conversation:

Loo Loo Land: repeatedly assaulted or tied up.

The Harvest Moon: a place he considered safe and predictable, not needing guarding - he later found out he was nearly assassinated.

Truth Seekers: a rare reversal, where he was needed to swoop in to help protect Blitz and I.M.P. from harm.

Ozzies: publicly humiliated by someone of the highest rank in their society, on said someone's property.

The Circus: humiliated and demeaned by Stella at a party in his own palace. Managed to semi-turn it on her head by sleeping with Blitz/demanding the divorce, but later Andrealphus managed to skew this into Stolas acting strange for a Goetia and being emotionally fragile/easy to manipulate.

Seeing Stars: another rare incident where he was not a direct target, instead tagging along while Blitz was shoved into his mistaken identity.

Western Energy: Met in a public space and was ambushed and almost murdered at Stella's behest. Saved from further mutilation by M&M but would have likely been murdered had Stella not called it off. Ended the episode alone in the hospital, ghosted by Blitz and hearing from no one else (did Via ever find out this happened to him, or did he hide it because it involved her mother and he didn't want her to have to process that?).

Apology Tour: Mostly drinks in a corner on his own. Pressured into singing about his feelings on stage (singing being one of his favorite forms of expression but also something he's been shamed for by characters like Stella). Drinks alone again, is followed by Blitz who apologizes but seems to be reiterating that he's not the right choice for a relationship and doesn't understand why Stolas would want one with him. Stolas finally breaks down with the feeling that he'll never actually feel wanted in any significant way. Ends up drunk dancing/making out with BTBG.

Mastermind: saved Blitz's life by making up a story and allowing himself to become the reviled villain everyone easily wanted to treat him as. Made the violence/dislike of him even more publicly acceptable and encouraged.

Sinsmas: Spent the montage either being hated or messing up in public. Taunted and nearly murdered by his ex-brother-in-law for trying to see his daughter.

At the majority of those incidents, public humiliation or violence/physical assault were aimed directly at him. In short, Stolas was accustomed to being the target of hate or violence both in his home and out. And, before the end of Mastermind, he was always left to process it alone. This was a recurring theme that only intensified as the show progressed. He couldn't go experience normal life because life made it clear that he wasn't wanted.

The symbolism in this scene was massive. Stolas had just been massively injured, a rarity for a Goetia. He was instantly sent a bunch of flowers, likely a socially required gesture from other upperclass. Yet no one actually came to see him, and the only communication he received was one text from Blitz before being left on read. Stolas was once again left to manage the aftermath of his abuse by himself.

Possible Past History with More Outside Violence?

Some of this is fan theory pretty much, based on context clues. Previous violence in the 'outside world' was potentially hinted at in Harvest Moon. Stolas said he felt "quite safe" at the harvest festival due to its predictability. This could have just been a simple reference to Loo Loo Land in response to Blitz, but it could have also been a hint that Loo Loo Land episode was not the first time he had been aware of a physical threat during an outing. And in his personal life, it was shown more than once that Stella is physically violent when angry. Stolas also had a rather downplayed response to finding out his ex-circus clown friend now murders people for a living. Basically, context clues showed us that Stolas has been accustomed to violence against himself until he more or less expected to be treated with aggression, and for the rest of the world to look away while it happened. His worldview was skewed.

Expecting to lose his head in Mastermind definitely showed his lack of awareness RE his privilege. But this behavior came from a character who spent 2 seasons coming to the conclusion that enough people around him did, in fact, want him very dead - and those who didn't seemed mostly indifferent about whether or not he was.

What Does This History Mean for His Fantasies?

Stolas' relationship with reality was skewed from the start, because he has almost never had a 'normal' day in his life. His fallbacks to melodrama were a reflection of his own experience. Interacting with the world in a 'realistic' and 'normal' manner was literally less attainable for Stolas than hoping for a fairy tale. If he seemed to compare himself to a tellanovella or a fantasy, it was because he'd been forced to live through tropes reflected in them constantly with no escape. Being an average person was a foreign concept he couldn't relate to.

Stolas' fantasy comparisons did, indeed, set absurd and impossible standards, but his reality was an absurd one that was impossible to navigate.

The Meaning Behind His Fantasies

So, if Stolas set these fantastical expectations out of his own experience and desperation, what did he want out of them?

We finally got a breakdown to the root of Stolas' fantasies in Apology Tour. After believing that Blitz has never/would never have feelings for him, getting very drunk, and generally giving up, Stolas believed he had nothing left to lose by being honest one more time. He inserted the Harriet on the Train comparison, but it devolved into real, actual talk. And by the end of it, we understood that Stolas' melodramatic visions stemmed from a desire to:

Be someone's significant other

Feel wanted

Feel like his presence carried emotional weight to someone else

To have someone to find him worthy of physical and emotional intimacy

These were the root of most of Stolas' metaphors and book/TV references. The "foolish fantasy" of his boiled down to his need to feel loved and special to someone but living surrounded by people who wanted to dismiss or hurt him.

While his behavior was indeed self-destructive and chaotic, it was less so from his viewpoint at the time. His fantasies were the result of a profoundly lonely individual, forced to live through many of the most painful fantasy/adventure tropes, trying desperately to find connection with a world that acted as if those tropes couldn't exist and he shouldn't exist.

Stolas failed to make grounded decisions because he had never had experience with that concept. It wasn't that he refused reality - it was that he'd never been allowed to live in reality in the first place.

Is Stolas Alone in Using Fiction as an Emotional Escape?

In the show, no, he's canonically not.

Just like Stolas, we've been shown one other character who has processed life by inserting himself, people around him, and familiar traits into fictional characters:

One who's had a bad habit of seeking out escapist fantasy as a coping method for his worst emotional states:

So, why did things go differently for Blitz these two times?

He actually had a support system, even if he didn't realize it. Loona carried his drunken self to the van/home before he could fall more into a self-destructive loop in Queen Bee. In Ghostfuckers, Millie helped him realize that he had more value than the Bethany character he was desperately trying to emulate. Blitz has had characters willing to call him out or pull him from his self-destructive behaviors. Stolas' only healthy relationship has been with Via, who he over-sheltered but also deliberately prevented from being both a dependent child and his personal safety net. That was not her job to have to do.

Blitz had a 'normal' reality to ground himself around and go back to. Stolas' reality was the skewed, suffocating one that reinforced his kinship with fantasies in the first place.

Stolas and "Facing Reality"

The support system and grounded reality are things Stolas is now plunging headfirst into post-Mastermind and post-Sinsmas; he just hasn't fully processed it yet. And despite the taste he's getting of it, I think the plot's still going to try to remind him from time to time that he's not supposed to belong there - he'll just actually have other characters that say different this time, which is something he's never experienced before.

Final Words

The concept of Stolas' life basically being one big collection of fantasy/melodrama tropes is something I've always thought of when people discuss his constant references to fiction or disconnect from normal life. It's a trait that's well-tied into his personal experiences as well as his personality. It's undoubtedly been destructive for him over the course of the show, but its reasoning is well-woven into him as an individual.