Dr. Julia Langford, PhD

fuck plasmids. i get my special powers from eating the Fontaine Futuristics (c) industrial strength fertilizer tablets when no ones looking

the haters will say it’s toxic and kills u. jokes on them. my internal ecosystem has never been healthier. I eat a slice of bread and it’s digested within seconds with the speed and ferocity and horrifically loud noises of a mechanical woodchipper. I could digest a tungsten brick (hypothesis)

If your life is horrible and you need a new source of meaning and direction.... Do NOT find religion. Learn to identify plants.

age-old advice, don’t fuck where you eat

I hate mites. We should have done screenings of EVERY specimen brought down here like I suggested but nooo “if it thrives above it will thrive below” they said. “btw we’re paying you to make stuff thrive below because it won’t on its own” they also say. I hate it here

mealybugs devoured my chamomile and sage and mites killed the corn. Im so desperate for fresh food