When I Come Back, I Want To Come Back As A Cat!

Aries: Bronn casually walking up to Winterfell to have a small talk with Tyrion and Jaime, then proceeding to not show up until the end of e6.

Taurus: ‘what do dragons eat anyway?’ ‘whatever they want’ bitch wat.

Gemini: Sansa betraying Jon the moment she could?

Cancer: literally 3 full minutes of Jon just riding a dragon.

Leo: Bran ending up as king when the only true heir is Gendry who was RIGHT THERE.

Virgo: The Long Night lasting ,like, 4 hours.

Libra: Arya not getting the ending she deserved (ahem Gendry ahem)

Scorpio: Daenerys turning mad in the span of 1.3 episodes.

Sagittarius: Jaime leaving brienne in order to die with Cersie, without even being the one to kill her.

Capricorn: Tyrion being a dumbass for 6 episodes straight.

Aquarius: Edmure Tully thinking he’s still relevant.

“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”

- his deepest secret is that he thinks up some of his witty quips ahead of time. sometimes he’ll wake up in the middle of the night and run to write something down and loras is like “babe what’s wrong” and renly’s like “i’m gonna tell littlefinger that his tiny beard looks like a rat’s tail it’s gonna be so funny” 

- like 80% of why he hates the lannisters is because they’re the only house that consistently outserves him when it comes to fashion. one time cersei & jaime show up to a feast in a matching cloth-of-gold gown and doublet with ruby beading around the collars and renly turns to stannis and is like “why can’t you and i ever pull fucking incredible coordinated looks like that” and stannis in his usual all-black ensemble is like “renly i know my concepts” 

- after their bedding ceremony he and margaery (who tbh i headcanon as a lesbian) started shouting stuff through the door like “oh renly you beast ravish me where i stand!” and “margaery you sly vixen at least wait till we’re in bed!” to convince the people still in the hall that they were totally consummating the marriage. they’re like this is definitely what straight people sound like right

- he always gives loras his favor to wear before tourneys even though he has to hide it under his armor. and then whenever he wins renly’s like “wow… my impact”