Lady Grimdark

Without you, I am not loving, brave, or strong; I am breaking.

Something wakes you from your dream. A rustling in your room and the unshakable feeling of being watched. You feel the heavy presence of someone, or thing, but how? You went to bed very much alone. You have yet to open your eyes for fear of whatever it is knowing you have woken. You feel it move about. Circling you, almost, like prey. You begin to hear heavy, wet breaths, and feel malicious intent brewing. Your heartbeat quickens, you sweat, and begin to tremor as fear holds you in his fist. But you haven’t opened your eyes, terror has glued them shut. You feel it then. A weight upon your bed, an unwanted sinking of the mattress. You feel the heat of its body mingling with your own. It is close to you, now. Dinner for whatever beast. You clench your hands tight and prepare to jump up when The weight is lifted from your bed, the heavy air thins. Could it be? Is it gone? You feel your body relax. You take in a gulp of air, let out a shaky sigh of relief, and let your eyes open- And see a pair staring right back at you.

When I am alone, my darker thoughts make themselves known. Nobody loves you, especially not him. How could he? My thoughts are an unwelcome company. Why do you keep trying? Nobody will ever appreciate how hard you work just to make them proud. You should just give up. They speak unwanted truths. You're good at giving up. You quit everything when you start getting good. You let everyone down, anyway. And give unsought counsel. You'll never be as smart as her or as talented as your siblings. You'll never be the best at anything. Without these thoughts, I would truly be alone, but perhaps I could sleep unbothered by the truths they wisper in my ear.