APH Estonia Week Day 2: AU Flower Shop, Belgium, mentions of DenEst, hints of NethBel (I headcanon they are not siblings)
Chap 9/Ending: Forget me not
More than 70 years laterâŠ
Tuuli looked around, in all directions of the street. She sighed, looking down at the yellowed note she was holding in her hand. That was strange, according to the address on the note, that florist should have been here. From the very beginning, the idea of ââfinding a florist that existed more than 70 years ago and had nothing to do with Tuuli seemed crazy. After all those years, there was nothing to ensure that the florist still existed. Even the street where the flower shop was located might have changed its appearance or its name or both many times. There was no way she could find it. Besides, if she was able to find it, what would she do next? Yet she kept bearing a small ray of hope that she could find it, only to be able to see it once. All because she felt both excited and touched by the story of a man that she had never met.
Holding the note firmly in her hand, she thought to herself, what would she do next? If she did everything she could and still couldnât find it, the only way was to go home. But if she went all the way here only to go back, trying so hard but still couldn't find the flower shop, she would feel very disappointed. Over the past 70 years, many changes had taken place. But one thing she was quite sure of was that according to the information she had, even if the name of the street or the surrounding structures were no longer the same as they were 70 years ago, the location of the flower shop was here.
But in front of her now was just an empty space.
Frustrated, she turned and walked away. If it was because of the negligence that made her go to the wrong address, there could still be hope, but if she couldnât find the shop because it no longer existed, she had to accept the truth and give up. She would think of other ways later. If worst came to worst, she had no other choice but to come back to her homeland.
Suddenly there was a voice that was gentle but clear and strong enough to startle her:
- Miss, are you looking for a flower shop named âJellyfishâ? I hope my question doesn't cause you too much inconvenience. If I did something wrong, please forgive me.
That voice belonged to a young man. Normally, Tuuli didn't get these kinds of questions, and she didn't feel very comfortable dealing with a stranger. But now she didnât care much about it because she was surprised at how this person knew that she was looking for the flower shop âJellyfishâ? She hesitantly replied:
- Y..yes. Itâs true that Iâm looking for that flower shop. But how do you know?
- I notice that youâve been standing here, looking sadly and disappointedly into this vacant lot for quite some time. Before that, you were walking around the neighborhood as if you were looking for something.
Tuuli frowned, seemingly displeased. The young man quickly said:
- I didnât mean to spy on you or have any malicious intentions. I was also taking a look at the empty lot. At that time, I noticed you. Your behavior, gestures, and facial expressions were very similar to mine before. The spot you were standing to look at the vacant lot was also the place I used to stand. Everything was strikingly identical to me that I realized right away that there might be another person who was looking for a âJellyfishâ florist.
A revelation that left Tuuli stunned. Was there another person looking for a flower shop that existed more than 70 years ago like her?
- Are you⊠also looking for âJellyfishâ flower shop?
- Yes. Strictly speaking, itâs "used to find" because now I don't look for it anymore. But every year when I have the opportunity, I come back here to stand in this place, just to look at this vacant lot. It's been 5 years already. The first time I looked for it and didn't find it I was quite shocked and confused so I had to extend my search and verify all kinds of information. I guess it is the first time you have searched for it?
Looking at her surprised face where so many questions such as "Why?" and âWhat is this person talking about?â seemed to have written on, he said:
- If you don't mind, let's go to a nearby coffee shop to talk. It's inconvenient to stand here and talk because it's kind of a long story.
Looking at her confused face, he smiled.
- I assure you that I don't have any evil intentions. You can refuse if you don't feel comfortable. It takes a long time to explain in detail, but if you don't want to have coffee with me, I'm willing to stand here and briefly explain everything to you.
Tuuli shook his head slightly:
- I don't think you're a bad person. Just because this is the first time I've come across a situation like this. I'm getting too many shocks at once that I donât know how to react.
- I understand. To be honest, when I saw you and realized that you might also be looking for the "Jellyfish" florist, I was also surprised and had many questions. That's why I want to talk to you.
- Iâll come with you. But before that could you tell me a little bit about yourself?
- Sorry, I was so thoughtless. I should have introduced myself from the moment I started the conversation with you. Meeting someone who was also looking for the "Jellyfish" florist was such an unexpected coincidence that made me forget everything else. My name is Emil KĂžhler. I am from Denmark. And you? Would you mind introducing a little bit about yourself?
- My name is Tuuli Saar. I am Estonian.
- Nice to meet you. Which coffee shop would you like to go to?
- As you please. You seem to know this neighborhood better than I do.
Emil led Tuuli to a small and lovely cafe located not far from the location of the vacant lot. The two decided to sit outside, under colorful umbrellas. Their shades changed the color of the sunâs rays that shined through, making everything glow with a vivid and colorful yet soothing light which is not as blinding as the direct sun's rays.Â
After ordering drinks, Emil said:
- First, there is one thing I need to make clear to you from the beginning: According to my search, the flower shop âJellyfishâ never existed.
The information he told her came like a bolt from the blue.
- Never existed? What do you mean? If it never existed, why did you go looking for it?
- It does not exist in reality but exists in the mind and heart of a relative of mine and those who have seen it.
The more Tuuli listened, the less she understood.
- Could you be more specific, please? To be honest with you, I still don't understand anything.
- It's normal that you don't understand. I know what I told you is hard to believe. Even now, when I am quite sure of my thoughts, the existence of the flower shop âJellyfishâ still leaves me with many questions. Please listen to me as I recount everything from the beginning.
And he started telling his story slowly:
- The reason I went to find a flower shop in a foreign country is that my granduncle had a wish to see that flower shop at least once in his life. In fact, he had never been to this flower shop. He only had that wish because that flower shop meant a lot to the person he loved. However, it was a pity that the last time he saw his lover was in 1946. Since then, until his life-strings were cut, he didnât have a chance to see his lover again, nor did he see the flower shop even once. He passed away 5 years ago. He once went back to Estonia to find his lover, but unfortunately, that person died shortly after the collapse of the Soviet Union. People didnât even think that person would be able to make it to that day because at the end of his life, due to age and illness, he was already very weak. Perhaps that person just tried to wait to see his homeland liberated, but he couldn't wait for my granduncle. My granduncle was heartbroken. I heard that when my granduncle was young, he used to be a cheerful and energetic person. Later on, he seemed to be the same, in an old man's fashion. But anyone close enough to him would realize that as far back as 1947, he had always kept his sadness hidden in his heart. He hadnât been married and had been alone all his life. The older he got, the more time he spent sinking in thoughts. He was a reporter and writer. Besides writing for work, he wrote many other things but never published nor showed them to anyone, but I was pretty sure most of them were things that related to the person he loved. He did things that normal people didn't understand, such as sitting alone but preparing two teacups. Sometimes, his eyes had a distant faraway look as if he was waiting for someone. People said he was old and gaga, but I didnât think so. I just loved and respected him more. Although he was just my grandfather's brother, we were very close. Perhaps because he didn't have a family of his own, he considered my father and me as his own children and grandchildren. Before he died, he handed over everything that belonged to him to me. I read all of his diaries, letters, and notes. Through them, I learned about the person my granduncle loved â a man named Kalev Ilves and learned all the details about the flower shop âJellyfishâ. According to what Mr. Ilves said in the letter, that florist meant a lot to him. After my granduncle went back to Estonia to meet Mr. Ilves but couldn't, he wanted to go to the place that held a lot of memories and was very important to Mr. Ilves. But no matter how hard he tried; he couldn't find even a single trace of the flower shop. As time passed, my granduncle became older and weaker. He couldn't go find the florist himself anymore. He passed away without being able to fulfill his wish. That was why after he passed away, I began my journey and came here to see the flower shop for him. But in the end, I couldnât find it, the truths that I discovered were far different from what I had imaginedâŠ
- Sorry to interrupt but⊠the information you provided⊠1947, my country, the flower shop, the name of your granduncle's lover, your last name, and your granduncle's job⊠Was his name Matthias KÞhler?
- Thatâs right. You know him?
- No. Strictly speaking, I do have a little information about Mr. KÞhler through a person I know. That person was the one your grandfather loved⊠He is also the reason why I want to find the flower shop "Jellyfish"
- So that was the reason why when hearing a person from Estonia was also looking for the flower shop "Jellyfish", I felt a strange feeling appear inside me without being able to explain why.
Pausing for a moment, as if to reflect, he added:
- In this life, fate sometimes creates strange coincidences. And maybe, in a way that is beyond human understanding, there are no coincidences.
- Yes. I never believed in these kinds of ideas. But maybe after meeting you, Iâll have to reconsider my opinion. All the things that happened today challenge my beliefs. So⊠why did you say the flower shop âJellyfishâ never existed?
- Before I explain everything to you, could you tell me more about my granduncle's lover as well as the reason why you are looking for the "Jellyfish" flower shop? I need to know how people perceive something that I consider ânon-existentâ before I can conclude that it really doesn't exist.
- Actually, I've never met Mr. Ilves. Surely you can figure it out as well because you know that he died a long time ago. He was not a relative nor acquaintance of mine. I only know him through his papers, notes, and personal belongings. It all started last summer, I was on summer break. I wanted to use my free time away from my studies to do something useful for the community. I chose to be a volunteer at a nursing home. While cleaning, by luck I came across the properties of Mr. Ilves. His personal belongings were among the old belongings of people who passed away. They were all stored at the nursing home. Usually, such things didnât stay in the nursing home for too long, because after an old person died, his or her family would come to the nursing home to receive his or her personal things and bring them back home. Only a handful of things were left there, boxed up and heaped up in a corner year after year, with no one coming to bring them home. Mr. Ilves' belongings were among them. The nursing home also tried to find a way to return what belonged to Mr. Ilves to someone who related to him. But like Mr. KĂžhler, he had never been married all his life. After his parents died, he had no one he could consider his relative. The nursing home had to give up, so they had to destroy everything that belonged to him because they couldn't keep such things for too long. Normally, personal belongings, especially documents, should never be disclosed to unauthorized individuals. But fortunately, I was trusted. I found favor with the archivist. She saw me as an honest, hardworking, and sincere person. Besides, she had a lot of work to do, so she asked me to take some documents and belongings of those who had no family and destroy them. I was going to destroy everything that I was given, but when I saw Mr. Ilves' notebook with a twig of dried lavender sticking out from its pages, I was strongly attracted. It was like that notebook had a magical power that attracted me, I couldnât stop looking at it. After fighting with my own mind, I decided that I would secretly bring all of Mr. Ilves' things home. I read all of his diaries, letters, and notes. For a reason that I couldnât understand, just through his words, drawings and photos, I could clearly understand his feelings and feel a special connection. I felt touched and deeply empathized with him. I was also fond of the beautiful florist âJellyfishâ and, as Mr. Ilves said, saved part of his soul. So, I went to look for the "Jellyfish" flower shop - a flower shop that existed more than 70 years ago, to trace back a memory of a person that I had never even seen. He wrote that his wish was to visit that flower shop, but he couldn't fulfill it. Long story short, the reason I went to find âJellyfishâ was I wanted to fulfill his last will for him.
- I got it. Thank you. You have read all his notes about the flower shop âJellyfishâ, I guess you must know the woman named Juliette Janssens who was said to be the owner of that flower shop?
- Yes. What was related to the flower shop "Jellyfish" written by Mr. Ilves was mostly about Mrs. Janssens. Not much personal information, but through what he wrote, I can imagine her: a beautiful, gentle, clever, and resilient lady with a heart of gold. I also understand Mr. Ilves' sincere and grateful feelings for Mrs. Janssens.
Emil took out from his backpack a record bag. Inside it was a rather thick stack of papers. He said:
- The reason I said that the flower shop didnât exist was that the woman named Juliette Janssens died before Mr. Ilves arrived in Germany. That is to say around the years 1947 - 1949, Mrs. Janssens had already fallen into an eternal sleep and left this world. Even before 1947, there wasn't any flower shop called "Jellyfish" around this area. Of course, I have expanded my search area.
- Mrs. Janssens died before 1947!!? But apparently, Mr. Ilves met her, talked to her, ate the desserts she made. He had even worked at the "Jellyfish" florist for almost a year, right? Mrs. Janssens and the "Jellyfish" flower shop were also shown in some of his paintings and sketches. What's the explanation for all of this?
- Please view my documents.
Emil said as he handed Tuuli the documents he had taken out:
- I had a hard time getting them. After all of my efforts to find the florist were in vain, I decided to seek help from relevant departments. I had to go to many places, wait a long time, and use many ways to get what I needed. Here are Mrs. Janssens' death certificate, passport, travel record, and some other personal identification documents. All indicated that she died before 1947. I also looked for business documents, but they said there was no document related to the flower shop âJellyfishâ at all. I still didnât give up, because I thought documents could be lost or have some errors. I went to ask the elderly who lived in this neighborhood. I also asked the descendants of those who had served as mayors of this neighborhood and surrounding areas. I also posted information about the flower shop âJellyfishâ on the Internet and asked if anyone had heard of it or seen it. All the answers I got are âDonât know itâ and "Never". Also, "Jellyfish" is not included in any newspaper, paintings, photographs, or other publications that related to this neighborhood.
- You're not fooling me, are you?
- I have no reason to lie to you. Besides, you can see those documents with your own eyes.
Tuuli found his own question absurd. She quickly said:
- I'm sorry. Just because this is hard to believe. Oh right! In Mr. Ilves' notebook, there was a photo of the "Jellyfish" shop. Let me get it for you.
Tuuli hastily rummaged through her bag. Emil also leaned to the opposite side, curious and eager to see the photo. After a while, she rejoiced:
But her expression immediately changed. She looked surprised, disappointed, and a little scared.
- What's wrong with this photo?
The âphotoâ in her hand was just a sheet of blank glossy paper that had been slightly yellowed by time. There was absolutely nothing on that piece of paper, just a few lines of handwritten writing in the bottom corner of the paper.
- How could this be This picture was still normal the last time I looked at it. Why is it blank now? Or itâs not the photo of the âJellyfishâ florist? Did I bring the wrong photo? But there's Mr. Ilves' writing here...
Emil was silent, looking at her earnestly. His eyes were a little sad, contained sympathy and understanding as if saying "I told you so" and âI've been through this beforeâ. Tuuli was dazed for a moment, then she sighed:
- I guess what you said is true. So what did Mr. Ilves do for nearly a year? Where did he stay and who was the woman named Juliette Janssens that he met?
- May⊠maybe he met a ghost? Should it be something spiritual and mysterious like that?
- I have also been thinking and trying to come up with some explanation for this mystery. If any theory goes against your beliefs or upsets you, I apologize in advance. One of the explanations is, like you just said, Mr. Ilves met a ghost. To put it more flowery, he met a spirit. As far as I know, when Mrs. Janssens departed from this life, she still held many regrets and sadness in her heart which weight down her soul. Maybe after her death, her restless soul still lingered and wandered around here. She created the illusion of a flower shop, which was her and her lover's greatest wish to partially satisfy her heart's unfulfilled desires. Based on what is popularly believed, Mr. Ilves' soul was linked to Mrs. Janssens' soul, maybe because they had some things in common or the same kind of soul energy? That was why he could see her and anything whose existence depended on her energy. Or he had come into contact with Mrs. Janssensâ soul through some 'conductor' that acted as a good path, a connection that helped him see and interact with that invisible florist. This "conductor" can be something that Mrs. Janssens was attached to, where her memories and energy were strong, something that attracted her, or a spiritual object that helped break down spiritual barriers, bringing the physical universe and spiritual worlds together. There are so many things like that. I don't have a lot of knowledge on this subject so I can't list them all. Another assumption is that there is nothing mystical or spiritual here. That flower shop was real. But the flower shop we've been looking for all the time and the flower shop âJellyfishâ that Mr. Ilves went to are two completely different flower shops. In other words, our search went wrong from the start. Sounds pretty confusing, right? I'll try to make it as easy to understand as possible. The real owner of the flower shop âJellyfishâ and the person named Juliette Janssens that I went to inquire about were two different people. That means the person weâve been looking for died before 1947 and the real owner whom Mr. Ilves met was still alive at that time. Maybe the reason for our confusion was because the two of them had the same name, there were errors in the documents, or the owner of the florist stealthily changed information related to her identity. During the war, it wasnât uncommon for documents to have errors or be lost or someone changed personal information and was still able to escape the government's notice. As for the "Jellyfish" flower shop, maybe Mr. Ilves remembered incorrectly some details about that shop, such as its name or location. The florist also had undergone so many changes that no one, not even those who have lived in this neighborhood for a long time, can remember it anymore. It may have been destroyed or relocated by now. Regarding the business documents, it might also be lost, the information was wrong. The shop's registered name on the document was originally a different name, but it was later changed to "Jellyfish" before Mr. Ilves arrived. Combining a lot of coincidences, we have this hypothesis that the flower shop weâve been founding and the one Mr.Ilves went to are two different florists. The third hypothesis is everything was caused by some kind of psychological phenomena, such as hallucinations, paranoia, false memories, etc. Mr. Ilves was mentally unstable at that time, not to mention he had just gone through a tiring journey, both physically and mentally. All of the hypotheses I just mentioned, maybe none of them are true, but it is also possible that more than two occur simultaneously. But I prefer to explain this story this way: That flower shop could only be seen by people who have suffered a lot of hurt and trauma in life. âJellyfishâ would be like a stop on the road of life, helping those people heal their souls and giving them the strength to keep moving forward. After completing its mission, it would disappear without a trace. It only existed in the hearts of those who had been healed by it.
- If you think about this story that way, wasn't Mrs. Janssens more of an angel than a ghost? Maybe her wish was not only to build the flower shop but also not to let anyone die yet still held a wounded heart like her. And she lingered here to take care of her dreamsâŠ
- Yes. I think I agree with you.
- I used to think about this mystery a lot. But later on, I didn't think I should impose my thoughts on things like this. Humans often create beliefs because we donât like believing that the universe is random. But I believe it is the unexpected coincidences that make life so beautiful and meaningful. Besides, no matter how much you think about it, it won't do you any good. I still can't tell which hypothesis is correct or find âJellyfishâ. So I just want to think that âJellyfishâ is a beautiful and magical thing that not everyone can reach.
Tuuli nodded. The two sat in silence for a long time. Tuuli's heart was filled with so many emotions right now. This story was mysterious, magical, touching, and warm but also sad. She felt her mind become drowsy like a sleepwalker. Now she couldn't tell what was real and what was a dream. Were this meeting and this man a dream? Or was this life itself a dream?
- Do you want to leave now? We've been sitting here for quite some time.
Tuuli seemed to wake up from the endless stream of thoughts. She said softly:
After leaving the coffee shop, Tuuli asked:
- What are you going to do? Perhaps you will return here in the future?
- I plan to return home the day after tomorrow. It was a blessing to meet you today. I also gained a lot of information and felt comforted when I saw someone like me. I gave up on finding âJellyfishâ, I just come back here every year as a way of remembering my granduncle and filling up my unsatisfied feelings. Then I met you. Thanks to you I could find something more important than the flower shop for my late granduncle. And yes, Iâm still going to come back here in the years to come.
Emil had just finished speaking when the two of them heard a group of children passing by talking to each other:
- Guess what? The vacant lot located between two houses near the intersection has already been bought. I heard people are going to build a house there.
- That means we lost our place to play?
Emil and Tuuli were stunned. They quickly returned to that vacant lot, staring blankly at the sunny ground. She didnât know what Emil was thinking. But Tuuli herself was amazed because she wasnât angry nor sad at all. She just stood there, calmly looking at the place more than half a century ago was a flower shop in dreams. In her heart, a strange feeling of peace and happiness appeared, as if the wish of Tuuli and someone important to her had been fulfilled, as if she met an old friend. Her soul felt like a dry land watered by the rain. The monsoon blew up the rustling dry leaves. Her feelings and Mr. Ilves' sentimental words like ripples stirred her soul, like the clear sound of a crystal bell ringing on hot summer midday. She plucked a bunch of wildflowers and placed them on a small mossy rock in the middle of the vacant lot, where a shrub of purple lavender grew, smiling and whispering:
She stood up, turned to Emil, and asked:
- In the future, this land will not be the same. Will you still come back here?
Emil smiled, looked in the direction of the lavender shrub swaying in the wind, his voice seemed to send to some distant place:
- Probably not. Not because I feel like I've lost my goal or anything, but because there's no need for me to come back here anymore. Maybe they were all reunited somewhere elseâŠ
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Link to the previous chapters:
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Emil is a name I chose based on my favorite character from my favorite game. Tuuli is the name of my aph Tallinn OC. Her name was suggested by a lovely Estonian Hetalian :3
Finally done! ^^ I know this chapter is long and confusing, plus my bad English :/ But I'm glad I finished it and even came up with a plot twist. At first, from the time I started building the plot until chapter 7, I still didn't intend to add a plot twist or add a mystical and fantasy element. This story was originally just a normal romantic and angsty story. It should have ended in chapter 8. But I suddenly thought that it was too boring. Then I wrote this ^^ It took a lot of effort to write this multichapter fic, but it also brought me a lot of pleasure. I feel low-key proud when I can contribute something to my OTP and bias. Maybe in the future, I will rewrite this fic, when I come up with more ideas, improve my writing skills or improve my English haha.Â
I can now focus on my studies I guess.