Not today Justin

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@l1ve-repeat

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âI believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when theyâre right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.â
â
You asked me if I thought we could ever find peace.
âAt times I contemplate the sunset after a long day, wondering how I got that far. I stand there holding a cup of coffee and its warmth intertwined with my fingers â I feel peace.
If the whispers of my own thoughts dare to intrude and intoxicate me, I pause and breath as hard as I can to remind me that Iâm alive. The air washes away the dust in my lungs â I feel peace.
When I see my mother smiling and laughing in despite of it all â I feel peace.
I believe thatâs what it is. Itâs a balance of the good and the bad in exquisite harmony.
I donât believe itâs something you seek and find. Itâs always been within you and the moment you let your guard down, when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and true â you might feel peace residing in your bones.â
â Rose
âAnd take care of yourself, and be happy, but donât forget how big the world is.â
â Martha Gellhorn
Thoughts...
There is always time where I will randomly think of you, wondering how are you doing, wondering if you are living the life that you had been seeking.. Wondering if you still remember me or my existence, wonder if it still hurt or it gave you a phobia.Â
There is no way I can rewind the stupid and foolish mistakes I did, and I am sorry for my actions. Sorry how it affected you and gave our rs/love a bad memories for you then. It was too crazy for me, the emotions the feelings. Probably the worst breakdown I ever had in my 25/26 years..
Many times, I tried contacting you on the thoughts and wants to know how you doing, want to be just a normal friend talking to you despite knowing that it is impossible. Hoping that the current me, the changed me, the different me can be friend with you. And of course, as expected there was no reply, I know that is the response I deserved too. As much as I regret my past actions, I donât think that I will have a chance to ever compensate it for the rest of my life.
I do read back our messages once in a blue moon, constantly realizing what a bad job I did as your gf back then. I can only wish that, those bad memories wonât haunt you from seeking your own happiness or actually gave you a phobia towards rs.Â
If you ever chanced upon this post, I hoped that you will forgive me or rather forgive yourself. Neither of us wants this to happen, is life as it is.I prayed that the god will lead you to your path of happiness, constant adventures and life learning. Â
Sorry for being immature, hope that we will get to cross path one day and you will be proud of who I am now.
Your Past.

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You have to accept that sometimes thatâs how things happen in this world. Peopleâs opinions, their feelings, they go one way, then the other. It just so happens you grew up at a certain point in this process.
Kazuo Ishiguro, Never Let Me Go (via booksqouted)
Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone wonât either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. Itâs the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.
Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum (via wordsnquotes)
I think one of my favorite feelings is laughing with someone and realizing half way through how much you enjoy them and their existence.
Unknown (via deeplifequotes)
The best reason to go forward, is knowing you canât go back.
Anonymous (via wnq-anonymous)

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Dreams are only dreams until you wake up and make them real.
Ned Vizzini, Itâs Kind of a Funny Story (via wordsnquotes)
You saw flowers in me where I saw weeds. Where I saw dirt you showed me how to plant seeds. But most of all, you taught me that Iâm the only person that I need.
thank you for seeing something in me where I saw nothing. // lesbellesmarguerites (via wnq-writers)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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When people won't leave me alone about eating fear foods
(themanicdoll)
Just like me and strawberry đđ
Gotta to this asap.