It has taken me a couple of months to figure this out, but I have finally come to the conclusion that all the chest pains I experience are due to stress induced anxiety.
These anxiety attacks stem off of my fears
I've been talking to someone for about 6 months, and I have this fear that one day, they'll just push me aside and stop talking to me. Though they say those thoughts don't cross their head, I can't help but worry about one day waking up to their absence 💔
I have never had this issue before. These recent anxiety attacks began to develop as a result of past experiences in which I've become close to a person, and they'll cut me off and disappear. I guess this is called ghosting. Usually, I find myself chasing after people. It's always felt like I'm the only one putting in the effort. With my current special someone, that is not the case. He's always there for me. Sometimes, it takes him a day to respond back (when he's busy), but he usually puts in the effort to talk to me, and I really appreciate him for that. I'm glad he's in my life, and I guess that's why I'm just so scared of losing that connection with him someday.
I hate these chest pains. I hate feeling this way. I wish I could stop thinking and make the bad thoughts go away. I'm trying to do my best, but it's so hard augh!!
Still, the negative thoughts never seem to end. I try not to overthink things because I know that this is what inevitably leads to my depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety. That the negative thoughts are my own worst enemy, and it's all just in my head.
Taking deep breaths, crying, and participating in activities that I enjoy keep my mind away from my fears. Talking to my friends is also something that has helped keep my mental health in check.
It's not only losing him that triggers my anxiety. Other outside factors play into the chest pains as well, like thinking about what comes next after my college graduation? Will I be able to get a job? Did I choose the right career? Oh my god, how will I get all these assignments turned in on time?!
Anxiety is exhausting (／。＼)
I hate the chest pains. I hate feeling this way. I wish I could stop thinking and make the bad thoughts go away. At least I'm trying to do my best, but it's so hard. Augh!!
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