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and grief is not a storm. It does not pass.

birthday depression is a real thing.

I feel trapped in MY own body.

sometimes I want someone so bad, so bad I'd sell my soul if it meant having them and just when they show the littlest interest in me, I lose feelings. I still want them but I don't want them anymore. Is it just me?

I had a wound on my arm some time ago and just as I was peeling the scab off the wound that had just started to heal, I thought to myself, "Why am I doing this?" a part of me wanted to stop, but I couldn't. I liked it. there was something so comforting about it, and I couldn't place it in my head. I just wondered why I enjoyed the pain. I picked at it until the wound started to bleed and the pain became unbearable. I didn't enjoy it anymore, and I wished I had never removed the scab. I had to clean up the wound and dress it again. I waited for the wound to heal and started picking at it again! I did this continuously until it scarred. this made me really think about how we, as humans, damage ourselves by disrupting our healing processes and having to start healing again, only to go back to what broke us. Pain is meant to be felt, but we shouldn't let what hurt us once cause us pain again. we should NOT be comfortable with pain.

June is so blue. It used to be yellow♡