John Kauffman

Aizawa: *turns to his coworkers* Put your hand up if you thought Midoriya was Toshinori's son.

[everyone puts their hand up]

Mirio: Bakugou! *gestures wildly to Eri* CHILDREN!

Bakugou: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiis-cuit.... Son of a biscuit.... That's it.

Mirio: Nice save!

Bakugou: Yeah, fuckin nailed it.

Todoroki: Haha I love you too. :)

Yaoyorozu: You were supposed to catch it...

Todoroki: Ohhhh! Ok, let’s try again.

Yaoyorozu: (blows another kiss)

Todoroki: (starts running backwards, arm extended behind him to mime catching something, jumps into the air and body slams into the floor)

Yaoyorozu: (trying and failing to hold back loud cackling) Oh my gosh- ,are you- (more cackling)- are you okay?

Midoriya: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Aizawa: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

Midoriya: But I heard a siren.

Aizawa: That was Ochaco.

Aizawa: Murder. Gangland style execution. We'd never find your head.

Todoroki: That’s a shame.

Ashido: *silently raises finger in question*

Endeavor: That’s it. You’re getting punished. Sort all of these peas, by shade of green, and come get me when you’re done.

Shoto: (dumps the entire bowl of peas in the floor, right in front of endeavor, with a stone face) They’re all fucking green.

Midoriya: I can think of a lot of things that are worse than death.

Midoriya: Losing Ochaco.

Midoriya: Ochaco getting hurt.

Uraraka: Dek-

Midoriya: GETTING SEPARATED FROM OCHACO!

Uraraka: De-

You’re the crybaby!