My Imagination Room

Stranger : So why do you like majikoi so much?

Its been hard to life as a jobless guys.

When your friends are getting success in their career meanwhile you’re still struggling with finding the jobs, its really hard to face it.

Just like when your parents friends saying, ‘whats your son do now?”. My mom only can smile. Its broken me to see her like that, i want my mom proud of me but instead i am shaming her. I feel like i am a garbage.

You know...

Its not like i am relaxing or not doing anything, i have been work really hard to find a job but somehow its always messed up. I dont know what makes me like this. I always prepare everytime for job calling like for interview or psycho test, i always practice before i do that test. But somehow it always failed and i still dont know why. God is seriously trying to toying me.

All that kinds of things makes me feel lifeless  and stress every day.

I cant even sleep peacefully in every night.

I cant even taste my meal.

I cant even enjoy playing games anymore.

And i cant even have one f*cking day without getting depressed.

I am desperate for getting a job, its not about me but its about my family. I am not from a rich family which you can relax even when you dont have a job. My father is only the person who works for the family, my mother is housewives, i also have an elder brother but he already have his own family so I have some responsibility in here to make sure my two younger brothers are getting their education properly. I dont want them to get expelled just because we dont have any money.

Did i desperate?

Yes, i am..

Everyday you wake up in the morning, you would feel like ‘Ah, i am gonna through all this painful day again, when you’re friends and the boys within your age are doing their job meanwhile you are spending your time in home doing nothing’.

Every night i am crying thinking about what i should do, should i just ended this life by suicide? or what? I am trying not thinking about that but when you feel this everyday getting this depressed, you would be feel like what i feel right now. Ending this suffering quickly might be not a bad idea.

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I dont know whether i can be happy or not after Majikoi A5 released. At one side i am happy it released as i already wait it for 1 year but at another side, its really sad to think this can be the last release for majikoi VN series. and i must be honest to you guys that Majikoi VN is one of the reason why i am still alive. Hopefully Minatosoft keeps release this VN series.