KyStarking

31. Silly Love Songs

Bônus:

32.

33.

34.

35.

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/kynickstarking/813177535575752704/my-ranking-of-warblers-songs-from-what-i-like?source=share

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/kynickstarking/813178425987760128/my-ranking-of-warblers-songs-part-2-11-hey?source=share

21. Somewhere Only We Know

22. Sing

23. Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?

24. Bad (New Directions and Warbles)

25. Smooth Criminal (New Directions and Warblers)

26. Bills, Bills, Bills

27. What Kind Of Fool

28. Baby It's Cold Outside

29. My Sharona

30. Don't Cry For Me Argentina

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/kynickstarking/813177535575752704/my-ranking-of-warblers-songs-from-what-i-like?source=share

11. Hey, Soul Sister

12. Teenage Dream

13. Rise (New Directions and Warbles)

14. Take Me To Church (New Directions and Warbles)

15. Chandelier (New Directions and Warbles)

16. Stand

17. I Want You Back

18. Glad You Came

19. Live While We,re Young

20. When I Get You Alone

1. You spin me around

2. Misery

3. My Dark Side

4. Animal

5. Uptown Girl

6. Raise Your Glass

7. Tightrope

8. Whistle

9. Blackbird

10. Candles

[knights of walpurgis]

Tom Riddle: Do you want to go to the ball with me?

Alexi Avery: Me? Why me? Aren’t you going to invite a girl?

Tom: So?

Avery: So what?

Tom: Are you going or not?

Avery: I’m still trying to understand why I was chosen.

Tom: Because you were already here.

Avery: That doesn’t sound like a very romantic criterion.

Tom: I never promised romance.

Avery: Then what is it? Convenience?

Tom: Yes.

[knights of walpurgis]

Alexi Avery: Tom, help me learn so I can join the Quidditch team!

Tom Riddle: Avery, I don’t even like Quidditch.

Avery: Then learn with me.

Tom: No.

Avery: You’re my friend, you should support me.

Tom: I do support you… staying far away from a broom.

Avery: I’m not that bad!

Tom: Avery, the last time you got on a broom, you managed to fall, and the broom was completely still just a few meters off the ground.

Avery: It was the wind!

Tom: The only team you can join is the dramatic falling team.

Avery: Very funny. When I become a Seeker, you’ll regret it.

Tom: If you become a Seeker, I will personally write you a letter apologizing.

Avery: I get good grades in flying classes.

[knights of walpurgis]

Tom Riddle: …Can someone explain to me why there are six people in the same bed?

Alexi Avery: Sleepover.

Tom: A sleepover does not mean piling a bunch of people onto a single mattress.

Cadmus Mulciber: I brought pie.

Tom: Cadmus, pie does not solve space problems.

Cadmus: It solves a lot of things.

Lotus Rosier: Honestly, Tom, you should feel honored. Everyone wants to sleep near the great and powerful you.

Tom: I want to sleep far away from all of you.

Abraxas Malfoy: I wanted that too, but they convinced me. And they took the best pillow.

Avery: That was Corveyn.

Tom: …Corveyn doesn’t talk, doesn’t move, and somehow always wins.

Corveyn Lestrange: *curled up in the corner, hugging the pillow, staring at the ceiling*

Thaddeus Nott: Technically he got here first.

Tom: That doesn’t justify this… situation.

There’s an arm in my ribs.

A foot on my leg.

And who is breathing on my neck?

Lotus: Me.

Tom: Move away.

Lotus: How rude.

Cadmus: If anyone wants pie before going to sleep...

Tom: CADMUS, WHY IS THERE FOOD IN THE BED?

Cadmus: Nighttime emergency.

Abraxas: He also has cookies in his pocket.

Tom: Of course he does.

Avery: Tom, stop complaining and just lie down.

Tom: I am not going to sleep crushed between six people.

Thaddeus: Seven.

Tom: What?

Thaddeus: Erebus is here too.

*Corveyn’s raven makes a small “croak.”*

Tom: …There’s a raven in the bed.

Avery: He’s polite.

Tom: That is not the point.

Lotus: You can sleep on the floor, if you prefer.

Tom: I do not sleep on the floor.

Abraxas: Then stop complaining.

Tom: I am literally the only person here with common sense.

*silence*

Cadmus: Tom.

Tom: What?

Cadmus: If you leave, we’re going to eat your share of the pie.

Tom: …

Avery: And use your pillow.

Lotus: And probably talk badly about you.

Tom: …

Thaddeus: It’s also cold.

Tom: …

*Tom sighs irritably and lies down in the small space that’s left.*

Tom: This is humiliating.

Avery: Good night, Tom.

Cadmus: Good night.

Lotus: Good night, dear leader.

Abraxas: Good night.

Thaddeus: Good night.

Erebus: croak.

Corveyn: *pulls a bit of the blanket toward Tom without saying anything.*

[knights of walpurgis]

The smell of apple and cinnamon still lingered in the air. Cadmus Mulciber carried with him the result of his effort: a small round pie, a little uneven around the edges, with a golden crust that was slightly cracked.

He walked slowly, holding the plate with exaggerated care, as if it were a treasure. That was when he heard it. A muffled sound. It wasn’t loud sobbing. It was the kind of crying someone tried to swallow, silent, suffocated.

Cadmus tilted his head, curious, approaching the corner of the corridor. Tom Riddle was there. Sitting on the cold stone floor, leaning against the wall, knees drawn up. His face was partially hidden by the arm resting over them. His breathing faltered slightly, uneven. There were still tears caught in his lashes and a damp line running down his face.

But the moment he heard footsteps… Tom froze. He quickly wiped his face with a sharp motion, brushing the tears away. His expression changed almost instantly, the vulnerability disappearing as if it had never existed.

When he lifted his head, his eyes were still red, but the look had already returned to its usual coldness.

Cadmus appeared around the bend in the corridor. He blinked a few times, not quite understanding what was happening.

“Hi, Tom.”

Tom immediately looked away.

“Go away, Mulciber.”

His voice was low and rough. Cadmus stayed where he was. He looked at Tom, then at the pie in his hands, then back at Tom. His brain seemed to process everything with a delay.

“I made pie.”

Tom closed his eyes for a second, clearly irritated.

“Congratulations. Now go bother someone else.”

Cadmus took two more steps closer anyway. He carefully crouched down in front of Tom, placing the plate on the floor between them. Tom cast a sharp glance at the pie. The crust was imperfect. One side slightly burned. On top there was a small cut in a strange shape that clearly was supposed to be a heart… but looked more like a crooked diamond. Cadmus scratched the back of his neck.

“It was supposed to be… pretty.”

Tom let out a small dry laugh, almost without humor.

“You are unbearably stupid.”

Cadmus nodded, as if that were just a neutral comment.

“I know.”

Silence. Tom kept staring at the other side of the corridor. Cadmus took the small fork he had brought and cut a piece of the pie, offering it. Tom didn’t take it.

“I didn’t ask.”

“I know.”

“Then why did you bring it?”

Cadmus thought for a few seconds. Literally thought.

“Because you look sad.”

Tom slowly turned his head to stare at him. His red eyes were now hard.

“You saw nothing.”

Cadmus tilted his head.

“I saw a little.”

Tom took a slow breath through his nose, clearly trying to regain control.

“If you tell anyone...”

“I won’t.”

Cadmus answered so quickly that he cut Tom’s sentence in half.

He extended the fork again.

“Eat.”

Tom looked at the piece of pie. The silence lasted a few seconds. He looked irritated. Humiliated. Offended. But also… tired. Finally, Tom took the fork from Cadmus’s hand with a sharp movement.

“This is ridiculous.”

He put the piece in his mouth. Cadmus immediately became very attentive, as if he were waiting for the result of an important exam. Tom chewed. The crust was still warm. Sweet. With soft apple and cinnamon.

He finished chewing. Stayed silent. Cadmus leaned forward.

“Is it good?”

Tom stared at the wall.

“…It’s not horrible.”

Cadmus’s face lit up immediately.

“I almost burned it.”

Tom let out a tired sigh.

“I noticed.”

Cadmus cut another piece. Tom didn’t protest when he handed it over. They stayed there in the silent corridor, sharing the improvised pie. After a few minutes, Cadmus spoke again, casually:

“I made two.”

Tom frowned slightly.

“Why?”

Cadmus shrugged.

“Because I ate the first one.”

Tom looked at him. For a very brief moment, something almost resembling a smile tugged at the corner of Tom’s mouth. But he quickly turned his face away again.

[knights of walpurgis]

Abraxas Malfoy: So… we need to talk about something… delicate.

Cadmus Mulciber: You got someone pregnant?

Abraxas: WHAT?! No!

Cadmus: If it's pregnancy I have some sweets that help with nausea.

Lotus Rosier: Cadmus, please stop trying to solve everything with food.

Cadmus: Not everything. Just 87% of things.

Abraxas: Focus! I discovered some information… about Tom.

Alexi Avery: Did he kill someone?

Abraxas: No. The issue is… Tom… isn’t pure-blood.

*absolute silence*

Avery: …

Cadmus: …

Lotus: …

Corveyn Lestrange: *looks at everyone expressionlessly, petting the raven*

Avery: Wait. Say that again. I must have heard it wrong.

Abraxas: TOM IS NOT PURE-BLOOD.

Cadmus: Oh.

Avery: OH?! That’s all you’re going to say?!

Cadmus: I was waiting for someone to say it was a lie before I reacted.

Lotus: Fascinating. The supremacist leader is not biologically qualified to be a supremacist.

Avery: Lotus, this isn’t fascinating, this is an ideological disaster.

Abraxas: Exactly! We follow him because… well…

Avery: Because he’s scary.

Cadmus: Because he’s smart.

Lotus: Because he’s useful.

Thaddeus Nott: Because he’s handsome.

Abraxas: Because he’s pure-blood!

Avery: Was pure-blood.

Cadmus: Was… in the past tense.

Lotus: Technically he never was. We just believed he was.

Avery: That’s false advertising.

Cadmus: Can we ask for a refund?

Abraxas: THIS IS NOT A PRODUCT!

Cadmus: Then why does it feel like we bought a defective ideology?

Lotus: Honestly, this only proves Tom is even more impressive.

Avery: How so?

Lotus: A half-blood manipulating the aristocratic Slytherin elite. That’s political talent.

Abraxas: Lotus, you’re admiring the coup.

Lotus: I always admire a good coup.

Cadmus: I still follow him because he pays for dinner when we go out.

Avery: He doesn’t pay, Cadmus! We’re the ones who pay!

Cadmus: That’s true...

Abraxas: We need to decide what to do.

Avery: I’m going to confront him.

Lotus: You’re not going to confront him, remember what happened last time?!

Avery: Okay, I’ll confront him… mentally… in silence… very far away from him.

Cadmus: I think he already knows that we know.

Abraxas: HOW?

Cadmus: Because Avery shouted “HE’S NOT PURE-BLOOD?!” in the corridor ten minutes ago.

Avery: I WAS IN SHOCK!

Lotus: What a surprise.

*Corveyn continues in silence, watching the raven Erebus calmly peck at the table*

Avery: Corveyn, say something!

Corveyn: *stares at Avery for a few seconds… then goes back to petting the raven*

Cadmus: I think that means he doesn’t care. I thought “Riddle” was a pure-blood family name.

Lotus: Cadmus, it literally means “riddle.”

Cadmus: I thought it sounded elegant.

Abraxas: We’re drifting away from the subject!

Avery: Okay, important question.

Lotus: What?

Avery: Are we still following him?

*silence*

Cadmus: He’s still good at dueling.

Lotus: Still extremely dangerous.

Abraxas: Still terrifying.

Avery: Still has that “I will destroy your entire bloodline” look.

Thaddeus: And handsome.

Lotus: There, decision made.

[knights of walpurgis]

The dormitory window was open, letting the cold night air drift inside. The curtain moved slowly.

Lotus was leaning against the windowsill, his silhouette outlined by the faint light of the moon. Between his slender fingers, a lit cigarette burned slowly.

Tom watched from a nearby chair, dark eyes attentive to every movement.

Lotus took a slow drag, letting the smoke slip to the side before smiling slightly.

“You look at it as if it were something forbidden.”

Tom tilted his head a little.

“Maybe it is.”

Lotus laughed softly.

“Tom Riddle, afraid of a cigarette?”

He extended his hand, offering it.

“Try it.”

Tom hesitated for a second, more out of pride than curiosity, and then stood up. He approached slowly.

Lotus didn’t pull his hand away. On the contrary, he kept the cigarette suspended between them, his eyes fixed on Tom’s face.

“Don’t know how?” Lotus murmured.

Tom took the cigarette between his fingers, imitating the gesture he had seen.

“I’m not incompetent.”

Lotus stepped a little closer, almost invading his space. His voice came out soft, provocative.

“Then prove it.”

Tom brought the cigarette to his lips and inhaled the smoke.

The effect was immediate.

He coughed.

Lotus laughed, not loudly, but with clear amusement.

“Elegant.”

Tom narrowed his eyes at him, irritated.

“This is disgusting.”

Lotus tilted his head, amused.

“You inhaled it wrong.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Tom tried again, shorter this time. The smoke burned his throat the same way.

He made a slight grimace and handed the cigarette back.

“I don’t see the appeal.”

Lotus took it again, watching him with interest.

“Curious.”

He took a slow drag, releasing the smoke very close to Tom’s face.

“You enjoy so many dangerous things… and hate something so simple.”

Tom crossed his arms.

“Danger is useful. This is just unpleasant.”

Lotus took another drag, eyes half-lidded.

“Then it isn’t for you.”

He put the cigarette out on the windowsill and looked Tom up and down.

“But I must admit it was worth it.”

Tom arched an eyebrow.

“Why?”

Lotus smile, slow, calculated.

“Because you looked human for a few seconds.”

Tom fell silent.

Then he answered, as cold as ever:

“Don’t get used to it.”

[knights of walpurgis]

Lotus Rosier watches from a distance while Tom Riddle stands in the garden speaking quietly… to a bush.

A bush where a snake is hiding.

Lotus Rosier: …Tom.

Tom Riddle: (without looking) One moment.

Lotus: You are… arguing with a bush.

Tom: It’s not a bush.

Lotus: Of course. Forgive me. It’s a bush with whom you apparently have a very deep relationship.

Tom: It’s a snake.

Lotus: That helps a lot, thank you.

Tom: She was complaining.

Lotus: Ah, yes, of course.

Tom: Someone walked by and stepped on it.

Lotus: Horrible. A terrible crime against… the bush.

Tom: Lotus.

Lotus: Tom.

Tom: You are being irritating.

Lotus: I am trying to understand why you are whispering to the ground in a strange language.

Tom: I speak to snakes.

Lotus: Yes.

Tom: It’s a rare ability.

Lotus: Of course.

Tom: It’s called Parseltongue.

Lotus: Tom.

Tom: Yes?

Lotus: Do you realize how that sounds?

Tom: How?

Lotus: Like the justification of a man who has gone mad after spending too much time alone in libraries studying.

(The snake comes out of the bush and slithers to Tom’s foot.)

Lotus: …Tom.

Tom: Yes?

Lotus: There is a snake looking at me.

Tom: She said you look arrogant.

Lotus: She said that?

Tom: Yes.

Lotus: Tell her her opinion was not requested.

(Tom hisses back at the snake.)

(The snake goes away.)

Lotus: …what did you say?

Tom: That you are venomous too.

Lotus: Wonderful. Now I’m being judged by reptiles.

Tom: They like me.

Lotus: I can see that.

[knights of walpurgis]

It’s Tom Riddle’s birthday, and all his followers have given him expensive and important gifts, until Cadmus arrives with a sandwich.

Abraxas Malfoy: You gave a sandwich to a man who just received an ancestral gold watch.

Cadmus Mulciber: Oh… should I have added cheese too?

Lotus Rosier: I am absolutely fascinated by this situation.

Alexi Avery: You know what? This is amazing.

Thaddeus Nott: It’s the most honest gift in the room.

Avery: I agree.

Tom Riddle: …

Cadmus: Did you like it? 🥪

Tom: …

Cadmus: I made it myself.

"NO. NO. NO. GET THAT OFF THE SCREEN, JACK!"

Dean practically leapt over the couch when he saw what the kid had just clicked on.

Jack was pale, holding the laptop like it was a nuclear bomb.

"I was just looking for angel fanart, DEAN! How did I end up on this?" He was trembling. "I DIDN’T ASK TO SEE YOU TWO KISSING!"

"WHAT??" Sam turned around so fast he almost snapped his neck. "What is that exactly?"

Jack pointed at the screen with a shaking finger.

"Wincest." He swallowed hard. "Why does this exist? Why does this EXIST?"

Dean put his hands on his head, pacing in circles.

"I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna REALLY throw up. Who… who looks at that and thinks ‘Wow, two brothers, my favorite kink’?" He grimaced deeply. "Humanity is doomed."

Jack, traumatized, was accidentally reading the titles.

"‘Hot brother-on-brother action’?" he muttered, horrified. "'Sam/Dean smut'? What even IS smut?"

"CLOSE THAT TAB!" Dean yelled. "CLOSE IT! CLOSE IT! BURN THE LAPTOP!"

Sam, already on the verge of a meltdown:

"It even has AGE SPECIFICATIONS, Dean… AGE!"

In the middle of the absolute chaos, Adam walked into the room eating cereal, completely oblivious.

"What’s all the noise about?"

All three of them just pointed at the laptop like they’d seen actual hell.

Adam stepped closer, tilted his head, read two lines… and made a face that was equal parts disgust and curiosity.

"Okay. That’s… horrible. I agree. But…"

He frowned.

"Why doesn’t anyone write this with me?"

Dead silence.

Dean blinked slowly.

Sam stared at him with a “are you okay??” expression.

Jack nearly dropped the laptop.

"Adam…" Dean began, clearly struggling to form words. "ARE YOU UPSET BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT IN AN INCEST FANFIC?"

Adam shrugged.

"Well… kinda weird being the ‘other’ brother, y’know? You two have thousands of stories. I show up in like… two. And die. Lame."

Dean covered his face.

Sam threw his hands up.

"Dude… I’d put you in a fanfic, sure, but like… literally anything else. Not… this."

Adam crossed his arms, grumbling:

"At least a cameo I deserve. Or I dunno, a cool crossover. Doesn’t even have to be romance. I just wanna show up."

Dean took a deep breath.

"You know what?" He pointed at Adam. "I promise I’ll write a fanfic where you don’t die, don’t suffer, and don’t hook up with ANY brother. Happy?"

Adam’s face lit up.

"Really?"

"Really," Dean huffed. "Now, FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY, LET’S TURN OFF THE INTERNET."

Jack slammed the laptop shut.

Dean was in the bunker doing something extremely suspicious:

he was peeking from behind the kitchen door. Only his head sticking out.

Eyes wide. Breathing heavily.

Sam walked behind him with a towel over his shoulder and frowned.

“What are you doing?”

“Shhh!” Dean put a finger to his lips. “He’s in there.”

Sam sighed.

“Adam?”

“DON’T SAY HIS NAME OUT LOUD!” Dean whispered, terrified, like it would summon demons. “He might hear you.”

Sam crossed his arms.

“Dean… why are you afraid of Adam?”

Dean pulled him behind the door, like they were two undercover spies.

“Because we left him in the Cage for years, Sam! Years! Decades! The guy had enough time to plan like fifty thousand different revenge strategies!”

Sam raised an eyebrow.

“He’s been back for a while, Dean.”

“THAT’S WHAT WORRIES ME!” Dean whispered in a panic. “He’s too calm. He says good morning to me. Gives me coffee. Asked if I wanted pancakes. PANCAKES, SAM! That’s the kind of behavior you see right before someone poisons you!”

Sam held back a laugh.

“Or from someone who just wants to get along with his brothers?”

Dean shook his head violently.

“No. Nope. It’s classic. Quiet psychopath. Polite serial killer. He’s waiting for me to relax and BAM. Throws me into some portable cage he probably built in the basement.”

In the kitchen, Adam opened the fridge and shouted:

“Dean, want a beer?”

Dean went pale instantly.

“SEE?!” he whispered to Sam. “That sounds way too friendly. He’s seducing my trust!”

Sam ran a hand over his face.

“Dean… he’s not going to get revenge.”

Dean took a tense deep breath.

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

A door slammed in the background.

Dean jumped half a meter in the air, knocked over a pan, and hid behind Sam like his brother was a human shield.

Adam appeared holding a bag of chips.

“Dude, chill. I just went to get snacks.”

Dean, still hiding behind Sam, only let his eyes show.

Adam raised his eyebrows:

“Why are you hiding behind Sam?”

Sam opened his mouth to answer, but Dean spoke first:

“NO REASON! LOVE YOU, OKAY?! PLEASE DON’T KILL ME!”

Adam blinked.

“What?”

Michael, inside Adam’s mind, commented:

“I told you he was a coward.”

Adam couldn’t hold back a laugh.

“Dean… relax. I’m not gonna do anything to you.”

Dean narrowed his eyes, suspicious.

“Swear?”

Adam gave a little smile that did not help at all:

“Sure. For now.”

Dean screamed:

“SAM, HE SAID ‘FOR NOW’!!!”