How much it hurt standing right there, on the balcony of his two-story house, the thought of him getting married to another woman tomorrow was making your heart bleed. You leaned against the railing with a frown on your face, a glass of champagne in your hand and your eyes throwing daggers at the moon. Simon decided to invite all Task Force 141 for a drink the night before the big day, you could hear them all laughing and cheering downstairs in the living room, but you couldnât even put a small smile on your lips.
You loved him and he loved you back, you thought things could still work between the two of you, he thought differently. He didnât know how to show his love, his care, it hurt you and he knew it perfectly, thatâs why he decided to break things off with you. And now? After one year you still havenât moved on and now he was going to marry another woman. You heard someone clear his voice and immediately turned around, Simon was there with his hands clasped behind his back, his eyes staring deeply at yours, âshym.. Why are you here alone?â He asked, his tone holding a little sadness.
You let out a scoff before turning your gaze down towards the garden, watching a couple of butterflies landing perfectly on the grass, âbecause Iâd rather not be around for this,â you muttered, the grip on your glass of champagne tightening. He sighed and walked closer to you, joining you in standing against the railing of the balcony and keeping a respectful distance.
âYouâre invited, why would you not want to be here?â He asked with a raised eyebrow before letting his gaze drop on you. You rolled your eyes and drank half of the liquid from your glass before replying, âBecause I donât want to watch my ex-boyfriend getting married to another woman.â You murmured with bitterness in your tone.
âEven though weâre still colleagues, I cannot just act like I donât care Simon..â I took a big chug of my wine before looking down to the grass
His eyes softened as he realized how you truly felt about the situation, he could blame nobody but himself. He was the stupid one. He let out another heavy sigh and leaned against the railing, his shoulders dropping and his body slightly falling forward, as if a weight was on his shoulders, âI know-â he paused and closed his eyes before continuing, âbut the decision has been taken.â
âWhy mia⌠why her Simon what was so special about her that overshadowed me?â
âYou want me to tell you why did I choose her?â He asked and you could just hear how tired and frustrated his voice was. You turned your head to look at him and saw how tired he looked, probably tired from hearing the same question for the past few weeks after he told you that he was going to marry her and not you, âyes,â you said in a stern voice, âwhy her and not me?â
Simon thought for a split second âMia, she was someone who saved my life, kept me company while I was almost dying on that battlefield..and we just fell for eachother, I couldnât let that eat me up.â
Your heart dropped as Simon spoke, he fell for her while you were waiting for him here. You felt a pang of jealousy and anger towards her just from hearing the words leaving his mouth. You turned your body fully towards him and narrowed your eyes at his face.
âYou fell for her on the battlefield?â You asked in disbelief, âwhile I was here waiting and worrying for you?â
He slowly nodded his head. âYou donât understand, she kept me company while I was in my lowest point during those days on the battlefield, I-â he paused and licked his lips as he remembered those days where he didnât give a damn if he lived or died and he was close to death so many times, yet Mia was there, taking care of him and talking to him as he just laid there, unable to speak or move.
Your eyes widened in shock and slight anger. âYou donât think I understood that?â You exclaimed, âSimon I was there for you too, I was texting you, calling you, worrying about your state every night!â You paused as you felt your eyes starting to heat âI was praying that youâd come back safely, that youâd come back home to me, but-â you bit the inside of your cheek and took a deep breath as you tried not to yell at him, âbut no- Instead you fell in love with another woman.â
He could basically hear your voice breaking as you spoke and his heart ached every second. âI know-â he tried to speak up, but you didnât let him, the last drop of rage finally hit you and you snapped at him.
âYou know? Then why!? Why didnât you choose me? Didnât you love me like you love her!? Didnât you care for me like you care for her!?â You yelled at him, not being able to hold your emotions back now.
âOf course I did! You know I did!â He yelled back as he lifted his head and clenched his jaw, his hazel eyes staring deeply into yours. You looked straight into his eyes and felt a tear run down your cheek, âThen why?â You asked in a weak voice, âif you loved me and cared about me why didnât you choose me instead?â
Another sigh escaped his lips and he rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. âBecause itâs different with her!â He yelled back and he saw how another tear fell from your eye. He was hurting you, but he didnât know how to explain you why it was different, âI donât know how to explainâ he spoke in a much calmer tone and leaned against the railing again, âsheâs just different..â
I nodded âah yes, because she never made mistakes, she was soft, loving and caring..â I paused âand I always did the opposite. Because I am harsh, an ex maffia member, someone who was obsessed with the thrill of life or death, money..â I looked at him angrily âis that the reason?â
Simon stayed silent for a few moments, thinking about your words. He knew that what you were saying was completely true, you have never been the soft or gentle type of woman, you could never love him as fiercely as Mia did. He lowered his gaze to his feet for a second and bit his lower lip before replying. âIt is part of the reason-â
Your heart shattered even more as he confirmed your thoughts. âThatâs exactly why isnât it?â You said in an almost inaudible whisper. âShe loves you like a real lover should do.. while I do the opposite..â you muttered almost to yourself.
You chuckled humorlessly and shook your head, looking up at the night sky to hold your tears from falling down your face. âAnd the other reasons..?â You whispered, knowing you were stepping into a minefield.
He took a deep breath and let it out before answering your question. âItâs a.. lot of reasons actually.â He said in a much calmer voice than before. He could see and hear the pain in your voice and it made him want to comfort you, but he couldnât do that. Not anymore. Not after everything.
âThen name them.â You looked at him again, holding back all the emotions that were swirling in your brain, âtell me all the reasons that made you fall out of love for me and fall in love with her.â
He grunted and closed his eyes for a second before looking into your eyes again âfirst reason, the one you already guessed, is her nature. Sheâs sweet, gentle, kind, loving, she takes care of me when I need it.â He said in a low voice, his eyes locked into yours.
âSecond,â he paused as he leaned forward and his body was now facing you fully, âshe knows when to stop arguing and when to give in, sheâs not stubborn like you.â He said without thinking and winced slightly.
He knew that the next reasons were going to rip you apart, thatâs why he was taking time to give the perfect answer. âSheâs not some mobster and a con.â He said in a cold tone as he looked up at you again.
Your eyes widened in shock when he spoke, you couldnât believe that part of the reason was the fact that you were once a mafia member. âYou-â you spoke in a weak voice âyouâre using my past as a reason?â You let out a humorless chuckle and shake your head.
âDonât act surprised,â he said in a dry tone âyouâre a criminal. A con woman and now an ex mobster.â He crossed his arms over his chest and slightly lifted his chin, staring into your eyes with a blank expression, âwhat do you expect?â
His cold words and expression felt like daggers into your heart and you closed your eyes momentarily to hold back your tears. âI know what I was, but I never expected you to use it against me.â You said in a quiet voice.
âYou know how I was forced in that and the horrific situations I experienced and needed to endure..â
He bit his lip and his body tensed when you spoke about your past, he remembered hearing your stories more than once. He knew it was cruel to use that against you, but he just wanted you to understand, âYes I do..â he said in a serious and firm voice âand thatâs another part of the problem.â
âI donât want to hear it anymore Simon⌠I couldnât get over you because I love you.. or well loved you.â A tear welled up in my eye âyou just proved me why I should not even want to speak to you again.â
He clenched his jaw when he saw the tear rolling down your face and closed his eyes tightly. He wanted to reach over and wipe the tear off your face, his hands were itching to feel your skin again, but he knew he couldnât touch you. This was already too painful for both of you. He looked at you again and saw how much pain you were in. âI didnât want to hurt you,â he said in a low tone, âI just wanted you to understand..â
âUnderstand your bullshit reasons to marry another woman,â you whispered and wiped the tear off your face with the back of your hand. You couldnât take this anymore, hearing him give you so many reasons why he wonât choose you was slowly killing you.
He flinched slightly when you cursed, he also couldnât stand seeing you in pain like that. âThose same bullshit reasons are the ones Iâm choosing her over YOU!â He snapped. He was losing control of his emotions hearing you speak and seeing your hurting expression.
âThen why are you still trying to explain them to me?â You spoke, feeling your anger rise as well, getting tired of his attitude. âYou already chose her, youâre going to marry her tomorrow, then why are you wasting your time to explain me something you shouldnât?!â
He let out a scoff and leaned more towards you, âBecause I donât want you to think that Iâm only doing this out of spite! Iâm in love with her okay?! And Iâm going to marry her because I want to, I want to spent the rest of my life with her!â He yelled at you, letting out all his bottled up emotions.
I just stayed silent and looked at the stars in the sky before turning my face back to him âthen I wish you well in live Simon.â And I walked downstairs towards the door
His heart sank when you walked away like that, you just stopped fighting, you just gave up. âThatâs it?â He said in disbelief before he started walking after you, closing the distance between the two of you in a few strong steps. He grabbed your arm and stopped you from walking.
He turned you around so that you would be facing him and held your arm firmly to prevent you from walking away from him. He stared into your eyes as he spoke, his voice low. âThatâs it?â he repeated, âyouâre just leaving? Not even going to fight for me?â
You felt like your emotions were about to explode anytime now, he had no right to speak like that. âWhat the hell do you want me to do?!â You almost shouted, looking him straight in the eyes, âwhat more am I supposed to say!? You donât want me, you chose another woman! Iâm not going to fight when itâs already lost.â
He tightened his jaw and his grip on your arm. He didnât know why he was so upset when you said those words. He shouldâve been happy that you gave up, but he wanted to see the feisty woman that never surrender, he wanted you to fight for him. But the words you were saying to him made his heart ache. You were giving up on him, you just accepted that he was marrying another woman.
His expression softened when he saw more tears in your eyes and he slowly loosened his grip on your arm, holding it gently now. He took a deep breath and looked into your eyes, his voice calm. âSay something. Yell at me, tell me Iâm a bastard, that you hate me. Anything.â
You inhaled a shaky breath and tried to hold back your tears. Seeing him like this made your heart ache as well, but you knew you had to be strong, âWhat for? Do you want me to humiliate myself and beg you to pick me? Beg you that you will see how much I love you?â
âWell guess what Simon, I want you to thrive in your upcoming marriage and I donât want to be seen as an obstacle, I donât want to see you again Simon..â and I walked out the door and shut it close
And at that moment I felt like I lost myself, lost control. I called Shepard to surrender myself from the army and called an old friend of mine.
I called Amanda âshym is that really you? Girl weâve missed you so much!â
Amandaâs excited tone on the other side of the phone made your heart clench slightly, you missed your old friend. A lot.
âHow is angels palace doing Amanda? I want to come back. I miss everyone..â
âOh weâre all good but we all miss your presence!â Amanda said in a cheerful tone âCome back here you crazy bitch, we all miss our queen.â
I smiled as tears welled up in my eyes again âso my dad isnât angry at me leaving him?â
âYeah heâs still sulking about itâ said Amanda before bursting into laughter âitâs kinda funny whenever someone mentions you, he just puffs like an angry child. But I know and everyone knows that secretly heâs missing your smartass comebacks.â
âAnd most of all his backbone, you were thriving and making us a lot of money, you need to come back.. Sol.â
A chuckle escaped your lips when she used your old name, nobody called you like that anymore. âStop it, youâre making me miss that place even more. I swear to God if I get home and I donât see my favorite drink at the bar Iâm going to strangle your ass.â
âMy flight leaves at 9 AM, Iâll see you around 7 PM in the evening alright?â
âPerfect, just be prepared to drink tons of my good old cocktails.â Amanda said and you could sense the excitement in her voice.
I drove home and instantly packed all my belongings and my cat, couldnât leave the poor guy behind. I left my keys in the plant pot and put a note for my tenant that I payed last month rent and Iâve moved out.
After everything was in your bags and the car, you sat down in the driverâs seat and drove straight to the airport. You were already excited to see your old home again and meet your old friends, but your heart still ached from the whole Simon situation.
You checked in your bag and sat down in the waiting area for your flight. People were all around you, walking, chatting, all seemed normal. But you felt heavy and tired, you couldnât get Simonâs face out of your head. You closed your eyes to rest for a moment.
You were awakened by the announcement on the speakers that your flight was about to start boarding up. You slowly opened your eyes and stood up from your sit, grabbing your bags. You slowly made your way to the boarding desk, showing the worker your ticket before making your way onto the plane.
Time to go back to bogota..
You made your way to your seat at the plane and strapped the seatbelt around your waist. You inhaled a deep breath and closed your eyes for a moment, trying not to think about Simon.
âHeâs marrying that stuck up doctor today, I hope everything goes well for themâ I thought
Even thinking that made your heart ache. You hated the thought of him marrying another woman. You took a deep breath and took out your headphones, deciding to play some music to distract yourself.
The flight seemed long, but at least the loud music was helping you to distract from your thoughts. You were listening to some of your favorite songs when the pilot announced your arrival to Bogota.
Back in London it was Simon, trying to call you multiple times since yesterday
He sat alone in his kitchen with his head resting on his crossed forearms. He hasnât slept and he had bags under his eyes. He picked his phone up again and called your number, hoping that this time you would answer.
He tapped his foot on the floor anxiously and held his breath, listening to the beeping. But then he heard your voicemail again, causing his expression to tense up. He growled in irritation and was about to throw the phone but he quickly stopped himself and called your number again.
He impatiently waited for your voice but heard your voicemail again. He let out another loud sigh and leaned against his chair, covering his face with one of his hands. He was getting fed up, why werenât you answering?
He dropped his hands from his face and looked at Soap who was grinning widely. He let out a scoff and rolled his eyes with annoyance, âYeah Iâm marrying her today, not even a bloody congratulations?â
Soap scoffed as well and shook his head, âI wouldnât compliment your choice mate and you know thatâ he said and sat down next to him, patting his shoulder âare you actually going through with this?â
He leaned back in his seat and avoided eye contact with Soap, he ran his fingers through his hair. âWhy wouldnât I?â He asked in a rough tone, âsheâs the one Iâm marrying in a couple of hours remember?â
Soap narrowed his eyes at him âbecause you havenât slept at all, and you havenât even spoken to your fiancĂŠ since yesterdayâ he said in a suspicious tone, he knew his friend well and knew that something was wrong.
He averted his gaze from Soap and clenched his jaw. He hadnât spoken to her, he had called her multiple times but you werenât answering him, which irritated him even more. He hated the fact that he was having second thoughts and he hated the fact that you still had such an effect on him. âIâm just stressed about the whole marriage situation.â He lied.
Soap chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest, âYou, stressed? Youâre one of the most calm and composed guys I knowâ he said in a disbelieving tone, he knew he was hiding something.
He let out a loud scoff and finally looked up at Soap, his expression still tense âeven I can get stressed sometimes Soap. Can you just cut me some slack for now?â
Soap raised his hands in defense and gave him a smirk, âAlright mate settle down, was just messing with youâ he said and gave him a playful pat on his shoulder âbut seriously, are you alright?â
He inhaled a shaky breath and leaned his head back to rest on his chair. He had never opened up to anyone about something like that before. But Soap was his close friend and he trusted him the most out of everyone. He let out a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling âNo, Iâm not.â He admitted slowly.
âItâs shym.â He said bluntly
Soapâs eyebrows knotted together in confusion âshym? What about her?â He asked in disbelief.
He let out a tired exhale and closed his eyes. He ran his fingers through his hair before looking at Soap âShe just wonât leave my mind, every time I try to stop thinking about her sheâs still thereâ he admitted, he felt relieved that he was finally telling someone about how he felt, especially Soap who was his best friend.
âYou still love shym donât you..â he said firmly
He stayed silent for a moment, his expression tense. He slowly looked up at Soap and nodded âyeah, I still love her, more than anyone in the worldâ he admitted in a firm tone âI never stopped loving her.â
Soap raised his eyebrows in surprise. Out of all the possibilities of why his friend was so distracted, he didnât expect his to say that. âThen why are you marrying another woman?â He asked in disbelief.
Simon looked at soap âbecause I also love Mia, a lot.. and sheâs a better option.â
Soap let out a scoff and rolled his eyes, âHow the hell is she a better option? Mate, youâre marrying a woman that you donât even love that much, instead of the woman you truly love, do you even hear yourself right now?â
He looked away and clenched his jaw stubbornly âMia is everything I need. She doesnât distract me with her stupidity, she actually supports me and is there for me. Sheâs everything I needâ he said as he tried to convince himself it was the truth.
Soap rolled his eyes and stood up from his chair, âThatâs such bullshit mate and you know it.â He said in an annoyed tone, âYou canât marry a woman thatâs not the one that you truly love. Canât you just pull your head out of your ass and admit that you love shym?â
âItâs already too late, shym left with no trace.. I said some hurtful stuff yesterday and no one can find her now..â
Soapâs eyes widened in surprise and his heart ached for his friend. He didnât want to believe that it was already too late. He walked back towards him and placed his hand on his shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze âShe canât have disappeared like that, she must be somewhere..â
And now i returned to the hotel a coverup for a secret organization that trades and smuggles drugs and other stuff.
As you walked into the palace you saw many people who were close to your family or that you had done business with before. They all looked surprised but somewhat happy to see that you had returned. As soon as your father saw you, he exclaimed and spread his arms wide open before pulling you into a tight and emotional embrace.
âFamily! My backbone has returned!â
All the people in the room clapped and cheered as you appeared. Your father kept his arm around your shoulders and held you close to him as he spoke out to everyone in the room. âMy daughter has finally returnedâ he said in a proud tone, âI missed her so much, I cannot believe that she has returned to us, my family is finally reunited once more!â
PART 2 SOON


















