Hey so clearly this argument needs more context because A Lot of people aren't well educated about allergies.
Please read this, I'm not trying to shame or insult anyone. I've worked in food service and I have loved ones with life threatening allergies, and what I've learned is that most people just aren't taught much about them and don't come across in-depth information casually. So, it's one of those things that you don't know unless someone bothers to really explain, but it's actually really important to learn about because often someone's life may depend on you knowing this.
Some allergens are airborne. Meaning that the proteins which cause the allergic reactions can be in the particulates that come off of the food (the same thing that allows you to smell it, allows the allergen to be inhaled). Nuts and seafood are some of the most severe ones, but not the only examples.
This means it is not at all like a diabetic expecting others not to eat sugar, or a vegan demanding you don't eat meat. A person asking you not to eat an allergen near them is doing so because proximity to the allergen can kill them. An allergy is not a preference, it is not another way of saying you don't like something, it is the term for a type of potentially life threatening illness.
Important to note: Different allergens have different effects, and even the same allergen can range in severity. Dust and pollen making someone tear up and sneeze is a type of allergic reaction, and someone being exposed to shrimp and having their throat close up, going into shock, and dying is another form of allergic reaction. Some people with a mild nut allergy might only have issues if they consume some, and even then it might not be life threatening, while someone with a severe nut allergy could get a lethal reaction just from airborne particles or residue. You can't assume that you know someone else's limits just because you're familiar with your own allergies and reactions.
Allergies are not curable and they are not stress induced. Calming down about it will not lessen a reaction. Allergy medications may reduce the reaction, and some can fight anaphylaxis enough to save your life if you're lucky and take it in time but there is nothing someone with a life threatening allergy can take to prevent reaction entirely, and reacure medications aren't always enough to prevent death. Allergies are a lifelong, incurable illness like diabetes, but they cannot be managed through diet and preventative medication. They're at the mercy of environmental exposures.
Nobody is telling you what to eat in your own space, or what you can order at a restaurant. This is an issue of shared spaces where someone can't just leave if someone opens a bag of peanuts. Especially on an airplane, which is small and sealed off and thousands of feet in the air with no way of just stopping and letting you off in an emergency, if someone is exposed to an allergen in those circumstances they very realistically could die. (this also applies to any kind of public transit and waiting areas. you're asked not to smoke at bus stops because other people who need the transit and have asthma or certain allergies could go into severe respiratory distress).
Sometimes not travelling by plane isn't an option. People with allergies do take responsibility for their own health, to the fullest extent possible without living in a hazmat suit, but sometimes that responsibility can't extend beyond begging the people around them not to expose them to poison. Notifying the passengers and crew was the most responsibility she could possibly take, because her life threatening illness is vulnerable to environmental factors that she has no control over. But sometimes you still need to get on a plane, and beg and pray that nobody chooses to kill you.
Now, I'm actually begging you to explain this to as many people as you can, especially the ones who are callous about shit like this, because changes are they genuinely don't know the full range of allergies or what anaphylaxis actually is. The more people know about allergies, the more likely people with allergies are to survive. Thank you.
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