Kwriterposts

The stars twinkle in the blossoming twilight sky, so enriched in light that the goddess of love would of looked glib in comparison. The lonely girl looked at the dark twinkling sky in anger as she searched for the stars that had been shown to her long ago.

"See these stars?" He had asked.

"These two stars could have been placed anywhere in the sky but fate chose this specific place in the entire black oblivion of the universe to set them, these stars are us and our love shines as bright as a thousand suns put together." He said looking at her in earnest. At the time she had thought nothing of it, deeming it a romantic speech to sway her feelings ( Though they had always been swayed for him), however as they fell more in love she had realised that they could never be.

She was the personification of love whereas he was the personification of heartbreak, therefore it was only a matter of time before they destroyed each other. Knowing this they decided to break apart, becoming two separate entities only meeting once every ten years. Though they may have to part, the stars made sure that they would love each other unconditionally.

I was sitting down in the living room, minding my own business when you started talking. You were saying that I wasn't myself and that I've been really defensive these past few days. I got up and went to my room wondering where I had gone wrong. How I had let that mask of happy and carefree feelings slip?

We met in primary school and became fast friends. Then we separated in high school as we both went our separate ways but shockingly never lost touch. Then I introduced you to my friends and you introduced me to your friends, yet we never fell apart. Now though nearly seven years after meeting you, I feel like more of an acquaintance than a best friend. We meet up and talk yet its never about the important things. I’m in you and your friends group chat but I never talk, why should I when no one ever replies. 

Then a massive situation arose between you and one of my friends, a situation that leaves me in a corner, I can either take her side or yours and sometimes I can’t see a way out. Then I remember comments that were made by you that whilst were probably meant from a good place, never fail to hurt. I used to love you as a sister and now perhaps I just love you as a friend. I can’t say but I am aware that one day I might say something that I regret and I wonder if you can ever forgive me for it.

As I turned to look towards the future -my future to be exact- I saw all of my doors close. Everything I'd ever dreamed of being; a dancer, an artist, an actress... all of those dreams were shut down by words like 'your not good enough' and 'maybe you should try something different'. Words that are perceived as simple to most but can seem so harsh to a teenager who is looking forward to living a successful life. I have been chased down by monsters that would make a normal persons skin crawl. Monsters that keep me up at night scared to sleep in case something happens to me or the people I love. Monsters that make touch and loud noises impossibly painful. People of all ages experience these monsters but those who have never experienced these monsters can't possibly understand. For teenagers these monsters are increased tenfold through pressures put on them by uncaring governments and overbearing parents who care too much.

So many have lost their lives because they saw no way out, because no gave them the support they needed and as such, a new door opened for me. I know I'm not good enough and I know that my mother does not want me to go through the door I have made. Rather than going through a pre-made door that has been chosen for me, I choose to create my own. No one else, not even the monsters can make me choose my future. This is my generation, my future and I refuse to be told how to live my own life by people who live in the past.