FEAR

In longing, you feel fear. You're uncertain and wary of what your feelings may betray you to. You don't enjoy the feeling of not being in control of your own self, you ask, "why can't I just stop?" There's a cold feeling in your chest, your hands become clammy, you know you behold this desire too strongly, but the feeling goes nowhere. Rationally you think, "this desire is foolish and I don't need it," but that doesn't work for long. Secretly you yearn for that you seek, trying to hide it even from your own self, fearing that if you even let yourself know what you crave, nothing will be the same. Sometimes it's lonely. Sometimes you wish you could tell someone.... anything. You reference it vaguely in conversations, a joke that only makes sense to you, but is actually the longing veiled in fear. Your desire is forbidden, unattainable, by your own standards or someone else's, but it lurks in the back of your mind, persistent, deafening in the way that silence often is. Fear not my love, take a deep breath. You will find your peace.

FRUSTRATION

In longing, you feel frustration. You feel that you've almost reached your desire one too many times and you don't understand why you keep getting denied. You feel the universe is taunting you, playing just beyond your reach and leaving you on the brink of breaking every time it dances away. When you let yourself feel your yearning, you bury your face in your hands and turn to look at the sky, not expecting an answer, but pleading for relief. There's a burn in your heart that you just can't explain in words but it's deep, you can feel it in your throat and just under your chest. You take a deep breath and exhale heavily. It settles you enough to continue on as you were. You see others living your desire and you don't feel jealous per se, but the burn raises in intensity and you just wish... something. You want change from your current situation, at this point, you don't really care what it is, just... something. Have courage my dear, you can brave the fires of this world if you so wish.