KM

I want you to hold my hand while we grocery shop. I want you to play with my hair while we watch our favorite tv shows. I want you to kiss me in the middle of my sentence because you wanted to taste my words. I want you to rub my back as we fall asleep. I want you to play my favorite song when I look sad. I want you to do these things without having to think about them. Do them because you love me.

The only person I’m recovering from is myself.

I still have bad days… Days when ‘happiness’ seems more like a mirage than a destination. Every time I seem to get close to it, it jumps further away again just out of reach. Sometimes it feels like I’ll never get there… Like I’ll never be okay. But when I look behind me at everything I’ve been through, I see how far I’ve come. I see the pain I endured and the inner demons I battled to get where I am now and I KNOW without question that I’m never going back. And if I’m not going back - then that only leaves forwards … And that’s when I turn around and keep going. I’ve come too far give up because of one bad day. Bad days end. New days begin…. and tomorrow will be better.

…I long so much to make beautiful things. But beautiful things require effort — and disappointment and perseverance.