I work at an all girl’s summer camp, and here’s some real things that the camp counselors have actually said: SENTENCE STARTERS EDITION
feel free to edit for pronouns/tense etc. strong language, sexual / adult themes, tw: vomit.
“I don’t function whether I have sleep or not.”
“We just need to marinate his personality a little bit.”
“Oh no, there’s no one to hold my hand!”
“Sounds like that’s not my job.”
“Can you automate me a sandwich?”
“There are two types of people in this world: counselors and peasants.”
“There’s a serpent in my footwear.”
“Emotional trauma is fun.”
“I have many talents. Most of them are completely useless.”
“Do you feel reduced, reused, and recycled?”
“Well that sounds like a fucking lie.”
“I don’t instigate. I just participate.”
“When I go to craft stores, I blackout.”
“Flip flops are the bread of the foot.”
“There’s a whole lot of hip and not a lot of hop.”
“I’m going to die somehow, and if it’s from salmonella from eating raw cookie dough, then so be it.”
“I have a great Shakira impersonation.”
“Maybe they’ll learn if they lose a couple of fingers.”
“I care more about the content of their character than the pizazz in their pants.
“My hip is not used to this motion.”
“I can’t believe I put a bra on for that.”
“She has the balance of a newborn deer.”
“I’m literally a fuckboy.”
“Hey look, cute boys! Oh, they’re not cute, but at least they’re still boys.”
“Shit is usually going downhill by now.”
“Two months ago, you did something stupid.”
“Is this a science camp or a prostitution camp?”
“You scared the juice out of her.”
“I am NEVER having kids!”
“This is my uterus talking.”
“I’m not above throwing hands with a seventh grader.”
“I have a 670 day streak on Snapchat with my Mom.”
“My grandma just screams all the time.”
“We can all starve, and then it’s free!”
“It kind of feels like I’m in purgatory.”
“Are you sure the epi-pen is only as needed?”
“I feel like I’m always living in a vine.”
“There has been nothing born of this womb.”
“I feel like I’m dying, but someone set me on fire, but like, in a good way.”
“I cry myself to sleep every single night.”
“I aspire to be not poor.”
“There’s no such thing as too cool for school when you’re paying tuition.”
“Surprise! I’m fully clothed.”
“We’re having problems with the girls having sass.”
“Why does my boob keep getting touched this week?”
“I’ll baby bird vomit into your mouth.”
“Did someone touch my butt?”
“Wow, you really are lonely.”
“What would Abraham Lincoln think about that?”
“They were boy scouts, not man scouts.”
“Gift wrapping is my shit.”
“I am not caffeinated…that is a lie.”
“I’ve had to pee since 2015.”
“I’m going to pour some cow’s milk into my mouth straight from the teat.”
“I just posted on Instagram; go like it, you bitch.”
“Most people cry when I walk into the room.”
“What if Pop Sockets were for toes?”
“That feedback is not very timely.”
“I don’t even know what World War 2 was.”
“Pics or it didn’t happen.”
“That sounds like a personal problem.”
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