“You were lazying around again weren’t you kirito-kun?”
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@kuroxken
“You were lazying around again weren’t you kirito-kun?”

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One of my fav loops
I work at an all girl’s summer camp, and here’s some real things that the camp counselors have actually said: SENTENCE STARTERS EDITION
feel free to edit for pronouns/tense etc. strong language, sexual / adult themes, tw: vomit.
“I don’t function whether I have sleep or not.”
“What is tea?”
“We just need to marinate his personality a little bit.”
“Oh no, there’s no one to hold my hand!”
“Sounds like that’s not my job.”
“Can you automate me a sandwich?”
“I am irate.”
“There are two types of people in this world: counselors and peasants.”
“There’s a serpent in my footwear.”
“Emotional trauma is fun.”
“I have many talents. Most of them are completely useless.”
“Settle down, Satan.”
“Do you feel reduced, reused, and recycled?”
“Well that sounds like a fucking lie.”
“I don’t instigate. I just participate.”
“When I go to craft stores, I blackout.”
“I’m not dead…yet.”
“Flip flops are the bread of the foot.”
“There’s a whole lot of hip and not a lot of hop.”
“Soda is spicy.”
“I’m going to die somehow, and if it’s from salmonella from eating raw cookie dough, then so be it.”
“I have a great Shakira impersonation.”
“Maybe they’ll learn if they lose a couple of fingers.”
“I care more about the content of their character than the pizazz in their pants.
“My hip is not used to this motion.”
“I can’t believe I put a bra on for that.”
“She has the balance of a newborn deer.”
“I’m literally a fuckboy.”
“Hey look, cute boys! Oh, they’re not cute, but at least they’re still boys.”
“Shit is usually going downhill by now.”
“Two months ago, you did something stupid.”
“I made a difference.”
“You tried.”
“Is this a science camp or a prostitution camp?”
“You scared the juice out of her.”
“I am NEVER having kids!”
“This is my uterus talking.”
“I’m not above throwing hands with a seventh grader.”
“I have a 670 day streak on Snapchat with my Mom.”
“My grandma just screams all the time.”
“We can all starve, and then it’s free!”
“It kind of feels like I’m in purgatory.”
“Are you sure the epi-pen is only as needed?”
“I feel like I’m always living in a vine.”
“There has been nothing born of this womb.”
“I feel like I’m dying.”
“I feel like I’m dying, but someone set me on fire, but like, in a good way.”
“I cry myself to sleep every single night.”
“I aspire to be not poor.”
“There’s no such thing as too cool for school when you’re paying tuition.”
“Surprise! I’m fully clothed.”
“We’re having problems with the girls having sass.”
“SEX?!”
“Why does my boob keep getting touched this week?”
“I’ll baby bird vomit into your mouth.”
“Did someone touch my butt?”
“Wow, you really are lonely.”
“I don’t care for that.”
“What would Abraham Lincoln think about that?”
“They were boy scouts, not man scouts.”
“Gift wrapping is my shit.”
“I am not caffeinated…that is a lie.”
“I’ve had to pee since 2015.”
“I’m going to pour some cow’s milk into my mouth straight from the teat.”
“I just posted on Instagram; go like it, you bitch.”
“Most people cry when I walk into the room.”
“What if Pop Sockets were for toes?”
“That feedback is not very timely.”
“I don’t even know what World War 2 was.”
“Pics or it didn’t happen.”
“That sounds like a personal problem.”
x
“Let me __ you.”
Finish in my ask!

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startracings:
“You seem like you’ve been distracted lately. Maybe a little upset? Is… Everything alright?”
“Upset? Come on that’s ridiculous I am just...ya know being normal old Kirito...”
startracings:
@kuroxken
“Kirito, are you alright? You seem a little… distant.”
“Distant? W..What are you talking about?”
“You were lazying around again weren’t you kirito-kun?”
One of my fav loops

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
* JOHN MULANEY ; THE COMEBACK KID.
❛ we’ve all gone too big too fast and then run out of the room. ❜ ❛ block letters and cursive look good together! ❜ ❛ yeah, but the past is the past. ❜ ❛ i mean we’re all violent here, but you’re very friendly. ❜ ❛ i don’t give off that vibe. ❜ ❛ you could pour soup in my lap and i’ll probably apologize to you. ❜ ❛ i’m so open and vulnerable. ❜ ❛ i love saying “my wife”, it sounds so adult. ❜ ❛ marriage is gonna be very magical. ❜ ❛ ooh, who’s that fella? i bet he did kill his wife. ❜ ❛ how could another person kill someone? ❜ ❛ i’m not gonna do it, but i totally get it. ❜ ❛ it’s creepy to have an ex out there after things have ended badly. ❜ ❛ anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents has to die. ❜ ❛ that’s not even a situation. ❜ ❛ hey, you seen any loose milk? ❜ ❛ i don’t know if you can tell that from the… everything about me. ❜ ❛ … and a hush falls over the room. ❜ ❛ isn’t it weird how that became a scandalous thing? ❜ ❛ it was just some boring shit i had to do on weekends. ❜ ❛ aw, she’s ugly! ❜ ❛ wouldn’t you give like a million dollars to see that wedding video? ❜ ❛ ‘cause you know how you lie to your parents? ❜ ❛ what? huh? what? when? when? ❜ ❛ let’s see, what problems can we solve? ❜ ❛ that’s not how you talk. ❜ ❛ let’s change it to trick ___. ❜ ❛ it’s like having a baby that’s also a grandma. ❜ ❛ oh, the things i have seen, you cocksucker. ❜ ❛ ___ is my best friend in the world, i give her a million kisses a day. ❜ ❛ you are no longer the alpha of the house. ❜ ❛ look upon your sovereign, ___, and tremble! ❜ ❛ it’s haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash. ❜ ❛ i love real estate agents. i mean, they are the true heroes. ❜ ❛ it was like hanging out with my mom. ❜ ❛ they always have that ‘fun mom’ energy. ❜ ❛ so, there’s no toilets. ❜ ❛ well yeah, that’s how all of life works. ❜ ❛ this is an on - fire garbage can. ❜ ❛ this is an on - fire garbage can. could be a nursery. ❜ ❛ sometimes babies will point at me, and i don’t care for that shit at all. ❜ ❛ you’re never too young to learn our national no - snitching policy. ❜ ❛ fell deadly silent, is what they all did. ❜ ❛ no one wants to applaud the penis of a 32 - year old weirdo. ❜ ❛ i had no supervision when i was a kid. ❜ ❛ i grew up before children were special. ❜ ❛ i’m so horny and angry all the time. ❜ ❛ and i have no outlet for it, so… eggs. ❜ ❛ i think emily dickinson’s a lesbian. ❜ ❛ you can imagine the kind of stress that i’m under. ❜ ❛ i’m telling you three weeks in advance. ❜ ❛ that’s exactly what you won’t ask. ❜ ❛ and then, he ordered one black coffee for himself, and kept driving. ❜ ❛ in retrospect, that’s the funniest thing i’ve ever seen in my life. ❜ ❛ what do you do to afford v-necks, ___? ❜ ❛ ah, numbers. the letters of math. ❜ ❛ no one look at me or i’ll kill myself. ❜ ❛ thank you, no one will ever see me again! ❜ ❛ who could she have been talking to? ❜ ❛ i need you to believe me. ❜ ❛ one feels like a duck when one is splashing around in all this wet! ❜ ❛ i think about that every goddamn day. ❜ ❛ that’s the wonderful thing about crazy people, you know? ❜ ❛ eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs. ❜ ❛ a very upsetting thing to hear, yes? ❜ ❛ if you eat ass and suck enough dick, one day you can sell drugs. ❜ ❛ one black coffee. same motherfucker. ❜ ❛ my feet were not on the ground. ❜ ❛ he never forgets a bitch, ever. ❜ ❛ then it is revealed that she has NO hand. ❜ ❛ you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclaire. ❜
@startracings
“That still doesn’t answer the question...”, said the male as he just shrugged his shoulders and moved to the tree in which the female was entangled in. A small smile would grace his lips, a mischievous one, a smile you couldn’t trust in that moment.
“Ready?”, he said as she took his hands to give her legs a push....except that unknown to the female...they were glowing.
He was going to push her with the strength of a Sword Skill.
no one can convince me that kirito doesn’t have a crush on sashi
Injured/Injury Starters
Injured
“Oh shit, are you alright?”
“Dude, I don’t think you’re alright.”
“Blood’s not supposed to be coming from there…”
“That looks broken.”
“Can you move your __?”
“Are you okay?”
“That doesn’t look good.”
“Who did this?”
“Did you do this to yourself?”
“How did this happen?”
“We need to get you to a hospital.”
“Do you need to go to a hospital?”
“That’s not supposed to bend that way.”
“Do you want me to look at it?”
“Don’t move, you’ll make it worse!”
“Stop moving!”
“There’s so much blood.”
“I’ll see if I have a first aid kit.”
“Just… Stay here and I’ll get help.”
“How did you even do this?”
“This happened in a fight?”
“Walk it off.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“I think you need stitches.”
“You dumbass.”
Injury
“I think I hurt myself.”
“I can’t feel my __.”
“I think my __ is broken.”
“Shit, that hurts to move.”
“I don’t think I can get up.”
“I’m going to try to get up.”
“Can you go get help?”
“I need help.”
“I think I’m going to pass out.”
“I don’t think there’s supposed to be that much blood.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“I got [shot, stabbed, etc].”
“I can’t walk.”
“I don’t think I need to go to a hospital.”
“I think I need to go to the hospital.”
“Stop laughing, this hurts.”
“My last words better not be stupid.”
“That was a dumb idea.”
“Shit, that burns.”
“I’m fine… really.”
“Damn, I can’t get the bleeding to stop.”
“I got into a fight…”
“I feel lightheaded.”
“It hurts to move.”
“Can you look at it for me?”
★ 普通怪獣ぽりごん。 ☆ ⊳ kirito (sao ordinal scale) ✔ republished w/permission

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming