Can You See Me

Omg this fan edit by Berries and Cubes is so funny!!! 

Ichiban Kuji Gintama clear file

Everyone in the universe: *instantly believes her*

OH LORD!

THE CHAPTER’S GLORIOUS! I HAVE AWAKENED!

BRACE YOURSELVES OKIKAGU FANS! Okikagu is canon!

kanna chan is actually the real KAGURA!??? WTF!? 

Long post ahead!

That’s dangerous, Gin-chan. -

Reposted because apparently I wasn’t done with it hahaha. I’ve always wondered what Tae would have looked like if she became a man during the Dekobokko arc. Ginko says nothing changed, but is she sure…hahaha

-(and I got the Japanese wrong damn I’m def gonna go OC over that hahaha)

Teen level romance: OkiKagu

Adult level romance: KatsuMatsu

But it never happens. His fist continues his trajectory, and she’s dodging like usual too— it’s just that a soft stuff appears suddenly and the next thing he knows, Kagura’s wringing herself in pain on the ground.

“The fuck,” she curses and he can see tears forming in the corner of her eyes, “that hurts!”

“Did you get fatter?” He asks and stares at his left hand— his dominant one, and wonders, “It was soft. If you’re pregnant you shouldn’t fight or are you ovulating right now? That would explain the pain. Do you Yatos become fat when having periods?”

She’s red and refuses to look at him, she looks humiliated and he doesn’t like the way her eyes stray away from him because he’s not that ugly, “It wasn’t the stomach?”

She narrows her eyes and now she’s glaring at him, “You’re the worst virgin of the world,” she gets up and says while holding her heart. Sougo is good at aiming, but injuring her heart with only a fist…? It doesn’t sound possible, but he can’t think of anything else.

“Are you in love with me or something?” He keeps his face as poker-faced as possible, lest she notices the warm spreading on his cheeks.

“I hope you never get a girlfriend.”

She mutters with a somewhat bitter tone he doesn’t hear often and she walks away, it looks like she’s tired and angry with him but he can’t fathom way. They fight and hurt each a lot, it’s natural and part of their sparring but these days she doesn’t appear as often as before and it makes him feel odd. She easily gets angry with him, in the olden days he could steal back her attention with a “hey ugly monkey” but nowadays she’s learned to ignore boys.

“What the hell is wrong with her, anyway? She kicked my XXX many times, too. Maybe she really has her period.”

*******************************

“And he said a period joke, can you believe it?” Kagura wants to scream to the world, “I’ll really make him bleed from his bladder! What’s wrong with him anyway, he doesn’t get signals even if I do my best.”

“Okita-san is less experimented than you think,” Soyo laughs sweetly. Six months, intense romance reading and still not any results. “Maybe you should be more direct, Kagura-chan. Like usual.”

“It’s not like he’s innocent either! I’ve seen him sharing p*rnmag with Gin-chan. And walking around Yoshiwara. And playing with girls.”

“You must really love him.”

“He doesn’t even see me as a girl anyway. It’s always monkey, piggy and brat and snot girl— ”

“To confuse this and that, I have to admit that he’s worse than I thought,” Soyo sighs and pats her best friend’s shoulders. “It’s okay, I’ll handle him for you but he might act weird afterward. I mean, men are idiots.”

“They suck.” Kagura pauses a moment, her face brightens up in a desperate glimmer, “But I love him.”

“I’ll do something, you can count on me.”

*******************************

“Okita-san?” Soyo calls the officer but he doesn’t answer: his eyes drift towards her an instant before turning back to the sky. He’s sloppier than usual and drops the formalities.

“What?”

“Are you disappointed I’m not Kagura-chan?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, she’s been moody that’s all.” He closes his eyes and Soyo definitely knows what he’s thinking about, who he is thinking about. “Are you sure she’s not pregnant?”

“What if I said yes?” Okita suddenly rises stiff and straight from the bench, his brain can’t even translate everything correctly. Then it hits him. “Who? Is that brat seriously fighting with spawn in the stomach?”

“Well, there are a lot of guys who confessed to her.”

“She rejects all of them.”

Soyo smiles at his instant reply, “Sometimes Kagura-chan drink. I always have Nobume-chan accompany her but maybe she went all alone, heartbroken women are easy targets after all.”

“Heartbroken? What, did she not receive her pocket money from Boss?” He scoffs, but then he can’t explain why his heart stings and he wants to destroy something. Right now. “Did she fall so low as to be in love? Get knocked up by a stranger? Don’t joke.”

His words sound angrier and angrier as time flows, it feels wrong, this China girl he’s known since early eighteen in love, and pregnant with a random man?

“No.” She shakes her head, “But she’s heartbroken. It’s stupid but the guy won’t notice her, well, not the way Kagura-chan wants to. It’s a shame, Okita-san, don’t you think? She knows him for four years, they see each other often but he doesn’t even see her as a woman. She’s really angry you know?”

“What kind of man doesn’t notice her? She wears less and less clothes that even Hijikata-san tries to reason her, that’s something for an Otaku like him.” He remembers a particular dress, the white long one with high slits and hungry eyes following.

“Yeah, this man is clueless.”

“Asshole.”

Soyo almost chokes out but quickly regains her poise, before she can explode of laughter, “Hmm,” she hums in agreement. “He even confused her stomach and breasts, but she always wears the prettiest dresses for him and he never compliments her. He’s truly a clueless asshole, isn’t he Okita-san?” She smiles, but it’s not the kind smile type.

Okita feels a threatening mood weighing on him, the princess is storm whenever China is in the matter. Maybe this is Okita Sougo’s Disappreciation Week, and his ranking will drop as low as Henpeita’s. The world seems to be against him.

“Okita-san?”

“What?”

“Go apologize, and never make period jokes again. They’re not funny.” Her red flan flies right next to his cheeks, some blood dripping from the cut. “If you don’t make her happy then I’ll find someone else who will.”

He doesn’t really understand himself or China as of late, so he doesn’t know why he’s running or where to.

But really, he feels like he should go and ask her if he can see her in the white Qipao again because she’s beautiful with it and maybe, he could ask her for some sukonbu date too. First of all, he makes a mental note to himself;

no more period jokes.

*******************************

Man I love these

You could they say they were alike. Most people would. They had dead red eyes that had seen too much and there wasn’t much left in their soul besides destroying and killing and it was funny how they were both in police forces like chained beasts. Well, he still had a better luck than her, he was much less of a crazy bitch and had the whole Shinsengumi as a family but that didn’t mean he’d accept pity-gifting Imai of his now only female influence. He was a selfish man, always had been and always will be.

At first, he thought they were friends and it never bothered him since China had always sought female friends, which seemed normal to him— there were only men in her entourage. Both Imai and she hated him, though differently but the enemy of your enemy is your friend and his crotch remembered well how they had almost torn him apart. China certainly brightened up upon the creation of the Sadistic Sisterhood Three, though they might bring his demise one day or another he judged the Princess and Imai to make good friends enough for the China girl, even if he never really trusted Imai. He trusted China; however, and that was enough.

Maybe he shouldn’t have, should have killed this woman before any harm could be done. Those were his thought when, all of sudden, Kagura jumped in between them as he was about to cut her down. His dominant arm trembled, a lot, she was all open and ready to be slashed but she knew it. It made things worse when the dark-haired girl’s blade swung to Kagura’s neck, and that the latter didn’t budge ever so slightly.

“You’re hurting,” she said as if it was obvious. “Earth is the planet of freedom, yes?”

It was only then he noticed the blade that looked so threatening, so assured, had been in fact trembling the whole time. That beyond her expressionless face there was something akin to despair, the tears silently rolling off her cheeks. She must have been wondering too, what could this brat understand, why could she read them— trained murderers— like a book?

Just then, Okita noticed a change in Imai. It was as if something had reborn within her, he too had felt like the world lost its meaning when the Shinsengumi disbanded. The Shinsengumi he protected, his Shinsengumi had been destroyed and he thought it really was until she came to him with a sigh and knocked some senses into him.

“Why are you still wearing this uniform then?”

“We are not the kind to meekly bid farewell, yes?”

Okita remembered how relieved he felt when Imai dropped weapons— figuratively before the damned Crow charged on them. Then they needed to leave, and he forgot everything but their last words of parting when they were on that bridge and he swore he’d come back stronger than her. He thought he had failed her when he was crawling after Utsuro pierced him, along with other soldiers, he really thought he was dying and so was Kondo and Hijikata, that the China girl was forever going to be disappointed but he found the force to get up.

He loved the stare she gave him when they all swung their weapons at Utsuro. They were facing each other and her furrowed brows only meant hey what are you doing Chihuahua, I thought cockroaches were hard to kill?

Utsuro died. The Immortal had died, and so was the war they all fought together. He didn’t remember what happened afterward because he collapsed and woke up in an equally collapsed room with a lingering trace of a hospital room. His heart stung a bit when she didn’t spare some time to go visit him but with a recovering speed like hers she must have gone out if ever gone to the hospital at all and took care of some matters. Like her family, he pondered a long time if she wasn’t going to follow her father, maybe her pirate of her brother too. If she didn’t come for a parting match with him then he was going to, broken ribs and all.

It came out as a surprise when he saw a redhead walking beside Imai on the streets, weapons out and beating the shit out of criminals, probably. It had it him that Edo was recovering from the war, too, and needed protection in its frail state.

“I can’t let a piggy steal my job,” he said as if ribs still hurt and he had to muster all of his will to keep a poker-face. But China didn’t look impressed.

“I bet you’re still all broken, you can’t protect anything if you die. And if you die I’d need to carry out the mission to protect Edo and I’ll be able to become an alien hunter, yes? Papi wanted to leave right now but thanks to you tax-robbers it’s going to be belated.”

“Good grief, I won’t miss you,” he muttered. “I hope you’re not violating any laws with her.”

Imai stood there, removed the donut from her mouth and glared at him. He knew something was up when he felt possessiveness oozing out of the girl.

“Never knew you swung this way,” he joked. “I take back what I said, I hope she’s not violating any laws with you, if you know what I mean.”

“What are you talking about Sadist?”

“Kagura is my donut,” Imai said out of the blue. “Lay your hands off, bastard,” she said.

China girl was a brat, snot, a China doll even, but a donut?

What was this supposed to mean? Did Imai want to eat her? Or was she just hungry?

“Why am I a donut?”

“Because I love donuts, and I love Kagura so you’re my donut.”

World seemed to be upside down, suddenly, as the older female swung her arm around Kagura’s neck and her face was gently going downward to China’s lips and—

He made her taste his blade, all too literally.

“Oi, oi this is not Gintama Not! yet what do you think you’re doing?”

“Eating my favorite donut.”

“I love you too Nobu-chan, you’re one my bestie with Soyo-chan.”

“China you’re missing the point!” He growled back.

He knew. From the start.

They were alike, so he wasn’t surprised when he noticed she had the same soft spot for this one, red-dressed China, and that was partly why he didn’t do anything when she befriended Imai. They were sheathless swords that only knew how to destroy, but Kagura taught them how to protect.

They sought the same solace, the kind that would always a strip of sour seaweed in her mouth, without manners but oddly able to understand them the best. A sheath. Always there, always had been and always will be—

“Don’t joke,” he grinned and deftly swung his sword again and drew a slit of blood on Imai’s cheeks. “I’ve seen her first. She’s my sheath, tabasco or whatever.”

He could only laugh inwardly as his China doll tilted her head in incomprehension, contrasting with the fuming Imai who apparently got the dirty joke. Not that he was bragging but she spent a night alone with him (attached to a pillar, he wanted to take a shit), he knew her ovulation cycle (only when eggs literally slid off her clothes, around the crotch area), proposed her (to go to jail) and confessed (indirectly).