i don't think i'm anime i fucking know i am

i will not be ranking these based on plot, animation, or literally any other criteria ok here we go

10: Public Enemies

dash himself is not very gay in this one but danny does beat him up and he gets the angst of being possessed and not remembering what happens. also this screenshot is literally so gay

4/10 for wasted potential in proving dash is gay. this couldve gone so much harder. but bonus points for for passed out dash

9: Doctor’s Disorders

fellas is it gay to lock yourself in a bathroom stall so fenturd doesnt see the horrible monster youve become, tell him to ‘get away,’ and then pass out before being able to fight him despite being a school jock who could probably deal some damage and has a better immune system than the other kids? is it also gay to then when your entire life revolves around ghosts and having ghost powers to watch a sappy romcom while waiting for phantom to come save you? the answer is yes. 6/10 again it couldve gone harder

8: Frightmare

again dash himself isnt explicitly gay in this episode. but danny why is your ultimate dream scenario being best friends with dash and having him know your secret. it gets a higher rating than the other two bc its literally a wish fulfillment scenario aka 174% more gay. but mathematically speaking 2/10 for baiting me with dash in the first two minutes and then never bringing him back

7: Forever Phantom

“watch it, fentertainment tonight! i’m chasin’ a real somebody!” 10/10

also spending the entire episode devoted to hanging with phantom + another reference to the romance channel. not very nuanced but still very gay

6: Reality Trip

what do you think it means when the school jock finds out your secret, wastes exactly 0 time in helping you, and finds a way to shoehorn in giving you his clothes to wear while doing it. dash was only in this entire movie for like 4 minutes but damn if he wasnt homosexual for all of them 7/10

5: Ultimate Enemy

”but dash wasn’t even IN the ultimate enemy!!11!1!” EXACTLY. if older dash had been in the future with dark dan he simply would have smooched him and then there would have been no conflict. if younger dash had shown up to the big fight then dark dan wouldve broke down sobbing at what couldve been. they had to restrain dash from this entire episode bc of his power. 9/10 i know the truth.

4: Splitting Images

it is important to remember that dash has no goddamn idea that’s sidney. danny literally does 1 (one) nice thing for him and dash decides “ok well i will be his best friend and play football with him and be impressed by his skills and then throw a party and also put my hands on his shoulders several times.” this proves my point that if danny werent a little shit he and dash would already have been dating by the time the show starts. 8/10 for letting dash be mundanely gay instead of knowing anything about ghosts. it doesnt happen very often

3: Attack of the Killer Garage Sale

do you ever just get a tutor who happens to be the exact sister of that nerd you pick on and also call him a twink and then invite him to your party even though you do not have to and specifically tell him the dress code and get him at the popular kids table and then realize he might not have the money for the dress code so you intentionally seek him out to give him money for some computery thing you dont know about but you also also realize that probably isnt enough so last minute you change the entire dress code to something you know he has and wear his exact outfit to make him seem cool by comparison. do you ever do that.

also these two shots are back to back 10/10

2: Micro Management

the pièce de résistance of all dash content. im talking 20 minutes of nonstop dash. im talking taking every opportunity to talk about how cool phantom is. im talking abt getting grabbed by phantom to be saved by him. im talking abt having a mental breakdown cause you think youre not good enough. im talking about casually flirting via jokes. im talking being unable to stop thinking abt fenton even when youre face to face with your biggest hero. im talking about saying “we did it!!! :D” to cheer on said hero. im talking taking his hand. holding his hand. being lifted or pulled. im talking abt flipping the switch to save the day! im talking abt micro fucking management baybey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 12/10

but what in the goddamn world could have more gay dash than micro management??? well ill tell you

1: Pirate Radio

Walked 200 miles in a fursuit, had to be tenderly nursed back to health in a Spanish castle

Is low-key stressed at all times

Jumped out a window at a party to avoid arrest, escaped to his ship, then had his pursuers pressed, thereby making it illegal for them to arrest their own captain

Boasts that his men have “pricks a yard long”

Captured a fucking 32-gun xebec with a 14-gun ship

Pretends to be a worse fiddle player than he is because he’d rather play modestly with Stephen than play excellently alone

Has ADHD

and Stephen Maturin,

Called an aardvark “Honey”

Beat a man to death with a dildo

Fell into the sea while climbing between two boats, sank, resurfaced as the boats were drifting together, knocked his head between the two boats, sank again

Released 60,000 bees into the great cabin

Smelled his love interest’s perfume on Jack at dinner, responded by disappearing into his cabin and doing hardcore drugs

Performed emergency bullet-removal surgery on himself, survived

Washes the dishes, does not let Stephen dry

Got in trouble for rigging the stock market

Has “an uncommon genteel figure”

Gets so excited at concerts that he waves his hands and bounces up and down in his seat

Picked up a mugger by the shoulders and shook him so vigorously that he passed out

and Stephen Maturin,

Doesn’t respect the law

Made up a fake girlfriend so he could go ashore and take a nap in the woods alone

Told Jack a bunch of personal information about himself within hours of meeting him despite being an actual spy

Carried a tumor with teeth and a dead mouse in a bottle in his pistol holsters instead of pistols

Knight In A Shining Armor Hordak for Lieutenant_Lizard

Designing the armor was a total blast and I had a ton of fun coloring the metal parts. It seems to be much more fun to do with watercolor brushes and has a nice texture to it.

Despite Hordak having a pretty dark color scheme in his original design, I went with silver and gold instead of black and dark metal. I also switched the Horde’s red for Entrapta’s magenta. A knight needs a lady, right? Or a very skilled blacksmith!

my dumb fucking wrist: am hurtie