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You know better than to get tangled up with Flins, especially when he seems to have a personal vendetta against anyone who fancies the young master Illuga.
tags: reader has a crush on illuga, flins being a hater, you hating flins, flins being a sneaky manipulative fae, tension, suggestive content, smut ?, one night stands, idk what else to tag hh
wc: 5.2k
chuu's note: in my humble opinion flins is a whore β‘ also this fic was inspired by ivan flirting w anyone who has a crush on till hahaha
βAh, youβre hereβ Illugaβs voice calls out to you like a beam of sunshine, bathing you in his sweet warmth β that is, until you spot another familiar figure right behind him.
Like a shadow, Flins trails behind Illuga, and though his exterior opposes that of your beloved Squad Leader, he doesnβt miss his opportunity to shoot you a charming smile.
Charming, but you know better.
You know better than to get wrapped up with Mr Flins. And you know even better to keep your distance from Illuga when heβs nearby.Β
By now, the tall man has understood your affections toward Illuga, despite your desperate attempts to conceal them.Β
Rumor has it, Flins was quite the name amongst the lightkeepers, ones that were once admirers of your dear beloved Squad Leader, Illuga. That was, until they got tangled up with Mr Flins. Perhaps it was a game for the elder man, toying with the hearts that once were for Illuga, and tangling them around his own finger instead.
You didnβt understand why it was, but he always loomed around Illuga, as if he was protecting him from every set of eyes that landed on him β even his many admirers.
Or rather, especially his admirers.Β
Even the most devoted of admirers of Illuga have fallen for Flinsβ sinister game, but you know better.
βShall we head to my office? Thereβs some matters about the new investigation route I want to go through with youβ Illugaβs honey smooth voice snaps you away from the hold Flinsβs gaze had on you. And as if you were but a mere puppy on command, you perk up and smile at IllugaΒ
You would gladly trail behind him and shut the door close behind you, right at Flins' face.
βOf course, Master Illugaβ you nod, and you have to keep your mouth from hanging open when you catch the way Flinsβ eyes roll. He surely hadnβt meant for you to see that, you know that in the way he smiles just as brightly right after.
βFlins, you may accompany us as wellβ Illuga speaks, and to both of your surprise, Flins shakes his head,
βForgive me, Young Master, for I have a duty elsewhere. I will catch up a little laterβ
As Flins bows his head, you narrow your eyes onto the man β what exactly was his deal?Β
Illuga almost pouts, and he looks as if he wants to say a little more, but he holds back. You understand now, that the pair have been a lot quieter than usual β Illuga especially, seems as if he is holding back tears whenever he looks to Flins.
βOf course, take your timeβ Illuga mumbles, his eyes on the floor before Flins steps forward. Youβre well on your way to Illugaβs office till you see Flins embrace your Squad Leader β and though Flins' eyes remain closed for a moment, they open and focus, right back onto yours.
And then, a smile - one of pure mockery.
This time, you canβt help but let your mouth hang open.
He did that on purpose.
You scoff, sourly, before entering into the room, not caring to give the man any more of your attention.
βSorry to keep you waitingβ Illuga sighs, closing his door behind him, βthings have been a lot more hectic than usualβ
You nod, keeping a small look of understanding on your expression, but you donβt say a thing. There is only one thing that ever runs through your mind when youβre alone with Illuga β and though you dearly admire him, you wish to offer him more of your help. Be more of use to him. Especially when he looks as stressed as he does now.
βIf it helps, I am ready to fight the Wild Hunt alongside-β you start but youβre firmly cut off.
βNoβ
You bite onto your lip to stop yourself from going further. It was a waste asking him, but you had to try β you would always try.
βYour job is to stay here where youβre safe and help plan out our routesβ
βMy job is being a cartographer, and I canβt be useful unless Iβm with you all on the fieldβ you want to say, but the words donβt leave your lips β you know itβll only cause another argument. Instead, you look out at the map Illuga has spread out on his desk.
βI apologise, I didnβt mean to snapβ Illuga says softly, and only now do you realise heβs been staring at you ever since. You look away immediately, and focus on the spaces heβs marked.
βItβs fineβ
Itβs not fine. But you understand why you need to say it.
βYouβre plenty useful like this, I promise. You donβt need to do more than thisβ he reassures you, his brows furrow upward in attempt to reason with you, but you shake your head,
βBut I can. I know I canβ
βI know you can tooβ Illuga sighs, and your eyes widen β for the first time, Illuga has admitted that he does see you back on the front lines. But thereβs that look on him, an immense whirl of guilt that pools in his eyes the moments he looks at you.
βI just canβt take that risk againβ he says, and with the way his voice softens, you understand that perhaps thereβs more to it than what he lets on, βand I canβt have anyone else be taken away from meβ
With a shaken exhale, you nod your head. There was no convincing him.
The moment you had hurt yourself during one of the battles with the Wild Hunt, was the moment you were taken out of any more expeditions. Every privilege that you had, every single thing you took for granted being on the front lines - it all vanished the moment you got hurt, the moment Illuga saw you getting hurt.
Illuga, being the Squad Leader, had every authority to keep you from going out ever again. You didnβt blame him of course, but he often did. Illuga has a knack for blaming himself for everything. Any injury anyone from the team sustained, Illuga would be the first to blame himself for it.
That still didnβt warrant where you were now; stuck in a division of the lightkeepers with the utilization of only half a worker, if even that.
Yet somehow, Illuga still kept you around. He said it was because your βrouting skills were so efficientβ, but you truly didnβt believe him anymore. And with the way his fingers tilt your head to face him once more, you realise, youβre too distracted to care anymore.
Your dear Squad Leader, the one person you admiredβ¦ Unfortunately for you, he has a breathtakingly beautiful face you can never say no to.Β
βIf youβre upset, we can resume another timeβ
You scoff into a smile, he looks awfully pitiful β but youβre well aware that there is no more time. Especially for your over-worked Squad Leader.
βIβm okay. Letβs continueβ
Only a few days have passed but the chaos in town is like no other. It was your duty to be present for all your work, but you find yourself alone in headquarters more often than not now. Wild Hunt activity has been at an all time high, and all you seem to be in charge of is staying far far away from trouble whilst your entire team deals the damage.
Though you were praised for your patience, commended for your work-ethic, tonight was a night you seemed to break almost every rule Illuga set out for you.
Going on field was off limits.Β
Going on field with intention of working on any part of mapping is especially off limits.Β Especially when Wild Hunt activity is no where near cleared.
If you break these rules, youβll be dismissed without warning.
Truly, you should have taken it a little more seriously when you find yourself lost amidst the woods. You were meant to be better than this β but clearly, even your navigation skills have taken a hit after being inactive for so long.Β
Youβve lost your touch, and tonight has well and truly proved it.
As the night started to grow darker, the snow starts to pile on and on, making everything more unbearable. A mockery of your desperate attempts to feel useful again, a strike of pure karma for disobeying the rules of someone you say you admire.Β
You almost believe tonight will be your last night until you see a flicker of a light in the distance.Β
As it nears, you notice the flame, a familiar blue flame.
βIt is most surprising to see you hereβ Flins speaks first and you struggle to find the right words.
Out of every person you could possibly meet on this trail, youβve come upon the worst β the one that was looking for a weakness, one that would rat you out in a heartbeat to earn Illugaβs favour. After all, it doesn't take a fool to understand why you have come so far from headquarters, at the peak of Wild Hunt activity at that.Β
You close your eyes and sigh; before you could speak, Flins speaks for you,
βI assume you have gotten lost continuing on a trail? Yes?β
You try not to let your shock show, but youβre truly dumbfounded. Was he really trying to give you the benefit of the doubt? Did he perhaps, feel pity for you? Was he merely playing you a fool?
βYes. I apologise, Flins. Iβ¦ canβt thank you enough for being hereβ you quickly say and see the corner of his lips turn upward,
βItβs no problem. I usually make rounds before I call it a night. Iβm glad to have found you, it would be a shame to have you here through the night aloneβ He speaks, fluid, gentle; all too easily, you find yourself a little comfortable around him β it was odd, you should be terrified.Β
Somehow, he seemed gentle in the night. Bearable. Much more than in headquarters, where your only point of conversation is the weather, or perhaps how lackluster the cafeteria food is.Β
βYou seem coldβ
βOh- Iβm fine! I didnβt think Iβd be here this long so I wasnβt preparedβ you quickly stumble on your words when you notice Flins shrugging off his large coat. Your eyes widen when he leans in to wrap it around you,
βI apologise, it may be a little on the heavy sideβ he mumbles, as he buttons up the top, leaving you snug and warm, enclosed in his scent. Before you can offer him a word of gratitude, he leans in once again taking both your palms from under the coat, placing his lamp against you. It emitted a warmth you craved for β to think you were almost ready to give up, lie lifeless in the coldβ¦
βFor good measureβ he smiles, returning his gaze back onto yours, his gloved thumb reaching up and brushing at the corners of your eyes.Β
You hadnβt even realised there were tears to wipe away till he had done so.Β
You blink away whatever you can and smile softly, muttering something about heading back home, even when you know little of the possibility of it.
βItβs far too late to be making a return, so please, take my hand. I shall escort you to my abode. Worry not, you may stay the night, I have a spare room.β
You are suddenly thankful the skies are as dark as they are β this way, you feel a little more at ease with the way your face heats up. His home? You knew Flins lived far, but you hadnβt ever thought of how far exactly.
The silence is deafening when you settle yourself in Flinsβ home β it was a small little cottage, but it was cozy and warm enough for you to feel safe for the night. But something about the air surrounding you gave you the chills.
Flins offers you a warm cocoa to which you gladly oblige in. You try to be sweet to the man, he had just saved your life, after all. What more, he was keeping you in his home for the night. You should be thankful, but instead, youβre starting to feel as if youβve made a grave mistake.
More grave than disobeying Illuga and searching the fields.
βThere is no need to be so afraid, dear Y/nβ Flins starts, somehow, you believe he doesnβt find the situation as entirely awkward and tense as you do.Β
Your fingers curl against the warmth of the mug as you stare into the contents, your eyes dark, hollow, wallowing at the fact you were doomed either way.
You didnβt trust Flins.
How could you?
He was always in it for the good books with Illuga. No matter how grateful you are for him saving your life tonight, you are well aware of the consequences that you may face when you return to headquarters.
βI assure you, I will not report this to the Young Masterβ his voice is a little firmer this time, you understand it when you look up to see him seated right beside you, his bulb-like eyes boring into yours as he smiles, βit can be our little secretβ
Youβre briefly caught up in the moment, his eyes were almost like the sun β too bright and too hot to stare into for long, but oh how you wanted to burn your eyes a little more looking into him.Β
βYou donβt believe me, do you?β he tilts his head to the side, long strands of hair fall as he does so. You try not to get distracted by the sheer beauty of this man β you know he uses it to his advantage, in more ways than one.
βIt would go against your code to not report itβ you reply, frank, tearing your gaze away from his, even if it pained you to,Β βI donβt expect you to lie for someone as insignificant as meβ
A look of amusement flashes his expression, but itβs soon replaced by mock pity, βYou are not insignificantβ
You scoff, taking a final sip of the cocoa, βCharming. But I wonβt be fooled by pretty wordsβ
βThere truly is no breaking that barrier of yoursβ Flins sighs before leaning into you β your shoulders shrug up when his thumb swipes at the bottom of your lip. Shameless, as always. You look away quickly, not bothering to affirm that he indeed did smirk after doing so. He takes your mug afterwards and leaves you be for a moment, only to return shortly.
He strides over to you with a large purple scarf. Wrapping it around your neck twice, he tightens it in place by pulling you closer toward him, βyou can keep this, consider it a gift from me. It gets quite chilly during the nightβ
You nod, silently, your heart beating faster - his scent, it was different from when you were wrapped in his coat. But you still liked it.
What a dangerous man.Β
The night was colder than any other night you have ever encountered. But it wasn't simple to describe. There was something you didn't understand, this βchillβ you felt, it felt darker, sinister, almost. I wasnβt just the mere temperature of the room.Β Β
The uneasiness of the night rattled you awake each hour, and you grow frustrated every time you find yourself snapping out of sleep only to realise itβs still just as dark as the last time you woke. You canβt remember how many times youβve awoken, but what feels like the 5th, you wake up with a gasp, clutching onto your shirt, or rather, Flinsβ shirt.
You squint your eyes at the bulb-like orbs staring at you from your door, βYou are frightening, Flinsβ you say, sitting up as you focus on the figure that now strides towards you. You can make out half a smile from his lips as he nears.
βAm I? I apologise. I was only checking up on youβ his voice is laced with amusement, as he takes a seat on the edge of the bed. Your heart swells a little, he must have been watching you struggle to fall asleep β you wonder for how long.
βIβm fine, I assure youβ
Flins tilts his head to the side, βIs that why you are still awake at this hour?β heβs teasing you, but you cannot think of a rebuttal, not when he is correct β you were not fine. You were terrified. The night has never consumed you before, but tonight, all that swirled through your thoughts were of being caught going against orders, and of course, the cursed energy that loomed all around these woods, in this very cabin.
You truly wonder how and why Mr Flins has made this particular spot his residence β you understand he liked his privacy, but surely living in a nightmare was not a pleasant bargain for it.
βI can stay if youβd likeβ his voice is almost like a lullaby, and yet, you manage to scowl at the man in response,
βI am not a childβ
Flins chuckles, βAnd yet, you are afraid of the spirits that loom around you. I believe you may have a sixth sense of some sort.β Β Β
You shake your head when he says that, βWhat?β
A silence ensues, and you almost begin to feel faint.Β
βHm?β he feigns innocence, and a sly smile cracks onto his lips. Flins seems to make himself more comfortable on the bed, seating himself full in front of you. You donβt seem to register heβs done this since youβre too paranoid with what he just revealed.
Spirits. So he did believe there were spirits in his home. What exactly has he witnessed?
βAh. So you are afraidβ
βThey donβt existβ you say quickly, itβs appalling how badly of a job youβre doing to remain nonchalant. Itβs crystal clear by now, that you are completely, and utterly terrified by the concept of ghosts.
βThey certainly do, dear Y/nβ Flins hums, leaning in a little closer, his eyes searching through your stone cold expression. You believe you do quite a good job concealing your fear, but your voice gives you away completely,
βYou jestβ
βFear not, they are harmlessβ he shrugs, before leaning back to leave. Just as he does, another sound is heard; a creak, a whoosh, something scuttling across the wooden flooring. You reach out to clutch onto his sleeve.
Youβve had your eyes closed for some time now, you donβt know if itβs been seconds, minutes, hours β but what you do know is that youβre still holding onto Flins. And youβre closer than ever.Β
Flins remains as silent as you are, you wonder if he thinks this is amusing β or if he simply wants to go back to sleep and wishes he never checked up on you in the first place.
And for the first time, you start to feel as if perhaps your perception of Flins wasnβt entirely right after all, perhaps-
βFlinsβ
βMm?β
You look up to meet his eyes, hauntingly beautiful, bright, gold β suddenly, you feel as if every inch of darkness in this room was banished away by light.Β
βIβm afraidβ you confess, lowly, and he replies right away, βI know, its okayβ
βNo itβs notβ you whimper, βIβm scaredβ
The words come out on their own, and you donβt understand why. Perhaps it's your fault for repressing your feelings, your guilt for disobeying your Squad Leader, for getting into this mess in the first place, for lying about not being afraid of ghouls.Β
You feel him drag you closer, your chest bumps into his - his scent, youβre close to him, like youβre being wrapped in his skin entirely. You canβt help but wish to bathe in it, it felt familiar, safe, so much safer than the torment inside your mind.
Everything in your mind was spiraling at a speed you simply could not comprehend, but suddenly, you pause.Β
βAreβ¦ you doing this?β
Flins almost looks frightened in the moment you speak those words to him, his eyes focused entirely on yours - fierce, only moments after being close to tears. But that look vanishes almost as quickly as it arises,Β
βMe?β he raises his brows, feigning innocence, a pretty smile twists to his lips as a shine lights his already bright pupils. You feel one of his palms slide up higher, holding the small of your back, as the other holds onto your cheek.βHow could I possibly?β
You shake your head, feeling colder again, βI donβt knowβ¦ sorryβ you whisper, βI must be losing my mindβ you say, breathless, feeling faint.
In a matter of moments, youβre suddenly conscious of the proximity β or lack of β between the both of you, the feeling on your legs around his, the warmth of his touch, even through his clothes and yours.
β¦ When exactly did you get to this position in the first placeβ¦ ? Was it when he pulled you in, when you didnβt push him off? Thatβs right, why would you, he feels so comfortable.
So cold.
So safe.
"I must be losing my mind..."
You swallow thickly when his fingers tip your chin upward,
βYes, you must beβ he mumbles, his eyes flickering to your lips before landing back to your eyes β though you are dazed, you certainly notice it. A flicker of desire, of need. Or perhaps, itβs your own reflection on his. It doesn't matter. Because you notice it, and so does he.Β
And it certainly drives you closer,
βYesβ your breath fanning his β you feel his breath hitch the slightest,
βYou and me bothβ he mumbles into your lips.Β
You donβt know who leant in first, you donβt care for it the slightest β because when it happens, neither of you care to stop. You donβt care for the cold, the chill, the ghouls, the awful things youβve done to end up here. You donβt think of any of it - you just want more.Β
You straddle the man entirely, your eyes hollow, your lips dangerous, latching onto him with a hunger youβve never known could consume you this badly. You feel him moan into you, the vibrations sending you into a frenzy to grind against him in the heat of the moment. His touch grows firmer with time, holding you in place, yet encouraging you to do as you please - and who were you to ever hold back.Β
βTake it off, pleaseβ you whine, your fingers fumbling against his thick coat - why was he wearing it in the first place? Was he not sleeping all this time? How had you only noticed just now?Β
Flinsβ laughs quietly, as he kisses you once more; he tilts his head to the side, almost playfully, nipping at your ear.Β
βBut itβs cold, darlingβ he pouts, laying you down and hovering over you.Β
βThenβ¦ take mineβ you groan, feverish - you could strip away every inch of your clothing and still feel hot. Right now, nothing mattered. You unravel the thick purple scarf Flins had gifted you, throwing it lazily on the floor, earning another pout from the man who immediately picks it up and dusts it off.
Perhaps it wasnt just any old scarf of his after all.
βSo impatientβ he hums, before you feel his palm sink under the material of your shirt and onto your bare skin. Ice cold. His hand felt like an entire ice cube rolling up your front, βwhat would all the ghosts say, seeing you so scandalous like this?βΒ
βDonβtβ¦ donβtΒ careβ you scowl, your eyes almost roll back at the feeling of his fingers playing with your sensitive skin.Β
βAh, so youβre not scared anymore... ? Is that it?β he smiles, eyes boring into yours a moment too long that you almost feel yourself snap out of it all.
You swallow, your breaths shallower, and though you want to say the truth, that you still feel whatever darkness within the room with you, watching you. Instead, you shake your head, silently.
Flins smiles softly, leaning in to kiss your forehead, he didn't believe you one bit. But that didn't matter.Β
Nothing mattered. All that did matter was that he was inside you.Β
βA brave girl you are, alwaysβ he mumbles, his weight filling up you core. You close your eyes to relish in it - a pressure building inside of you, that you had no control over, one he toyed with over, and over and over again.Β
You whimper against him, pulling him closer to slot your face against the crook of his neck. Its only then, do you finally allow yourself to close your eyes and fall into the darkness.
βits time for you go to sleepβ
βThank you, youβve done wellβ Illuga smiles at you, and though a rational you would squeal at the praise from your Squad Leader, all youβre consumed with now, is guilt.
Guilt, anticipation, inevitable dread.
You havenβt seen Flins for 3 days now. A part of you wonders if this lucky streak could continue on for the rest of your life.Β
But even the mere thought of him gives you flashbacks to the night you spent with him - hot, breathless, full. So full of him you felt the ache for him painfully pulling yourself towards him when you hear a mumble of conversation that mentions his name.Β
Oh.
Of course. You should've expected this. This was the aftermath of a team meeting turned into a celebration. You hadn't seen Flins when the meeting had started, but perhaps he'd sneaked in towards the end of it.
Typical.
You stop and watch as the females surrounding him giggle amongst themselves. You feel your throat dry watching him smile softly, acknowledging them all.
You hate that youβve fallen for it, youβre no better than any one else. Even when you knew better than to get tangled up with him.
When you hear Flinsβ soft chuckle, you snap your gaze away, right as you see him turning to look towards you.Β
βAre you feeling unwell?β Illuga frowns, placing a palm atop your forehead. You fight a creeping blush before shaking your head,Β
βIβm fine, thank you for your concern. I think Iβll head back to work nowβ
βYou donβt look fineβ Illuga furrows his brows, and you already feel his stubborn self wrapping you up in a bubble and sending you away, βtake the rest of the day off, we're practically done here anyway.β
βOf courseβ you oblige, youβre in no position to argue, nor would it benefit you. Leaving this room would be the best option for today. You donβt excuse yourself from the room, you donβt believe anyone would pay attention either way. It wouldn't be in your best interest to, anyway. With the way you met Flinsβ eyes, you were acutely aware that he wanted to speak with you.Β
As you pack your bag to head out, you sneak into the cafeteria to pack an extra meal - perhaps, it would be your last. You couldn't be too sure, now that Flins was back - it was a matter of time till he rats you out.
Before anyone can catch you, you walk through the hallway, seeing the light of the exit puts you at ease - though you donβt seem to get far when your eyes catch familiar figure looming against the wall.
Flins.
You look to your feet and attempt to ignore the man - surely a one-night-stand means nothing to a man like him. Still, you should have excused yourself before you left him. Thanked him at the very least for letting you stay the night, for saving you that very cold night.Β
βA guilty consciousβ Flins tuts, and you freeze. Oh how heβs already gotten you irritated just like that.Β
You turn around and stride towards him, not wanting a word more said out in the open where anyone could hear.
βDo you wear that face because you worry the young master may find out about our recent relations?β
Before you can speak, he leans in closer, your breath hitches, remembering every moment of the night you spent with him. The way you so helplessly begged for him to fill you up, the way you so hopelessly asked him to keep going till you couldn't stand it anymore-
βYou need not worryβ he smiles, eyes flickering between your eyes and lips, βI would never position you in a bad light, it may taint the picture-esque image youβve painted for himβ
βYouβre a cruel man, Flinsβ is all you could manage to say, your heart almost leaping out of your chest. This could well be the end of your time as a lightkeeper.
βYou wound me with your wordsβ he gasps, βI gave you shelter, warmth, affectionβ¦ and you pierce me with a gaze like this?β
You find yourself taking a step back, hesitant as he steps closer.Β
βTruly, you think so lowly of meβ he whispers, darker, sinister, βYoung Master Illuga only holds me in the highest regard. I think, if you admire him so, you should be a little more at ease with me, no?β
Your jaw tenses with his words, you knew exactly what he meant underneath that statement β that if it ever came to it, it was his word against yours.
And his would always win.
You swallow down the nerves that bubble in your stomach - for someone you felt so safe around on a chilly night, you felt like every emergency bell was ringing loud and clear in your ears right now,Β
βHow can I? Youβre not human, are you, Mr Flins. All youβve done is lie.β
Flins wears a look of surprise for a small moment, before smiling, he leans down, suffocatingly close,Β βAnd are you any different? This isnt the first time you've left. Its just the first time you've been caughtβ
You manage to swallow down what little pride you had left and let the conversation end, just like that. He was right. You were both awful people, awful, terrible liars, that only cared for their own selves.Β
The tension between the two of you melts away like butter, leaving you standing still and awkward, until Flins scuffles around in his thick jacket.Β
βI suppose we both have secrets we donβt want revealed, itβs in both our interests to look out for each other, no?β he says once more, and when you meet his gaze, you see the purple scarf heβs held in front of you.
You feel a knot of guilt unravel in your stomach as you think back to how you awoke the morning after your night with him - he had left you the scarf with a note, that he was off fishing and would be back to take you home. But you couldn't wait that long, no, you vanished the moment you woke.
βFlinsβ you start, your breath hitching as he steps closer to wrap the scarf around your neck.Β
βMm?β He mumbles, eyes intent on wrapping it as secure and snug as he could, just like he had the first time.
βPlease promise me you wonβt tell him I leftβ you say, your voice almost trembling as your senses drown in his scent. You felt yourself grow even weaker when he brings you closer, just by the tug of the ends of the scarf.
βOf course notβ he replies, curt, and yet, you look at him with determined eyes; your palms wrapping around his at the end of the scarf.Β
βAnd anything after thatβΒ
βYes, thatβs a givenβ Flins mutters, his eyes now focused intently on your fingers that remain wrapped around his.Β
βI donβt believe you stillβ
Flins sighs, peeling his gaze from your hands, βI am quite awareβΒ
βYou like him, donβt you?β you suddenly say and he freezes for just a moment. You donβt believe youβve been able to see such an expression on the elder man, but he manages to settle into a softer smile, nonetheless.Β
βOf course I do. I like a lot of people, you should know well by nowβ
You shake your head, βNot like that. You donβt like anyone like that except for him. You do everything for him, donβt you?β
βYouβre a smart girlβ he muses, eyes delicate on yours as he speaks, but the words donβt seem to soften you as much as his gaze does βitβs no wonder the Young Master adores youβ
βHe doesnβtβ you reply, flat, dismissive, almost. Just the very thought of your Squad Leader only made you feel worse every time. You donβt know if youβll ever overcome the guilt, even with Mr Flinsβ word.
You sigh softly, letting go of Flins and stepping back, dejected - to anyone else, it would look as if a storm cloud hovered right above you. And thatβs entirely how you felt as you left. Flinsβ final words fall on deaf ears.Β
βSeems you speak a little too soonβ
chuu's note: i wanted to put this note to anyone who noticed, but illu is meant to be warm and flins is cold, complete opposites (to which i eventually wanna make a pt 2 for illu but we all know i suck at writing pt 2s). But its an interesting pair, I realised Flins eyes are yellow and Illus are purple, complete opposites of the warm/cold dynamic... so i thought why not switch them? flins who is cold but can be warm and illuga who is warm but can be cold (ahem the part 2 that will never happen)
also yes! mc does have some sort of "sixth sense" since she manages to understand flins' creepy cottage is filled w ghosts (even tho she denies it for her sanity) and also clocks that flins isnt human.
also that one moment where she goes "are you doing this?" out of NOWHERE lol - it was inspired by nikki from obsession snapping away from freaky nikki. Its intened that flins was totally making the ghouls extra rowdy to scare mc and get her more vulnerable ... yea yea toxic ik but you can totally ignore that if it doesnt suit your fancy.
anyways, i hope it wasn't too shitty I just wanted to write flins and mc in a diff dynamic cos i'm bored of the usual stuff i write for him yk :( ok by bye !!
"I hate you, you know that?" you suddenly snap, the words leaving your lips like a sacred chant you dared never to utter - and yet, here you were.
As Caleb falls silent at your outburst, you begin to see his features soften into something pitiful; but before you let that get to you, you turn on your heel and leave.Β
He doesn't follow you like he should. Usually, heβd be hot on your trail to reel you back and teach you a lesson; to never talk back, never raise your voice at him.
But this time, he doesn't.
This time, you canβt even hear his breaths lingering behind you.
You don't want to think about him anymore.Β
Not a single second.Β
As you slam your door, you make an effort to lock it before getting into your bed.Β
You hate the way your heart patters, the way your head keeps egging you to remember the harsh words you lashed onto your lover only seconds ago.Β You can admit to yourself now, that they were dramatic - of course you didn't hate Caleb - how could you? He was the only person that ever mattered to you.
Silence.Β
You canβt hear him. Is he still standing there? Right where you said those awful words? Why wasn't he moving?Β
Minutes pass. Then, an hour.Β
Only then, do you hear the first knock on your door.Β Somehow, your anxiety reduced into a wash of relief.
You swallow the lump in your throat, anticipating another knock at your silence. You wanted to pretend you were asleep, but you know Caleb well, and he knows you even better.Β
βI know youβre not asleepβ he mumbles behind the door.Β
He waits another moment before sighing.Β
You watch as the door handle twists, but it doesn't budge.Β
A deadly sound escapes Caleb's lips - a chuckle.Β
You find yourself biting the bottom of your lip, gripping at the sheets - this was inevitable. You knew youβd tick him off by locking your door, especially after an argument. It was one of the rules Caleb has set for the both of you since your shared childhood together - no locked doors, especially after arguments.Β
One loud bang, and he was inside; the small clinck of your now destroyed lock bounces on the floor as a reminder of your now disturbed peace.
As your eyes meet his, Caleb shakes his head in mock disappointment, βwhat did we say about locking doors, hm?β
You keep yourself composed; though, the sight of your shattered lock and partially broken door does not help, not one bit.
You watch as Caleb strides toward you, he doesn't look all that intimidating - usually, Caleb would have an almost predatory look on him after an argument like that. But tonight, he seemed all too expressionless.Β
Something felt off.Β
βSo I'm getting the silent treatment too now, huh?β He suddenly speaks, the way he spoke was far too casual, it makes you wonder if he was ready to make up. Though you were stubborn, you certainly didnβt mind it if he did, so as long as he apologises first, of course.
You keep your eyes on his as he nears, expectant.
βItβs fine, I don't mind,β he sighs, before sitting at the edge of your bed, βI was just going to say goodnight anyways, thatβs all.β
Your eye twitches involuntarily, and you find the words escaping before holding them back - so much for a silent treatment.Β Β
βThatβs all?β
Caleb smiles at the way you so easily gave up the act. He tilts his head to the side, his eyes shining softly, βAnd that I love youβ
βI love you tooβ you say in a breath, wanting to be closer, wanting to pull him in. Suddenly, nothing truly mattered anymore. Nothing ever mattered, except for Caleb.Β
But when you look into his eyes, you donβt see him anymore. Itβs empty, his eyes. They usually light up when you say those words, but right now, Caleb wasnβt there.
Though he smiles at you once more, you feel your heart begin to race. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. And deep inside your heart, you know itβs all your fault.Β
Before Caleb can turn to leave, you clutch onto the back of his shirt.
βWhats wrong?β Caleb questions, quirking a brow upward as he allows himself to settle back down on your bed with your eager attempt to pull him down.
βWeβre not making up?β You say, meeker than you intend - Caleb notices this, of course, but he doesnβt seem to tease you for it.
βHm? Why would we?β
You feel your stomach twist at the words, and you feel your breaths faint, βYou've always said it's best to make up before falling asleepβ you manage, feeling your throat clog up with the way he looks at you. As if you were a stranger of some sort, as if he saw right through you.
Where was he? Where was Caleb?
βDoesn't mean we shouldβ he replies flatly, βyou were about to sleep with your door locked, were you not? So you clearly didn't want to make up eitherβ
Your shoulders slump even more, your voice a little too innocent for even Caleb to bear any longer, βYou don't want to?β
He looks away, unable to face you, but heβs reeled back in when your palms cup onto his cheek, holding him there, right in front of you.
βCaleb-βΒ
βIβm tired pips, I need sleep too y'know" he mumbles, looking down to your lips before looking back up to your gaze, βplus, youβve been bad enough to me today. I think I deserve a breakβ
βNoβ you say, stubborn and childish as you are, but it manages to break a chuckle from him.
βNo?β He muses as you sit up straighter.Β
He must already know youβre about to kiss him, since he moves an inch back when you lean in. Though youβre offended, you scrunch your eyebrows to scowl at him.
βI spoil you too muchβ he sighs, βyou donβt get to kiss me after all of thatβ
As Calebβs large hands wrap around yours, you begin to panic when he pulls your hold away from him.
βPlease gege-β
Caleb seems to have some mercy for you when you plead like that, you understand that with the way he stills, the way his gaze softens just the slightest. He couldn't help it, and you knew it - when you addressed him like that, it felt like he could never say no.
His finger saunters across the bottom of your jaw, trailing a line over it before lingering against your lips.Β
You donβt look away from him, you canβt.Β
βNot this time, okay pips?β
When you feel his fingers press onto your bottom lip, youβre already commanded to take it in. It doesnβt matter anymore, this is a small luxury for what you did. You would take this, you would gladly take anything of what he gives to you.Β
βSo spoiltβ¦β he chuckles softly, prodding his finger in deeper, βperhaps I shouldβve left your lock on, after allβ
You hum as his two digits push in back and forth, relishing the feeling of his fingers on your tongue; your core aches with a type of pleasure you know you wonβt be getting a release from - but you still enjoy it.Β
You hold onto his wrist when he tries to pull his fingers away, desperate for the small form of intimacy heβs given to stay beside him a little longer. But you know that youβve already been far too greedy.
βThatβs enough now, yeah?β Heβs soft once more, easing you off. And though youβre dazed, you remember exactly what you needed to say before he leaves you tonight.
And since youβre already pathetic enough, you're no longer scared of voicing it out.
βWhat I said earlier-β you start, louder, ready to confront the situation you were avoiding. Caleb doesnβt move, and with the way he wasnβt looking at you anymore, you knew he knew exactly what you were talking about.
βItβs nothing iβm not aware ofβ
βWhat?β
The feeling again.Β
Washing over your previous pleasure, it eats away at you. You know it for certain now. It was all your fault. That empty look in his eyes. It was all your doing. The anxiety inside you hurls into something dangerous but you try to keep your mind steady to let Caleb know the truth.
βI don't hate you. I promise- I was just- I was just upset and it came outβ you sputter out as quickly as you can before regaining your breaths, βI say it when I'm angry, you know itβs not true, donβt you?β
Calebβs silence breaks your heart into fragments, his eyes look down before shaking his head and meeting your eyes once more. A gentle smile forms on his lips before he leans in to pat your head.
βYou should get some sleep, goodnight pipsβΒ
You feel your hands shake as you reach out to him once more, but this time, youβre not fast enough.Β You find yourself clutching onto the mattress underneath in an attempt to find a warmth that isnβt his.
Heβs already gone.Β
You didnβt know Caleb had those thoughts in his head. How could you possibly know? You thought he knew how much you adored him. How the possibility of you hating him could never occur, not even in a million lifetimes.Β
βArent you a little too old to be creeping into my bed over nightmares?β Caleb sighs as he sits up from his bed, staring you down as you creep your way into his bed and under his sheets.
βPipsβ¦β there was a hint of warning in his tone, but you donβt back down, βyou have your own bedβΒ
βAre you going to kick me out?β You challenge, only to hear him sharply inhale as you wrap your arms around his waist, snuggling up to his chest.
Caleb manages to relax a little as he falls back into his pillow, you feel it with the way his breaths have finally steadied in your embrace, βOf course not. Itβs your home, do as you pleaseβ
βIβm sorryβ you start, closing your eyes to rest against his chest, finding comfort in his warmth and the gentle thumping of his heart, βI promise you, with every fibre of my being, I donβt hate you. I never did, I never willβΒ
βThatβs reassuringβ he replies, but you find yourself pushing up against his chest to take a better look at him. Caleb opens his eyes and raises his eyebrows at you, as if to question you, but you narrow your eyes onto him instead,Β
βYou don't believe me stillβ you say in a huff, Caleb sighs.Β
βHow can Iβ he mumbles softly, βyou said it with such convictionβ¦ it just reinforced something I had already been feelingβΒ
You swallow down, thick.Β
The guilt was washing over you like waves crashing onto you, over and over again, hard, heavy, painful.
Everything hurt.Β
But what hurt more was the way Caleb stared right at you, nervous to say another word, that you may break if he did.Β
Even when he was already the one who was broken.
βI love you Caleb, you know that, donβt you?β You say, softer - and though Caleb sits up to comfort you, you canβt help but feel like a monster when he doesnβt reply.Β
He canβt reply.
βCaleb?βΒ
As your voice begins to shake and your eyes start to water, Caleb closes his eyes momentarily to let out a breath.Β
βIβm not upset anymore pipsβ he shakes his head, βlet's go back to sleep now, okay? β
Again and again. He wonβt answer you. He certainly believes it, that you hate him, that you donβt truly love him. It was all your fault.Β
All your fault.Β
Unknowingly, you break out into an ugly sob, shocking even Caleb who pulls you into his chest immediately. You hate how you canβt reach him. You hate how he doesnβt listen. You hate how he doesnβt understand that heβs the only person you care about.
βPlease stop crying pips...β he groans, rocking you back and forth, just like he always did when you would cry in his arms, βI still love you, Iβll always love youβ
βBut you don't believe that I love youβ your voice cracks again, pushing back to look at him once more - waiting, begging for an answer, but he doesnβt give you it.Β
Wiping away at your tears, you instinctively lean in to kiss him before pulling back at the very last moment, remembering only moments ago that he didn't want to. You apologise softly and wipe away at your tears again, stabilising your breaths and sinking back down to the sheets.Β
All the while, Caleb watches you, his fingers tangling in your hair as the other taps a familiar rhythm on your back.
He pulls you close, so close you feel his eyelashes on yours, even his nose brushes up against yours. You manage to scoot back to give him an appropriate amount of space, but you feel him pull you in instead.Β
Out of nowhere, his lips are on yours; soft, tender - but the moment ends as quickly as it starts. You look to him, shocked and dazed, almost questioning why he gave you something he withheld only moments ago.
Though you should be happier having finally gotten a small token of his affection for the cruel words youβve lashed onto him, you canβt help but feel even worse.Β
βHappy?β Caleb gives you his best smile, charming, relaxed - but you know better. A small breath leaves his lips as he kisses the tip of your nose, then your forehead. You don't have any more fight in you to plead your case. So you settle beside him, pulling yourself close against his chest.Β
βIβm sorry gegeβ
βI know, itβs okay"
chuu's note: I called this damage control bc he kissed mc as damage control hahaha. but then i realised they're both just doing damage control. I highkey want to make a pt2 where mc is being manipulative instead though cos I feel bad for making mc go through ts...
Getting kinda sick of seeing ppl put Durin in nsfw and then use the excuse of him being 500+ like pookie no, that was the old Durin. Durin is a reincarnation. He is not the same age as before, just the same heart.
Its literally like a heart transplant in my view. like you wouldnt call a 5 year old 57 years old just cos they got the heart of a 57 year old, would you? thats still a 5 year old with no grasp of how the world works in a 5 year old body.
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It deeply saddens me that Infold has decided to cancel Valko's debut. They have already deleted his stuff off many platforms, so I've download them all and put them on a drive folder so that other fans can access it.
You're startled by the sudden voice behind you, but more, with the way it speaks a truth you were hoping to disguise. Valko was always like this, he had a keen sense of knowing exactly what you felt, even before you registered it yourself.
You were busy cooking dinner, you really weren't ready to be confronted by Valko yet. You continue to chop away at a tomato, shaking your head as you do.
"You're lying" you can tell he's frowning with the very tone of his voice, soft, yet not too pushy. Was he afraid of getting closer?
With a sigh, you finally decide to face the problem head on, except it only disarms you with his puppy dog eyes. He wasn't even doing it on purpose.
"And how would you know?" You quirk a brow upward, attempting to sound the least bit humorous. Valko stares for a moment before pointing at his nose silently - as if his actions spoke for him. You cant help but chuckle at that, rolling your eyes.
"I know your senses are strong, but surely a nose can't smell sadness" you mutter more to yourself as you return to cutting up another tomato. Valko's face leans onto the counter to look up at you, begging for a small bit of your attention.
"It does!" He frowns once more. You scoff and reach for an onion and place it in front of his nose. He grimaces and whines like a scolded puppy before retreating back to your side.
You giggle to yourself at his reaction, a cruel move to your puppy, but necessary nonetheless. You needed space today. At least, that's what you told yourself.
"Do you really want space from me?" Valko speaks once more, this time, the hairs on your arms stand up - it really was as if he could read every emotion and thought from your mind.
"I'm not upset, Valko. Its the onion. You smelt it right? Super strong. Brings tears to your eyes"
A moment of silence ensues, and you almost believe the boy has given up until you hear him blurt it out.
"I love you"
You cant help but smile. It sounded as if it took every bit of his soul to fight the restraint in his body to say those words.
"I love you too"
The night passes by faster than usual. Its quiet tonight. You spend so much time occupied by your thoughts, you don't realise Valko has fallen asleep on the couch.
Silly boy.
He was passed out with his glasses on, his laptop still open - working, again. You sit beside him, your fingers slowly threading through the soft fur of his enormous tail. Its pliant, until he spurs in his sleep.
"Awake?"
"Barely" he mumbles, groaning for a moment as he stretches himself, only to curl back into a ball once more, facing away from you. Perhaps you deserved that.
"You find it comfy here?" You speak, your fingers still playing with his tail. Valko's ears perk up a little as he turns to look at you.
"Mn" he hums, "thought it be better... gives you space on the bed"
Your eyes meet his and his leave to the side almost immediately - almost as if he was embarrassed by saying it. But your heart sank at the words. You knew you asked for space, but you didn't want to chase him out entirely.
Especially not to a couch this uncomfortable - even if he made it look like the comfiest thing in your house to lay on.
You close your eyes and take a deep breath, you had to be brave to let him know what was on your mind. In any way, he knew it was coming as well, his tail swishing impatiently was a dead giveaway.
"I had a dream you left"
"Me?" His head snaps up again and he's already sat as if he's been given a strict command. Moments ago, he was groggy, now, he's alert and ready to go.
You nod.
"Where did i go?"
"I'm not sure exactly" you look down, "i just know that you never returned"
As your eyes grow glassy, you notice the way his ears flatten against his head, the way his tail grows limp once more. You can't bear facing him like this, you cant bear looking at him anymore.
You feel his soft touch on your hand, he guides you to lay it on his head as he rests himself comfortably on your lap. This way, when he looks up at you, you have but no choice but to look at him.
"Then, shouldn't you hold me closer? Make the most of it, y'know?" He smiles softly, reaching up to cup the side of your cheek. His thumb brushes over a stray tear that had escaped your clutches.
You want more than anything to agree with him. To do exactly that.
But you cant.
You shake your head, slow, deliberate. It was painful to even say it, but you needed to.
"If I get closer to you, losing you will be even more painful"
chuu's note: this ones for the avoidant attached girlies who were recently met with the terrible news. anyways. i'm still upset. forever will be. I told myself i would never write a character that isnt released, but this time, I had to. I wish we got to know even a little bit abt his story and character, i'm sure the devs put a lot of love into it. please come back, little wolf, i already miss you :(
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u know i see a lot of hate on infold but I really understand how stressed they are as a company to have made the decision to remove valko. I've been going on X to find out more abt the cn side, and they are just so intense. I cannot fathom hating some pixels THAT much bc it doesnt suit your fancy.
Imagine if sylus just got wiped out before debuting. like do these cn girlies NOT understand that you need to actually get a feel of a character first??? imagine lads without SYLUS? It wouldn't be the same. so why cant ppl understand that same thing could apply to Valko? do they not have the brain capacity to look toward the future or what?? I'm so confused. Its concerning they cant see things in a logical sense, really.
there was ALWAYS going to be 6 Lis. ALWAYS. the whole story was built on that premise and now a chunk of it is going to be missing. I hate seeing authors have to change the narrative for some narrow-minded people who cant trust the plot. you think valko will bring plot inconsistencies?? well I think we're going to have a whole lot more now.
honeslty as a poc idk what to feel abt the cn side anymore. ik there were many complaints abt valko; but the skin colour, facial features are what deeply affects me the most. I feel sick to my stomach thinking abt how deep rooted the issue is, how deeply they hated those aspects abt him. that boy has the smallest hint of melanin, in my eyes, barely any, and yet it was a focal point of their hatred to him - amongst many other things, sure. but its really upsetting idk. I feel so sick and gross just thinking abt it. like idek how to voice how embarrassed I am to even think we ever could've gotten a tan li. they really do hate us lol.
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I'm relatively new to the fandom but this news has genuinely made me sick to my stomach ngl.
Its so embarrassing honestly, i feel so bad for all the workers that spent time on him and the VA who was probably so excited to get the role.
storytelling should never be influenced by its viewers - its selfish and narrow minded. I was so open to seeing how they were going to develop Valko, even when I wasnt entirely convinced I'd like him from the get go.
The beauty of storytelling is trusting. And yet, these people didnt even bother waiting for his story before cancelling.
Another part of what makes this entire situation uncomfortable is that he was cancelled based on his "attractiveness"... sounds like male inc*l behaviour to me.
