wonderful tonight

lewishamilton Settling in. Thank you to the tifosi and everyone at Ferrari for the warm welcome 🫶🏾

nico hulkenberg finally slays his white whale and drags the haas flintstones car onto the podium only for the car to be disqualified for a technical breach

in the spirit of their ancestors alpine attemps crashgate 2.0 only they’re so shit they fail even at that. everyone knows what they tried to do but because they failed the fia turns a blind eye out of pity

jenson button misses a dose of xanax before presenting alongside danica patrick and finally tells her to shut up on live television

lando finally wins a race and is so delighted that he won’t let go of his trophy, even to attend the traditional english stag do of some rich dickhead he went to school with. lando passes out three sambucas into the night at which point his trophy is stolen and all of his facial hair (including eyebrows) is shaved off. the fia charges him for the replacement

king charles dies just before silverstone and george drives his car directly into the barriers out of respect

sharl breaks up with whatever brunette clone he’s dating in order to focus more on racing. two weeks later he releases a classical piano track about heartbreak and longing and confirms that it’s about the sf-24. three days after that he confirms his relationship with a woman who is practically identical to the previous girlfriend (possibly her sister, possibly just a clone)

john elkann goes full fatal attraction on lewis and shows up in his house in a silk robe, with a trail of rose petals that he’s had ethically dyed purple just for lewis

babygate hits f1 again as carlos is rumoured to be expecting another baby. he insists that it is not him as he is still a virgin

fernando alonso announces that he has found religion. three months later he submits planning permission to add a sculpture to the outside of oviedo’s cathedral of the holy saviour which is in turn renamed the cathedral of the holy saviour, san fernando

Matthew Pillsbury - Museum Hours, 2004-2010