20 Percent Cooler

But he don’t wanna ruin his night, see? Cos we’d been planning this auction for ages and he’s got a hunch this one buyer’s gunna snap up this fancy glaive we snatched off the battlefield a while back. Definitely a rare find, that one was. Everything after Dazar’alor was a mess, and we of course went scavenging the night elf corpses in Nazmir, which is where the found the glaive. Fortunately it was in good condition so we thought it’d earn a nice chunk o’ moolah at the auction in Azshara. 

Great idea in fuckin’ retrospect. How in the hell did we ever think that selling a high ranking Sentinel veteran’s glaive at an auction wouldn’t attract attention. It didn’t really occur to me until we’d killed the damned thing, but man...that thing was massive. Just massive the thing was, and the noise was something out of a nightmare, with eyes as black as this nail polish I got on. Kelsee was the one who suggested it was a druid in bear form, but that weren’t no bear formed druid I ever seen. 

Literally, it was as tall as, like, ten goblins stacked on top of each other, and it looked like a bear but had horns on it? My opinion was to just grab the merchandise and leave, but Wiggit was gunna stand his ground and prove his “manhood” so we geared up for a fight. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a fight of one ‘roided out black-eyed nelf versus an auction-house full of goblins, but it’s quite a sight to see. Of course the bitch took some of us down with him, peons for the most part, but all the organizers were, like, trained horde murderhobos. Pretty much it was a bloodbath. Quite the scene, lemme tell ya. 

Right up until about midnight it went on, I think. So we had to schedule the auction for another day, given that the buyer Wiggit was planning on taking the glaive got mauled to death. There was a silver lining, however, as we ended up carving off the druid bear’s horns and varnishing them for sale in the next auction. Understandably, we’ll have to reschedule, as the old auction house is now partially exploded, there’s enough blood and gore caking the walls for it not to be fit for anyone other than the undead, and we’re going to look into locations further from the Ashenvale border.