dani.

men will literally be like “God do you have to be such a stick in the mud, it was just a few degrading and misogynistic comments and they weren’t even about you this time”

I love art

This is the funniest thing I have ever seen

what r they going to do just glue it back on

The difference between “Fuck Buddies” and “Friends with Benefits” is which part of the relationship comes first.

If you rob a store naked as a minor, no one could look at the security footage without committing a crime

my mom has finally understood the concept of how to use “tea” as slang, but only kind of. she came into my room and said “jessie, i have tea today” and i was obviously like what happened but as it turns out she just thinks tea means information so she told me that she got avocadoes on sale. that was the tea. 

men who’ve never experienced any warlike conditions ever: “war is man’s Natural State”

OH MY GOSH what if Tumblr was an Academy, all the fandoms would have their own classes and the teachers were medieval executioners 

I like to think the first guy in a hunter/gathering type group to come up with farming had a really hard time selling it to the rest of the group like “uhh guys how about next time we find animals instead of killing them right away we round them up and *under his breath* make them fuuuuck”