You are feeling down, depression took a toll on you after your last mission... You can still hear their screams, your trauma coming back in powerful waves.
Your boyfriend, Satoru Gojo, is a clingy idiot with the emotional intelligence of a dog. He doesn't know how to react so... He tries to help the best he can to stop you from thinking about your demons... by going down on you.
You are a special grade. Always trying to make an emergency plan in case you go crazy and someone has to take you down, because you were taught to think that way, to see other people's weakness, the only hope against Satoru Gojo if went crazy. He is also the only one who could kill you. So when the question comes into your mind, he can already guess what you're about to ask him.
angst, depression, trauma, PTSD, survivor’s guilt, emotional distress, unhealthy coping mechanisms, explicit sexual content, power imbalance, obsessive behavior
Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention: the dialogue will also be marked with a dash because Latin languages and dyslexia (it's easier for me to read it that way in books, and I have free will). I also use quotation marks for thoughts.
- I can't believe you would do something like this! said the first character.
- Well, you'd better believe it, because I did, said the second character.
"He is such an idiot," she thinks.
You sit against the desk, looking absent out the window. The weather outside seems a little bit foggy and it's still raining. You are still holding the cup of tea in your hands, like you are afraid to let go, like the cup is a part of you. And somehow, you wish that it was. Maybe it would be simpler if you would be a cup of tea on a random Thursday, you wouldn't blame yourself for anything. You feel... Like a ghost right now. Not empty. Traumatized. You couldn't save them. That's a common thing for sorcerers but you are a Special Grade, for fuck's sake, this thing doesn't happen to you often. But when it does... You feel worthless. You can't save a few humans. You hurt everyone around you. You shouldn't be alive right now. The humans that died today should have taken your place.
Satoru enters your doom room. You were too lazy to go to your apartment and you prefered to sleep there anyway, it's more convinient for both of you since you are both teachers. Not a drop of rain on his clothes but he's shivering a little from the cold. It's almost winter anyway, late November, and the Infinity can't protect him from everything. It can, but not when he wants a reason to whine to his girlfriend about what a hero is he because he went shopping in weather like this. All he wants right now is to get his hug from his girlfriend... Okay, maybe some kisses to to spoil her for the rest of the evening, cook her favorite meal, cuddles all night under the blanket while watching some stupid show... Maybe... Even more. No, he needs to feed his baby first. Because you most probably haven't eaten all day. He gets his shoes off in a slow and smooth motion, still holding the shopping bag in the other hand and says:
-Hey, love! says in an awful British accent just to make you laugh. I hope you are hungry because tonightI'm making that stobhach you said you miss.I thought maybe it was time to expand my culinary skills to all cultures, just to spoil my wife better... Sorry, my future wife, he teases.
But satoru doesn't get his hug. You usually jump right into his arms before he even manages to close the door. Why didn't he get the hug? Where is his hug? Where is his baby almost knocking him over?
Then he sees it. He sees you. The sadness and emptiness in your eyes and he feels like he been hit in the stomach. He puts the bag down, the groceries spilling across the floor with a dull sound. Something is not right... Something is not right at all. You are the cleanest person he ever knows, you never leave your clothes bloody, always change right after the mission. Now... There's blood on your hoodie... That's blood on your hand. That's blood everywhere. Another punch to the stomach. Is this... Is this your blood? What the fuck happened here?
He looks around, taking off his glasses to examine the room more carefully with his Six Eyes. But there's nothing. No cursed spirits in sight. Just you in your bloody clothes. This... This is bad. He walks up to you and grabs your shoulders.
-Y/N... Did I... Did I do something?
You flinch at the sound of your name in his voice and almost drop the cup.
-Oh, thanks God... I mean, I could have always make up to you with my culinary talent... He tries to joke but there isn't even a hint of a smile on your face.
"Should I ask you? I don't think I want to ask you... I don't want to know what is going on... The question is... Do you want me to ask? Do you want to tell me... Y/N, baby, you know I am not good at this... Should I call your friend? What the fuck am I supposed to do... A joke... A joke, to test the water. Not a single joke comes to my mind when I see her like this... It's time to get the Gojo charm" he things to himself.
He gently grabs your chin with his hand, forcing you to look at him. He looks directly into your eyes and freezes... Because of the emptiness in your eyes... He can feel... death.
"I need to call someone.. I need to call an adult. Oh, come on, Satoru, you are an adult. You are a man, for fuck's sake. You really can't handle this situation? You want to spend the rest of your life with her, and you want to give up now, to leave her because you are too pussy to make her feel better after a little incident?" He thinks.
-Satoru... you manage to speak.
"Okay, this is a tricky question. I could answer with... Not as good as you killing the joy in my life with that face? No. How did I even end up here, those are the lines for Uthaime. What else... Do as good as you would kill my heart if you would be here? Okay, not bad, not bad... But, why does she ask me this... She is not hurt... The blood on her doesn't have her signature energy so is not hers. Y/N, oh my fucking god... She wants me to kill her. She did something... She has this look on her face because she did something which killed her from inside and now she wants me to destroy her from the outside..."
Another painful knod in his stomach makes him forget how to breathe for a brief second.
-Yes, but not as good as you would kill my heart if you would disappear from my life...
He doesn't say it with the usually playfulness, the words don't come out with the charisma he intended. He can't. He says it like the truth. He doesn't let you answer, he puts a hand on your waist and pulls you pulls you against his chest, stealing your lips in a disperate kiss.
"Don't fucking say it... Don't fucking ask... I don't want to know... If you did something wrong, if you did something illegal... If I have to kill you... I will kill everyone else except you... No... I don't want to hear anything else," he thinks.
He kisses you with passion, pouring the fear of losing you into the kiss. When you both are breathless, he pulls away, only to continue with some slow kisses in your jaw moving down on your neck.
-You didn't hug me today, I think you deserve to be punished... He whispers, his breath hot against your skin already making you shiver.
He lifts you in one smooth, quick motion and sets you on the desk, the cup you were holding earlier now forgotten on the edge. His hands explore your waist, every movement calculated to leave you breathless.
-Satoru... I am serious... You try to say, your breath already heavier than before.
That's a good sign. He kisses your neck again, nipping lightly at the pulsing point just enough to make you thrill.
-Me too, his lips brush against your skin.
"You will need more then that to make make me fall into that trap. I am not getting rid of you today, or ever, Y/N" he thinks.
He pulls your hoodie down, his kisses now spreading over your collarbone.
-Okay, let me ask you this way... You try to intervene, not giving him any sign that he should back off, but you don't get to finish your train of thought because he grabs your hips rough enough to almost leave bruises, making you feel exactly how much he usually wants you, cutting you off.
"Let me make you feel good baby... Let me make you forget... Let me take your pain away..."
And he rips your pants in a single motion. His touch and his entire attitude became more desperate, not desire, even though, oh, God, he wants you, but no, from fear. From the fear that he won't be able to pretend that he doesn't hear, that he doesn't know. Of the fear that he won't be able to live with himself if he hears the sincere words you are about to say.
-What did you say, baby? He pushes everything off the desk with Blue and gently lays you back. Do you want me... To make you feel good? He kisses your stomach. To make you scream my name until you hoarse? The kisses go down on her abdomen dangerously close to her pelvis. Because, Y/N, I can assure you that you will get exactly that.
-No, not this. I... I lost my control today... I couldn't...
-How about I make you lose control?
But you can't resist, you shiver at very touch, breathing heavily, wanting more, because Satoru knows exactly what he's doing, he knows exactly how to provoke you, what buttons to push to make you whimper.
-Yes, Y/N? His breath bruising against your clit already.
-You don't have to do this... She said it, your cheeks flushing slightly , but that's not real meaning behind your words. You clearly want him to continue.
-Oh, but I want... I am a starving man, Y/N, and you are the main course... He said before diving into your most sensitive place.
You're already wet, already too warm for him to pull back, but feeling his lips move like that... his tongue making those torturous motions... slowly up and down your lips, teasing your entrance just enough to make you whimper for more.
"Okay... I can do this... I can make her forget about all of that shit..." He thinks.
He pulls away, only to lick two fingers, looking straight into your eyes with those goddamn blue eyes that leave you breathless. He brushes them along your clit, then pushes them inside you, making you gasp and clutch at his hair.
Oh, God, he loves those sounds. Only he can make you feel like this, only he can make you make those sounds... Only he. Only he can see you like like this, taste you like this... feel your sweetness on his mouth and fingers. And of course... he doesn't stop.
"So sweet... My Y/N... My everything." He thinks.
He grabs your hip with the other hand pulling you closer of him and his cursed mouth. He dives into you again, taking his time to turn your world upside down in the most pleasant way possible. His tongue between your folds, licking all the right places, teasing the swollen bud at the front of your clit, making you clutch his hair even harder. He doesn't stop, just growns against your flesh, the vibration making you arch your back. His fingers continue their perfect rhythm, steady pressure stimulating exactly the right spots, already making you gasp and moan softly. He isn't bothered by you grabbing him a little rough, he doesn't mind a bit of pain. He clearly enjoys it. His fingers push deeper. Those damn fingers, why should they be so long... He steals your breath again with every thrust. He increases the rhythm, his tongue pressing perfectly against that sensitive point between your legs, his fingers moving in and out in a reckless, torturous motion in the sweetest way possible, making your legs shake. He doesn't stop until he feel you clench tightly around his fingers, your walls contracting in rhythmic waves, making you moan louder that you are proud of. But no... He doesn't stop then either, only slowing down, drawing the orgasm out of you along the longest path possible, pulling you even closer to his mouth so he can feel every tremor of pleasure as he continues to assault your clit with his tongue.
He finally stops when he feels you go soft in his hands. He pulls away only to pull you into his chest and kiss you. He slips an arm under your thighs and lifts you up, carrying you bridal-style to the couch and gently laying you down. He lets you rest just long enough to catch your breath, then goes to your room to get you some clothes and a blanket. When he comes back, he kneels in front of you and dresses you slowly, kissing you tenderly as he goes. Then he wraps you in the blanket like a cocoon.
-Satoru, baby... What are you doing? You try to caress his neck before being tuck into the blanket.
-A burrito... He replies in a playful voice, his eyes focused on wrapping you perfectly into that blanket.
"My sad burrito" he thinks.
You let you a short laugh but he doesn't stop. Because only when he hears your laugh he can truly breathe again.
-Didn't you say you are going to cook for me? You ask, because after that orgasm you now realise how empty your stomach really is.
-Oh, ya, totally. But I want my emotional-support burrito... Just to make conversation and to look pretty... He boops your nose then kisses you softly. How hungry are you?
-You really ask me that? I think my guts and stomach started to create their own language to unionize against me.
-Well... I was asking myself if you would let your boyfriend hold you close for a few minutes before cooking you your royal meal, your majesty. He mocks, the usual grin on his face.
-Okay... 10 minutes. Only 10.
You would lift your arms to welcome him into your embrace but he wrapped you too tight into that blanket. Satoru lies down next to you and pulls you into his arm, holding you close, still afraid of losing you.
Well... I started this project to motivate myself to write, practice English writing and erotica. I am a little scared ngl. This is a part of many scenes inspired from my jjk fanfiction (which I never published, but which lives rent-free in my head lol).
The original idea was for this scene to be the first time he gives her head, but that didn't sit right with the characters. I mean, come on, he's a menace, but he wouldn't actually do a first in a moment like that.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and let me know what you think! Your support and feedback would mean a lot to me and really help me continue this journey.
Even though I have the impression that no one will make it this far...
If you want to be up to date with similar stories that I do and more notes you can check my full story on Wattpad.
