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@kris-shinnie-pride
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most loyal defense assistant
and his pet booger
(part 1)
he would be the worst defendant ever
(part 2)
ruthye tries ice cream

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a night out 🍻
Pro-censorship wattpad refugees drama is so funny to me because when I started using ao3 as a kid I was a devout mormon and I thought that reading anything even remotely pornagraphic was a sin and would ruin my life. So when I was 13 and found ao3 I went "oh awesome I found a fanfic website with a filtering system so I won't ever randomly stumble into porn. This is great! I was really worried about seeing something I didn't want to see on the other platforms." I didn't read any smut online until like three years later. If a mormon 13 year old can figure out 'don't like don't read' wattpad users can too cmon you guys i believe in you.
the gif is even funnier
secret organizations for studying paranormal phenomena are always calling the creatures they find like "specimen 58008" or some fake latin taxonomy or something vague and ominous like "the red angel" or whatever and thats all well and good but i want a story about a bunch of cryptozoologists going around naming things the way people name like actual birds and lizards and shit.
i want to get lost in the woods and meet the ring-tailed tree creeper and roger's false elk. i want a character who is desperate to prove this monster is actually a distinct species from that very similar looking monster so they can name it after themself. i want two field researchers narrowly escaping an encounter with some ten foot tall thing made of carnivorous vines and one of them is like wow wait til the guys back at the lab hear we got that close to a lesser thorn-backed bone eater 🙂 and the other scientist is like.,...... 😰lesser?

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really recommend getting a partner with a different religion than you and very little knowledge of your religion because the opportunities for explaining things to each other are just exquisite
yesterday she told me some story about the Buddha's wife and child and I was like. Wait. He fucked? And she was like yeah of course he fucked, why wouldn't he, he was the most attractive and loveable and and wise and etc. person who ever lived. why would he not fuck.
this morning she looked perplexed in the kitchen at me and said "did Jesus not fuck?"

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you can honestly be having the worst day of your life, open tumblr and there's your long time mutual who has recently gotten really into toy story yaoi just posting away
does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person
wow