I don't know what I'm doing

I really wanted to show how I see what is happens to bloodymary right after the moment when Grace takes Simon from the bloody ocean I feel like I want it to be creepy and disturbing.

"oh god he's awful"

"awfully cute ^^"

-

"he fucking bit me!"

"dawwww, he's saying 'i wuv u' ^^"

"no the fuck he's not??"

-

"why is my son in a cage ><"

"because he growled at me"

*kakashi proceeds to snarl and growl while positioned on all fours*

-

kakashi is objectively a cute kid. unfortunately his personality resembles that of a small, shit-eye dog that isn't housebroken in fact does not endear him to the vast majority of konoha. the exceptions?

sakumo (of course)

orochimaru (who finds him to be a unique specimen he would like to look at on the inside but won't out of respect and fear of sakumo),

tsunade (who will growl back)

and minato (who is just as crazy, if not more, than kakashi is).

Gojokashi Week 2025.

Day 1: Gojo in Naruto.

AU: Sakumo didn't become a piñata only because the village would be completely lost with his two children running loose.

Kakaobi Week 2026.

Day 1: Parents or Parental Figures.

Trying to connect with the team’s child prodigy by asking him what his (in)famous father was like, it’s not going well

Text inspired from:

Kakashi: ...

this is legitimately one of my top five favorite kakashi scenes.

i love seeing kakashi break the rules in the name of doing the right thing, and this scene especially is particularly satisfying to me, because his moment of defiance here is, to my mind, long overdue.  

one of my eternal frustrations in early naruto is how the leaf village administration gives kakashi the job of caring for a group of super high-needs children and then continually makes that job as difficult for him as possible.  they task him with being solely responsible for the development and well-being of three twelve year-olds - a group that includes naruto (a walking disaster with a god’s power trapped inside his body) and sasuke (a genocide survivor fixated on killing his own brother), BOTH of whom are being hunted by different groups of supercriminals - and then the village keeps getting in kakashi’s way or dropping the ball or actively ordering him to prioritize other things.  

so much of what goes wrong with the kids in this period is the result of other people interfering with kakashi’s work or being negligent or endangering the kids/putting kakashi in impossible positions.  team 7’s first big mission sets the tone for everything that comes after, with someone else’s lie putting kakashi in a situation where he has to single-handedly protect not just the client who deceived him, but the three children who were supposed to be the clients’ other protectors.  and after that, the list just multiplies:

ten anbu operatives can’t manage to protect sasuke’s hospital room from orochimaru’s minions, so kakashi has to do it himself and then whisk sasuke out of the village for a month, leaving naruto in the hands of a substitute and sakura with her parents

genma orders sasuke to chase after gaara when the chunin exams blow up, saying “you’re at chunin level already,” which forces kakashi to immediately dispatch more kids to bring him back, because “ffs NO i do NOT want him out there doing that why the fuck would you tell him to do that?!” 

aoba runs his mouth off about itachi when sasuke is standing RIGHT THERE, instantly undoing all the work kakashi just did to prevent itachi and sasuke from coming anywhere near each other (and thus sending sasuke to that disastrous first encounter, the outcome of which ultimately leads to sasuke’s defection)

jiraiya decides he should let sasuke try to fight itachi himself, “out of respect for the boy’s feelings,” leading to sasuke ending up in a tsukuyomi coma

tsunade orders kakashi to drop his teaching work and leave the village on a mission even though a) he’s just gotten out of his own torture-induced coma and b) sasuke is having a crisis that kakashi is trying to manage

and then when kakashi gets back from that mission and finds out that surprise, all of this meddling has led to a disaster, tsunade tries to order him away AGAIN

but this time - he just says no.

he walks right out of her office.  he turns his back on her.  and there is NOTHING i love more than seeing kakashi embody the philosophy that he’s chosen to adopt as his guiding light: those who break the rules are scum.  but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.

it’s not that he doesn’t understand where tsunade is coming from here.  but he knows she’s wrong.  she’s making her decisions based solely on concerns about the Leaf Village being in a tight spot - feeling like they can’t turn down missions because they’ll appear weak and thus become vulnerable to attack when they’re already operating at half strength.  she sends a group of twelve year-olds to bring sasuke back because supposedly the village can’t spare anyone else, “even if it means letting the sharingan fall into orochimaru’s hands” - but like.  it’s not the sharingan.  it’s a child.  sasuke isn’t just a repository for his hereditary jutsu; he’s not a pair of eyes to be passed around from one wielder to the next.  he’s a human child.  

tsunade doesn’t know sasuke.  she’s new to the situation and doesn’t know enough about it to understand how serious it is.  i don’t even think she was still in the village when the uchiha massacre occurred; the timeline makes it sound like she left long before that.  she doesn’t really understand who sasuke is or how much trouble he’s in - she makes her decision because she feels like her first priority has to be the well-being of the Leaf as a whole, not the individual people who comprise it.  kakashi, though, who a) lives his life by a very different philosophy and b) does understand sasuke’s situation, would not have dealt with the issue like this, and if the village had let him do his job from the beginning, things wouldn’t have gotten to this point in the first place.

kakashi is horrified that tsunade sent a bunch of twelve year-olds out to fight orochimaru’s ninja, and i think he’s also probably angry and/or frustrated about having been ordered out of the village in the first place.  he was dealing with the situation before tsunade sent him away.  he interrupted the fight between sasuke and naruto even though he himself had literally just gotten out of the hospital, and then he continued addressing the issue with sasuke privately (unlike jiraiya’s non-attempt to address it with naruto, when he said he was going to give naruto a talking-to but actually flaked out).  kakashi knew sasuke was struggling, and he was doing all the things a teacher is supposed to do to address it, but then he was ordered away, and even though it was just for two days, it was enough time for everything to go to hell.

if people would just let him do his job - if the administration would let him focus on the task they themselves assigned to him - things would be different.  but everybody wants him to do everything.  they want him to be everywhere.  they want him to protect the nine-tails jinchuriki (who is also kakashi’s dead teacher’s son), and train the last surviving uchiha (which is a task only kakashi and his sharingan can perform), and give equal attention to a third kid, for good measure, and they want him to do it without stepping away from any of his other burdens, all while other people around him constantly frustrate the progress he makes.

so this time, when tsunade tries to send him away, he refuses.  he disobeys her orders and walks out of the room.  he doesn’t care about the rules or what he’s “legally” obligated to do.  he knows what the RIGHT thing to do is, and so he rejects his new mission in favor of rescuing the kids.

i love these moments.  i love when we’re shown so clearly the person kakashi has chosen to be - someone who does what’s right, not just what he’s told.  he made an active choice many years ago to adopt that philosophy, and he’s been living by those new rules ever since.  he’s wiser now than he was when he was a child - sometimes you have to break ranks to do the right thing.  sometimes you have to buck the system, even if it means you might face severe personal consequences.

he had one of two choices: either save the mission or his comrades.  of course, according to the law of the village, you cannot abandon a mission.  but to save the life of his comrades, he put the mission on hold.

okay, let’s just recap.

three years ago, little kakashi came to the third hokage and said “your second-in-command is plotting to assassinate you.  i know this because he encouraged me to steal confidential documents about your whereabouts so he could ambush you on your next journey.”  danzo made the predicted attempt on sarutobi’s life; it failed because of kakashi’s intel; and then when sarutobi got back to his office and saw danzo sitting in his chair prematurely celebrating his supposed death, sarutobi did…nothing.  the most powerful man in the village looked away, and danzo retained all of his power and suffered no consequences.

three years after that, teenage kakashi comes to the third hokage again - beaten, bleeding, poisoned - and says “your second-in-command just tried to kill me.  i’m afraid he’s going to retaliate against the child who refused to finish the job.”  when he begs the most powerful man in the village to do something about this, sarutobi is almost…TAKEN ABACK at being asked to act.  he hesitates, sighs, and eventually, finally, sends yugao to the foundation with a note for danzo to come see him.

a note.

so kakashi - who knows that danzo got away with this shit before, who knows that the foundation’s sentries are just going to brush yugao off, who knows that a note is not going to save yamato in time - takes matters into his own hands.  the third hokage tells him to go to the hospital, and kakashi lies to him, saying that he will.  “yes, sir,” he says, and then he goes straight to the foundation, where he breaks into the forbidden facility, incapacitates danzo’s guards, rescues yamato from the lab where he’s lying shackled to an examination chair, and attempts to fight all of danzo’s forces AND danzo himself on his way out the door.  he literally confronts konoha’s equivalent of the vice president (a man who just tried to have kakashi killed), after lying to the actual president, while trespassing in bowels of the cia.  he commits TREASON.  he breaks every rule on the books, because THOSE WHO BREAK THE RULES ARE SCUM, BUT THOSE WHO ABANDON THEIR FRIENDS ARE WORSE THAN SCUM.

and then, when sarutobi finally does show up (at which point he witnesses danzo attacking two young teenagers, when he already knows that danzo tried to have kakashi murdered for as-yet-unclear reasons), the most powerful man in the village once again does NOTHING.  he uses the situation to leverage yamato out of the foundation, and once the valuable wood-style user is in his own hands (how convenient for him), he lets everything else go, saying “we’ll consider this settled amicably.”  he doesn’t hold danzo accountable for a single thing.  there are NO consequences to anything danzo did.  sarutobi KNOWS yamato is a product of orochimaru’s experiments, and he doesn’t ask danzo a single thing about that.  he KNOWS danzo ordered a hit on kakashi, and he lets him walk away with all of his power and resources intact - while kakashi is right there watching!  danzo tried to have kakashi killed, and the third hokage knows he did that, and it doesn’t matter.  

what does that tell kakashi about how little his life is worth?  how expendable is he, how insignificant is his suffering, that one of the village’s leaders can just make an attempt on his life without fear of reprisal?  how unimportant is kakashi, ultimately, if the village’s second-in-command can try to have him murdered, and the first-in-command can just handwave it away and tell kakashi to forget it happened?  

the fact that kakashi in the present day continues to suffer for this man’s sins (and the fact that i suspect he’s also going to end up being the person responsible for cleaning up this man’s mess) makes me so frustrated.  kakashi, when he was just a CHILD, gave the hokage everything he needed to put a stop to danzo’s misdeeds long before his crimes culminated in the uchiha massacre.  kakashi came to the third hokage again and again with proof of serious abuses; he sounded the alarm, once, twice; he gave the third hokage all the information necessary to stop this train before danzo drove it off a cliff.  the third hokage knew - because kakashi told him so - that danzo ordered kakashi to steal confidential documents, that he tried to have sarutobi assassinated, that he tried to have teenage kakashi killed, that he was secretly in possession of a wood-style user who had been kidnapped by orochimaru as an infant and experimented upon.  it’s not like sarutobi didn’t believe these accusations - he knew they were true.  he just actively chose to let all of it slide.  he kept danzo at his side, kept looking the other way, until his leniency (his cowardice) led to a genocide.

sarutobi is the hokage.  he’s the most powerful man in the village.  he’s the one with the ability and the authority to stop his subordinates from hurting other people, and when it’s brought to his attention - multiple times, by a child - that danzo is, in fact, hurting other people, it’s sarutobi’s responsibility to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.  kakashi is just a teenager, one whose own life is in such a shambles it’s a miracle he’s even functional enough to take this amount of action; and he’s been targeted by danzo specifically because he’s so vulnerable - when a foundation ninja tells danzo that attacking a member of the uchiha to steal the sharingan will be high-risk, danzo responds, “there is one with the sharingan who is not an uchiha, who has neither parents nor teachers” - ie, there’s someone out there who is all alone.  kakashi has no parents to take care of him, no teachers to protect him, no clan to back him up.  he’s targeted because he doesn’t have the power or the connections of the uchiha clan, and because danzo thinks no one will kick up a fuss or ask inconvenient questions when he “accidentally” dies in the field.  kakashi is the injured antelope separated from the herd.  he’s what danzo sees as an easy mark.  it’s easier to murder an orphaned, sensei-less teenager than it is to take on one of the the most powerful clans in the village, and danzo, expecting that sarutobi will avert his eyes from most of his dirty work, is not afraid to attempt to kill a child and loot his body for parts.

it’s infuriating to me, how right danzo is about this.  kakashi begs the third hokage for help, and sarutobi responds with the absolute least amount of assistance possible.  he’s worse than useless.  he’s worse than danzo, even, because he’s so self-deluded.  danzo is evil, but he doesn’t lie to himself about who and what he is - whereas the third hokage, on the other hand, genuinely sees himself as a benevolent patriarch who loves his people and “takes care” of the village’s children, when really he’s a coward who lets orochimaru and danzo get away with murder.  

kakashi, as a child, goes far beyond the scope of his own responsibilities in order to stop danzo from hurting people, long before things get to the point where we’re at now.  he does everything within his limited power, and whenever he takes his concerns to the person who’s truly responsible for dealing with the situation, the third hokage is like “thanks for bringing this to my attention; don’t worry; i’ll handle it from here.”  but after the crisis, behind the scenes, sarutobi’s version of “handling it” just looks like letting danzo continue to do whatever he wants, up until the moment when danzo exterminates an entire ethnic group, at which point it’s too late.  AND THEN SARUTOBI COVERS FOR HIM, EVEN THEN.

kakashi has spent his entire life picking up messes that the third hokage made, and i do mean his Entire Life - sarutobi was hokage during the previous generation’s time, too, and he clearly was just as unwilling to intervene when one of his most respected jonin was being publicly harassed and driven to suicide as he is about everything happening in the present day.  sarutobi has spent decades declining to act when the situation called for courage, and his legacy is precisely what kakashi describes to tazuna in the land of waves arc: “to know what is right and choose to ignore it is the act of a coward.”  

wizard kakashi