Moonchild

If i don't talk about it and i just show it, is it ok for you?

When I think about Kim and Chay I cannot imagine any other possible ending than what the show gave us.

I know this will be an unpopular opinion but it is essentially so poetically beautiful and KP does like to play like this.

Their story starts and ends (temporarily) with a song. With Chay listening to Wik at the beginning and to Kim at the end using his song to get his feelings across.

And I know for a lot of people what Kim does is not enough.

What is the use of writing a song? Should he not be direct and confront Chay and tell him what he feels exactly? Should he not tell how sorry he is and apologize?

But that wouldn't be Kim, being direct and talking about his emotions is not his style.

But a song is perfect because Chay will understand, the point will get across.

Because Chay knows Wik and Kim, deep within his soul, all of it, the good and the bad. Because he saw the videos, he knows the songs, he remembers all of it.

And a conversation would not have the same effect.

Because you see, Chay knows about writing songs, he knows how hard a thing it is to do. He knows you can't write your heart out if you don't feel enough love that it's impossible to contain.

Because being inspired by someone, being creative because of someone is something he understands, he understands how the words won't come if your feelings are not enough and just how much it takes to bare yourself for the world to see.

Because in the end, what Kim is really doing is this: screaming out his love for the world to see.

And in the end what Chay sees is this, the spark he ignited in Kim produced this

A song just for him

An act of creation

A gift of inspiration

It may not have been the ending some people wanted but it was the most fitting, the most true to themselves. It’s a language they both understand and carry within their hearts. For Kim to reach all the way to Chay’s heart, for Chay to be able to hear Kim over his pain, to say the difficult and important things (such as “I love you” and “i’m sorry”) and have them be understood, what better way could there possibly be than a song?

This song is everything, both love and an apology. This song is a bridge for him to open a path back up to Chay who had closed himself off.

It’s also so fitting because at the start of the story when Chay listens to a song it’s Wik, it’s Wik in Chay’s heart, and now it’s Kim this time saying “it’s me now, it’s Kim, it’s real and open”. He reveals himself in a manner they both know and first connected through, kind of like ‘I was in your heart before, will you let me in once more (but as Kim and all myself in it’s entirety, all that I’m revealing to you now)’.

(Based on iQiyi's subtitles), these are Chay's lyrics:

🎵 It's you

It's because of you

No matter what misery I've faced

I will keep walking

No matter when

Just hold me a little longer, even though it hurts

I'm gonna be alright 🎵

And these are Kim's lyrics for the chorus (based on iQiyi's subtitles):

🎵 It's you

It's because of you

Even if we face a world without stars

But we both will overcome that

No matter for how long

Embrace me, there's just the two of us for tonight

Why don't you stay? 🎵

I think it's neat that Chay was able to convince Kim to stay the first time with this pretty little melody and now Kim is trying to apologize/bridge the gap between them using the same pretty little melody with slightly different lyrics.

Irony of ironies, Chay was better at cutting ties with Kim than the other way around

And this video/song comes around the time Chay is unhappy with pursuing music because one of his biggest inspirations broke his heart

And not a nipple lick but just as unhinged

The thing which occurred to me during all this introspection about Porsche and his loyalties in my previous meta is that I and a lot of people in this fandom are being remiss in not trusting Kinn enough. He is the main piece and so far he has not openly declared which side his loyalties lie. And that is because no one is quite daring enough to challenge him and have him choose the other side.

Now that might at first sound like bad news for Porsche but it is quite frankly the exact opposite. Kinn starts the game firmly in Korn’s court and then starts oving towards Porsche’s side. Every time there is a conflict with Porsche, Kinn does exactly what Korn asks him to do. That changes in ep 7. Korn explicitly tells him to come back to his old self and Kinn does the exact opposite and entrenches himself more in his relationship with Porsche. That is the first time he disobeys. And that leads to an interesting shift in his and Korn’s interactions. Korn changes his entire approach to their relationship. He is neutral during the Tawan debacle, then reluctantly agreeing and then finally almost enthusiastically supportive. And this development is almost exactly proportionate to the deepening of Kinn and Porsche’s relationship. The more they love each other, the less Korn challenges Kinn to stand against Porsche. So while I believe he is using Kinn to control Porsche, he is also using Porsche to control Kinn.

Which brings me to the motive behind Korn and Porsche holding themselves back. While Porsche is doing this because he literally cannot bear to hurt Kinn, Korn is doing this because a status quo is the only way he can maintain his winning hand. Cuz let’s face it, when we imagine what could happen if Kinn is forced into such a situation where he has to choose between Korn and Porsche, Korn is the one who has a losing hand. In such a situation, if the truth is heinous enough, we know Kinn would not stop Porsche. Oh he would probably stop him from going to the extent of killing his father but he would not stand in the way of anything else. In that situation, Porsche could rightly demand justice or he could offer forgiveness, he could leave and take Kinn with him. Maybe he wouldn’t have a full win because Kinn would still be hurt but it would be a win nonetheless. But Korn on the other hand? Say Porsche exposes the truth - he would lose Kinn altogether. Say he turns Kinn against Porsche and tells him to eliminate him - there are two possibilities here, one, Kinn doesn’t (let’s face it, no one believes Kinn could actually shoot Porsche even in the face of an obvious betrayal), in which case Porsche wins and two, where Kinn does, in which case Porsche also wins albeit in a more tragic manner (because killing Porsche would completely destroy Kinn and Korn would be left with an unhinged, destroyed man as his heir, forever living in fear of Kinn discovering the truth).

So for Korn, it is of optimal importance that the balance be not upset at the moment which is why I believe he seemed so happy to see them so loved up at the end. He needs them to distract each other enough to not call him out on his bullshit because the moment one of them do, his house of cards are gonna come tumbling down. And if I were in Korn’s position, I would have realised how unstable this solution was. And I think he does realise that, which is why he blatantly endangers Kinn’s life like that. In fact, I think he is aiming to consolidate his powers through Kinn and Porsche and then take them out of the game and instate Kim as the final successor. Except he doesn’t realise that would never happen cuz -

a. Kim left this life behind voluntarily and he is onto Papa Korn.

b. It is obvious from even that 10 sec clip that he loves and cares about Kinn a lot.

I know, I know- I went right for the jugular with that title. at first glance, this might look like a KinnPorsche finale hit piece...an "oh, y'all thought this was a HEA?" before I throw a bucket of gore all over your warm fuzzies, Carrie-style.

in reality? this is a long-form love letter to perhaps the most meticulously-constructed show I've seen in years- Asian, Western, European, etc., et. al. period, fin, full stop.

if there's an idea that KinnPorsche has driven home over and over again, it's that more than one thing can be true at once. that idea has never been more overt than in the finale.

something can be immensely satisfying, hella romantic, quietly appalling, empowering, and like a waking nightmare- all at once. for me, the finale was every one of these things- just maybe not for the reasons you'd expect. in summary: have a little faith before reaching for the pitchforks (thanks in advance).

but first: a little history, a little fandom

some background before we jump into the, as @dancinbutterfly likes to say, "it's about the DRAMATURGY"- of it all. I've been going into every piece of media for years now with as close to the inverse of expectations as you can get, because she has been burned and then some. I've been in fandom of all sorts for many, many moons. perpetual disappointment followed by headcannoning fixes are old friends, and I know them well.

I dumbed this show down before it even began, at no fault of the story or crew or anything else. eliminating my expectations before the word 'go' is just something that happens automatically. if you had told me pre-KP that a quasi-porn-with-feels, Thai-BL-meets-the-mafia show would shock me out of my media coma, I would've just giggled and said "sure, Jan".

that's exactly what happened, though: week after week, this show gave and gave and gave some more. unapologetic queer horniness on full display? here; take it. you want a light, joyful relationship in contrast to perhaps the most intoxicatingly-toxic one you've ever seen? sure, we got that too. how about fascinating moral quandaries and a dark, twisty thread of mystery running throughout? we got you covered and then some.

and oof, that mystery. the possibilities, the implications? the personal ramifications for these characters we were falling in love with? crumbs were suddenly being dropped from a table I forgot could have so much food on it, and I grabbed onto as many morsels as I could get my greedy little hands on.

we all did: the sheer amount of god-tier analysis and meta this fandom created is a testament to that. this show awoke something in our brains that made the collective talent shine brighter than I've seen in a fandom in a long while (Bad Buddy is a close second).

and then- the Finale™

but the real pièce de résistance here: the part of this horny, batshit beauty of a story that puts this show front and center in my mental hall of fame? that finale. pardon the crassness, but it's very much warranted here: that FUCKING FINALE. it was more than the sum of its parts, while simultaneously being the EXACT sum in a whispering, "are-you-paying-attention?" kind of way.

it confirmed little red flags I didn't even trust I was really seeing, which, sure- that's just good writing, solid storytelling. but then it said "nah- we're not done", and stuck the landing so intelligently, it elevated the rest of the story past my wildest expectations. thanks to the finale, I know that my rewatches (yeah, it'll be plural- move along) will be a perpetual mind-fuck affectionate.

it set up us for a likely-explosive second season, with as much potential for greatness as there is for Shakespearean levels of tragedy. without that 81-minute magnum opus, I doubt I would’ve been compelled to write this monster in the first place.

so let's get into the impact of the finale by taking a closer look at the most important players- starting with our sex-on-a-stick (I had to), second-in-command himself.

without further ado: you ready for a deep dive?

kiss me so that I forget myself. I close my eyes & fall in the abyss. -Kamand Kojouri

the title for this meta- Tragedy Dressed Like a Daydream- was inspired by Porsche's iconic walk down the hallway, cementing his new status as he symbolically ascends his throne.

my first thought during this scene- besides the obvious serve-CUNT-king- was, "that's a man who's walking to the gallows- he just doesn't know it yet."

I agree with a lot of your points about how Korn essentially manipulated all the players in order to place them where he wanted them to be. And he was fantastic in doing so, chef’s kiss. But I do also want to highlight why he was able to do it because of the intrinsic way both Kinn and Porsche function character wise Kinn has been molded all his life to take Korn’s place but I think an even greater impact on his whole sense of trust in himself has been due to the whole Tawan debacle. That whole thing made him question himself even more and he came to rely Korn’s approval even more than he previously did Porsche is both extremely insecure and used to self-sacrifice for those who he loves(thinking about how he thinks he has to live only for Porchay). You take these two characters together, one that has been burned by placing his trust and loving the wrong person and another who has never loved anyone romantically before, and you make them fall in love and you know what they do? They make themselves go blind. Purposefully. Because they are too scared to lose what they never thought they could have again/ever. And again and again we have seen Kinn and Porsche hide themselves in a bubble ever since episode 8. Something can force them out but they just venture outside for a moment and then go hide there again. And that is the emotional playground Korn is working on and how he can so easily put them where he wants. Because I do think they are also letting themselves be manipulated because it does fit their interests. As long as it doesn’t touch them too much they are happy to just sweep everything under the rug and go ahead with their lives. And this is one of the main differences between Kinn and Porsche and Vegas and Pete and why the narrative ends the way it does for both couples. Because Kinn and Porsche may find it easier to hide themselves, because they are at least for now relatively safe in their positions; but this does not apply for Vegas and Pete for two main reasons essentially, they are too fucked up, too grounded in the hurt and the real world to even think about hiding themselves away and forget the outside world they were forced to confront both their problems individually as well as together. They were forced to strip bare in order to go on in doing so, in “losing”, they found the autonomy to make their choices

Now to take one of your lines, two things can be true at the same time, I would like to offer an optimistic interpretation of the below lines

and do you believe him? if you believe him, you have to be on the main family's side. if not- we're on a different sides. I'm not on the main family's side. I'm not on the minor family's side. I'm on your side.

@liyazaki, I'm utterly blown away by this entire analysis, not only because you put into words why this show hasn't been able to leave my (and many other's) mind, not only because you so accurately described the feeling it left us with, but because you also got me thinking about the aftermath in ways that hadn't occurred to me before.

For the past week I've been wondering nonstop where the story could go from here, what direction they'll take it. But let me start with the part of your post that really got my synapses snapping:

we're well-aware that Korn is a master manipulator. he knows his sons' strengths and weaknesses like the back of his hand. what really makes Korn a force to be reckoned with is his patience. he's been using his knowledge of how to utilize his sons- like the tools I believe he sees them to be- for a very, very long time.

This brought to mind all the analyses that have been made regarding Kinn's capability of being a leader, and how Kim would be a better one if he hadn't essentially defected from the line of succession (unlike Prince Harry, however, his Person would be the reason he comes back). What I don't often see--and that may be due to faults of my own and the algorithm--is discourse on how Tankhun might have been an even BETTER leader than both Kinn and Kim. Since Korn has indeed been playing the long game, couldn't it then be said that he might have a hand in Khun's kidnappings?

We've seen that Khun is rational and logical when he wants to be. We've seen how perceptive he is when he asks Kim point blank whether he's at the main house to visit or spy. He looks after his babies as much as is within his capabilities. He also wasn't surprised to hear Kinn and Porsche were dating, but was more awestruck at the fact that Kinn had used the word "love". Other moments come to mind as well, but I don't want to get too longwinded. The point is, it aligns with Korn's game to put the son that's easier to influence in the position of power by making the rightful heir emotionally and mentally unfit to do so.

For the next few bits, I wanna' play devil's advocate, and I think what I'm gonna' say kinda' aligns with what @ellaspore says at the end of her reblog:

@liyazaki: there's also the issue of who Porsche is, and the question of if he did possess full autonomy here- i.e. if Korn wasn't making his moves for him from the shadows- would this be the choice he'd make? does it align with who he is- or, at least, with who he used to be?

Even though we've watched Porsche go from swindling street kid to soft boyfriend and lethal weapon, how is it that we--as viewers, not simply fans--can't agree on whether this decision was soundly made or not?

We can say he did it to stay beside Kinn, but I feel like that oversimplifies such a significant decision to make. Even though for the majority of the show Porsche has been an act-before-you-think kinda' person, imagine with me for a minute that this one decision, he did it with intent.

Porsche left the main family, quit his job as a bodyguard when the only inkling of truth he had was that the car accident story was a cover up. He turned his back on Korn, would have probably done the same to Kinn if Kinn hadn't followed him. And the only reason he came back wasn't just because Kinn convinced him, but because he knew Korn was still lying to him.

But what if he had turned the position to lead down? He's heard from Gun and Korn what happened to his mother after she left: she was sent for again, her husband accused of "knowing too much"--whatever that means--and shot, and has been hidden away for (not doing the math)-years. That could eventually be Porsche's fate if he left.

So are we to believe he took the leadership position without having taken all of this into consideration, especially that up until the end he doubted Korn and held a gun to him until Kinn reminded him he's still here for him? Even this interaction gives me an idea of what direction the story might go in season 2, but I'll give my hopes (who am I kidding, it's wishful thinking until I see a season 2 trailer) later.

What I'm trying to get at is that YES, it does make sense that Porsche would take up this position, whether by his own free will or not. Though it once would have stood against everything we know he believes in, but if he hadn't taken this opportunity to keep his enemy close wouldn't we have found it too strange that he turns it down and instead asks Korn to let him take Nampheung and Chay to live out the rest of their lives as one happy family? To brush everything under the rug in a more permanent manner than remaining in the eye of the storm? Now that would have seemed more uncharacteristic of him than doing what he ultimately did.

@liyazaki: if Porsche was walking to the metaphorical gallows unaware, Kinn is living on the knife’s edge, not realizing how incredibly precarious his newfound happiness is. he has faith in a foundation that doesn't exist. he's been drinking from a poisoned well all his life, and he's unwittingly invited Porsche to partake, as well.

Now, to this part. I think I've made a case for why Porsche isn't all that unaware, so I'm going to focus on Kinn this time. I'd like to make the argument that he and Porsche have built a relatively solid foundation considering all they've been through. A kidnapping, the return of an ex, jealousy, etc. All the traditional/cliche/tried-and-true methods by which dramas like to throw a wrench in an otherwise happy relationship. And time and again we've seen K & P weather these issues pretty darn well, despite our expectations. Doesn't that build a solid foundation?

And I think Kinn does realize how precarious this happiness is. A few moments to point out: In EP7, when Porsche says he shouldn't have loved him and starts walking out--out on Kinn, on whatever potential the two of them have, on Kinn's already visceral feelings for him, on his decision to change or be different this time. Kinn crowds him desperately, does whatever he can in the moment to affirm that he in fact does trust Porsche despite his outburst. And in EP12, when Porsche is pushing Kinn away when he finds out he's been hiding the truth about sending the vultures after his uncle, Kinn knows just what to do and just what to say to keep Porsche with him. He also promises to get to the bottom of everything for him, which they technically haven't done yet, so...we could see this touched on again in a second season. And lastly, all those moments in the last few episodes where Kinn takes the initiative to remind Porsche again, and again, and again how much he means to him; isn't he trying to reaffirm his devotion to a man whose devotion seems to be tipping slightly away from Kinn and more towards his own preoccupations?

And yes, Kinn has been drinking from a poisoned well. But did you notice the permanent look of confusion and disbelief he wore any time he was around Korn in that finale? From reminding Porsche that he's here for him--a reassuring line, sure, but has nothing to do with the context of that particular moment--to finding it more than appropriate that Porsche would twice verbally cast aside the Family Kinn has given up his freedom for with the words "I'm on your side", isn't it being implied that Kinn is willing to align himself more with Porsche now than Korn? Can't Porsche and all the history attached to him be the antidote to that poison?

This is where I see, or hope, or wish, or desperately want what @ellaspore says to be true:

Because the above dialogue could be read also as a point of character growth for Porsche and it could become even for Kinn.

"Many things can be true at once": Your catchphrase definitely rings true for everything we thought we knew to everything we now know. And I do have to admit that I am one to give these characters more credit than they're probably due. But the setup created for season 2 is just too good, the chess metaphor so deeply engrained in nearly every meta written and every thought thought, I can't help but hope that the writers use this to shock us all over again in the next season.

Imagine an entire season where Kinn and Porsche's lives are just seemingly getting torn apart by Korn, his moves, his lies. Things are more or less going his way, Kinn and Porsche's relationship either blown up or in the process of being so. And then Korn's checked by these mates. They unravel the truth while making him--and us--think they're still in the palm of his hand. While outwardly they move as he wants them to, they've been quietly working to understand his plays. Kinn realizing how his position and his brother's trauma is no fateful accident, Porsche finding out how his family is really connected to the mafia world. Neither likes what they see for themselves or for their partner and, uniting in the face of all that's trying to wreck them, end up one step ahead of Korn. How satisfying would it be to see the chess master beaten by the very son he groomed to always ensure he wins? How poetic would it be for Porsche to be the one that in a few months or years' time undid all the calculating Korn has spent nearly two decades perfecting? This time we wouldn't see it coming (again), but Korn wouldn't either.

Anyway, you wrapped it all up perfectly in the end there:

@liyazaki: even with all this possibility for heart-wrenching fallout, I've never felt 'safer' as a viewer as I do in the hands of these writers. they left some plotlines under-developed or unaddressed entirely (for now), but the unforgettable story this team managed to create from the mostly-trash heap that is the source material is a testament to their professional prowess, and evidence of all the thought and care they poured into KinnPorsche. this show has consistently delivered on every promise it made, and managed to surprise me at every turn. I don't know exactly where we're going from here, but if we get to see Kinn and Porsche's story continue? I can't wait to see where they take us- even if it rips our collective hearts out in the process.

Food incorporates all five senses. It’s a very powerful way of creating a connection and expressing love so is it really surprising that for some it is a love language? Pete very early on expresses his feelings on food. He correlates food with warm feelings, welcome, and caring. This is due to his grandmother and it means something that he shares his grandmother's food with Porsche. Food is extremely important to Pete. So let's talk about when it became important to Vegas and Pete.

Where are you looking evil sir?? He's looking right at Pete. Eventually Pete notices and tells Vegas where Kinn is but instead he sits with them. Pete moves his food over. He is super excited about it but baby boy does not touch a drop of his food once Vegas gives Porsche that meat.

Boy is not happy, not happy at all. I also want you guys to look at the first picture and where Porsches eyes are actually directed at. It's not Vegas.

Our next food related incident happens when Pete if following Vegas. Both Vegas and his brother notice and Vegas heads into the store and purchases Pete bug spray and bread. The condoms weren't for him at that time.

Then comes Episode 7 which really is when I first noticed the food dialogue. While taking my notes, I started really seeing a pattern. The thought hit me that Vegas absolutely has to know how Pete feels about food because there are too many moments for me to discredit. I'm going to list them for you.

The minute Pete mentioned grilled pork Vegas is turning around and getting it for him. Okay, I can already hear some of you dismissing this but think it through. He had Porsche next to him, his supposed "unrequited love" and Pete was a decent distance back and was whispering to Arm. How would Vegas have heard Pete unless his attention was already there.

Vegas offers food again when Pete pays homage to alter. Pete says they can wait to eat with everyone. Here is the interesting part. Vegas looks at Arm, then Porsche but looks directly at Pete and tells Pete "I'll get you some food."

Porsche says "oh they set up food" Vegas is in front of Porsche on the stairs and Pete is behind Porche. Vegas pauses as they come off the stairs so that Porsche is then in front of him slightly and Vegas is in line of Pete when he asks "hungry?"

Vegas and Pete make full eye contact. Third offering of food. What's that smile Pete. What's that smile!? And then I get my answer from @curiositykilledd who also co-wrote this with me... The food on that table is Southern Thai. Could be nothing.. Could be something. You decide.

Okay, back on track "You don't need a schedule to eat here" he is looking right at Pete when he says "you can eat whenever you want"

Vegas gestures for Porsche to drink. They clink glasses then Vegas turns and gestures to Pete to drink. Are we counting this as a food offering? If so.. Number five. All in one episode.

There are points in-between these gifs that most of you are familiar with. First the food Vegas so carefully made with love and then the second bowl of food, that if you noticed was still ramen. One of Pete's favorites. The spilt food that in fact foreshadowed their fall.

Then Pete follows Vegas and he can't say "Because I love you" but he can say "Because I'm hungry" and immediately Vegas pauses because he knows what food means to Pete.

We come full circle from that very first scene when Pete shared his food with Porsche. When he extending his care, concern, and friendship to Porsche. We come to the last scene in the series but also their last food scene. Not only does Pete get Macau food but buys Vegas food as well. The difference between that first scene and this last one is that though he is extending his care and concern, he is also giving Vegas his love. Food=I love you. It's their love language.

So, @yeetlegay suggested something a few days ago here:

I feel like we need an equivalent of the Damn Good Meta Doc (aka the bible for sexy ppl, brought to us by known goddess @luckydragon10) but like…for memorable shitposting. Y’all are some of the funniest people on the planet and I want a massive encyclopedia of your greatest hits that I can look back on and laugh over again.

Now, I’m a lady with anxiety who had important job decisions coming up. The implications were obvious. Brought to you with the help of copious amounts of coffee, two packets of sour candy snakes and approximately 10 hours of Deezer’s finest german lo-fi rap music playlist:

memorable shitposting kinnporsche edition aka The Damn Good Shitposting Doc

and its companion/girlfriend

@kpmemes aka a whole sideblog full of fun posts galore for your endless scrolling pleasure feat. a (hopefully accurate) tag system

With (as of right now) 513 posts from 160+ people clicking through the doc became a bit of a hassle, so I figured a blog that contains all the posts a: would be a nicer way to search and view things for some people and b: could come really in handy in case of broken links. The blog doesn’t quite contain every post from the doc yet with around 100 missing (postlimit got me), but the queue should fill the remaining gaps in the next few days. (Also the tag page is still iffy on mobile, working on it!)

Now, tagging every single person who has a post in the doc would probably break tumblr (I do have the list though in a handy excel table if anyone wants a whole bunch of fun blogs to follow), but I need to give a special thanks & shout out to @moerusai @yeetlegay @snake-and-mouse @rythyme @onstoryladders @biochemjess @blessyouhawkeye @daltoneering for their super valuable and well-filled tags/blogs that managed to actually lead me to the bulk of these posts. Y’all probably saw me do some weird shit in your activity over the weekend, sorry! And above all major thanks to @luckydragon10 for allowing me to basically copy-paste her structure from the meta doc & @iffervescent for inspiring most of the meme categories with the brilliant KP Fandom Primer. Also shoutout to @poemsforpersephone for letting me pester her with updates while recovering from Covid, you’re the real MVP and I will continue to pay you with KimChay memes. Last but not least: if you have posts that should be in here or suggestions in general please send them my way @kpmemes or on this blog, via ask or mentioning. Same goes for any broken links or mistakes you’ve caught (and I’m sure there will be some). Anon is on. Especially stuff for early episodes and pre-show is MUCH appreciated since I only joined after episode 6 and tumblr’s search isn’t exactly helpful. Also I know there have to be some Tay/Time/Tem shitposts out there.