Cat-Star

one thing i love about every single Stark is that they physically cannot stop themselves from chatting shit, even when it actively endangers them. if they think of a good one liner they will genuinely rather say it and die than keep quiet

Jon Snow has black hair, wears an all black fur coat, narrates through emo-poetry, and has a giant white wolf with red eyes, of course he’s bisexual.

Hot take : I hate GOT/ASOIAF AUs that gives Jon dragon eggs and he hatches them , I think it’s silly and kind of Misogynistic that you’ll take Daenerys special trait and give it to Jon

when in adwd jon’s internal monologue about tycho’s cool fashion and manners gets interrupted by his sudden immense fear of the idea of owing people money. character of all time

fans say they want dark jon and understand grrm's frustations about a character coming back from the dead unchanged and say his character is very byronic but then refuse to actually want him to change or commit atrocities in twow,that guy is going on a theon (hungry wolf) stark levels of shit in the north probably and is going to beef with multiple ppl i dont get why fans wouldn't want that

sleeper contender for the funniest mean jon moment is in the asos first assault on the wall when some dipshit wildling named BIG BOIL gets shot and jon literally takes a break in the middle of fighting for his life to think “that will stop him bitching about his boil 🙄” this is the ONLY time in ANY of the asoiaf books including the wider written universe that the word “bitching” is used. he is a wordsmithhhhh he came up with that on his ownnnnnn. rip jon snow you would have loved calling people chopped fucking fat chuds 💔

ned’s time in king’s landing is actually so funny because you have everyone like littlefinger, varys, cersei, etc. telling him how bad he is at scheming and keeping secrets and playing the game. meanwhile this man has had a secret targ baby hidden up north for 14 years and noneee of them have a clue. he doesn’t even have to try that hard either because no one gaf about bastards, so ned just shoves jon in the back of the hall when the royal family visits and lets him hang out right under their noses. then jon quietly gets tucked away on the wall with absolutely no suspicion from anybody because for once ned didn’t put his trust in anyone but himself. what’s even funnier is that ned gets to king’s landing and immediately starts drawing attention to every single scandal that relates to his own secret…investigating robert’s secret bastards, publicly condemning him for his plan to assassinate a targaryen child, accusing cersei of lying to everyone about her bastards…like why are you bringing up shady bastards when you have a shady bastard of your own to protect. except he actually gets away with it! because he’s taking advantage of westeros’s rigid class hierarchy and their complete disregard for/dismissal of bastards and outsmarts them all and then he just dies. the worst part is that ned can’t even appreciate how funny he is because he’s so repressed that he can only think about jon in any meaningful way via violent ptsd flashbacks. tragic but still an unintentionally better player than any of his killers.