zeaxiix

⤷ ❝ 𝕺𝕳,

my elegant flower…” Dazai breathily muttered into your ear, his right hand traveling down your body to secure itself onto your waist. The other lightly sliding down your arm until it met with yours, your hands mending together almost perfectly.

He began taking slow, steady steps with you in his firm, yet ever so delicate, arms. You hated the way he made you feel; and the heat rising to your cheeks didn’t make it any better.

The way his hands held onto you like nothing else in the world mattered made you sick. Like he was so deeply in love with you, that he never, ever wanted to let you go.

And this this hell felt like heaven for him.

So much like heaven, that he’s made you forget how and why you’re even in this concerning situation.

You and Dazai danced together as if you both were lovers, destined to always find each other in whatever universe God puts you in.

But it was quite the opposite.

Take where you are for example, atop the roof of an abandoned 5 story building at the dead of night.

Why are you even here, you ask? Well let’s go back to the beginning.

You and Dazai are coworkers at the Armed Detective Agency (ADA), and have been for the past few years. And because of that, you’re practically around the man 24/7.

But what’s so wrong with Dazai? Well, not only is he extremely irritating and obsessed with suicide, but it’s so painfully obvious that he’s obsessed with you as well!!

He’s overwhelmingly clingy and flirtatious, not to mention his constant attempts at suicide and begging for you to join him in a double suicide drive you mad. He can also be a tad bit controlling and manipulative when it comes to spending time with others.

“Oh, bella…” Dazai sang as he kneeled in front of you while you sat in your desk chair, his hands keeping a firm grip on yours. “…I can just imagine how beautiful your hands would look around my neck, finally granting me the sweet gift of death I crave so muc—“

“-Quit flirting with L/n, Dazai! Get back to work!!” Kunikida shouted at the suicidal brunet before dragging him away from you by his shirt collar.

You sighed at the scene before you, quickly turning back towards your desk and returning to your job. But your peace and quiet didn’t last very long until you were assigned the job to check out an old, abandoned, warehouse that is suspected to be the hideout for an unknown organization kidnapping certain people around the area of Yokohama.

Of course, you agree to the job and the partner assigned to you… but you declined the last part. You insisted that you did not need anyone’s assistance in this job, mainly because you didn’t want a certain bandage-waster recommending himself as the perfect candidate for the position.

You left the ADA building, ready to save the captives and go home and sleep. But someone had ulterior motives…

Once arriving at the warehouse, you pulled out your gun and hid in a blind spot from anyone inside the abandoned building.

Your eyes scanned the perimeter and the entrance it’s self and… “Is no one in there?” You quietly muttered to yourself; there was absolutely no sign of life anywhere.

What the fuck? You thought.

You were about to walk over there before you were stopped by your gun being snatched right out of your grasp.

“I doubt you’ll be needing that, bella.”

Gasping in shock, you spun around on your heel, meeting eyes with… him. “Wha… what are you doing here, Dazai!?”

“Call me Osamu,” he added rather quickly, “and what’s so wrong with a fellow member of the agency taking the time out of their evening to assist their dear colleague?”

You angrily glared at him but he seemed to not care. It’s almost like he loves getting a reaction out of people, especially you.

“I thought I told you I liked working alone…“ what made you trail off of your sentence short was Dazai reaching for your hand and gently holding it in his.

He didn’t dare to break eye contact as he kissed your knuckles. You grimaced at the feeling, cursing yourself for not snatching your hand away and shoving him away from you.

“I could be trying out a new method of suicide right now, but I decided to spend my time with you.” He added with a small pout.

You rolled your eyes at him, “Wow, how selfless…! Now leave, I’m trying to do my job here!! Now give me my gun back!!!”

You jumped to reach the black weapon but he held it over your head, “Ah, ah, ah! I told you that you won’t need this, haven’t I, my dear belladonna?”

You tightly pressed your lips together, already knowing that Dazai won’t give in that easily. Shit, he probably won’t even give in at all!

“You know, I might reconsider that offer of strangling you to death right about now…” you muttered under your breath.

“Oh really?” He leaned over towards you a bit, you didn’t exactly expect him to hear you. “Sorry, but I prefer my deaths to be painless and knowing you, that probably won’t happen.”

Sighing, you reached out your open hand in front of him, “My gun.”

“Well that’s not a complete sentence now is it, Belladonna?” Laughing softly to himself Dazai, sat up straight. “I’m getting sick of this back and forth banter, let’s just go inside the place already.”

Dazai threw his hands back, the gun flying back even further. You watched in horror as it disappeared into the overgrown vegetation.

“You fucking—“

The bandaged brunet grabbed onto your wrist and forced you into the warehouse.

The second you both ran through the door, you pried your wrist off of his hand, “What the hell’s wrong with you, Osamu!? There could’ve been a bunch of armed men in here trying to kill us!!”

“But there wasn’t.” He stated bluntly, not even wanting to touch on the fact that you have just referred to him as “Osamu.”

Seething, you tore your gaze away from him and looked around the empty space around you. No one’s here either.

“You’re right. There… isn’t…” You looked around for a good 5 seconds before a loud gasp echoed through the room.

“What? You… you lied about the- the everything didn’t you!? The kidnappers and—”

“-I didn’t lie, okay.” He raises his hands up In defense. “All I did was tell you the wrong address, the kidnappers are somewhere on the other side of Yokohama but who cares!!” He laughed uncaringly at the situation.

“You cannot be fucking for real right now…” you rubbed your temple at the mere thought of this. It was absolutely unbelievable.

You and everyone at the ADA might know this already, but it’s becoming more and more evident as the days go by: Dazai is fucking insane.

“Come on, Y/n!! Don’t tell me you’re scared of heights!!” You must’ve zoned out for a moment because now Dazai is climbing the stairs up to the next floor as he urges you on to follow him.

Already mentally drained, you wanted to turn around and go home, but something about this intrigued you so you went along with it.

That was your first mistake.

This went on for another twenty or so minutes until you both have reached the roof. Quite frankly, you were tired and out of breath. Panting as if you had just ran a fucking marathon.

“You made it!” He claps his hands together, “Barely…” he adds on under his breath, loud enough for you to hear.

“Why… did you bring me here…?” You said as you finally got a hold of your breath, noticing that it is already dark outside. The only light source being the bright, half-moon in the sky.

“Bring you here…?” Dazai slowly stepped closer to you, chuckling darkly to himself, “What do you mean? You followed me all by yourself. You could’ve turned around and went home whenever you wanted.” As if he’d even let you do that in the first place.

“Uh- well…” you stuttered, “Whatever.” Crossing your arms you, turned away from him.

The bandaged brunet stepped closer to you, “C’mon, bella…“ He whined, shoving his hands into his pockets; a strange smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“What’s the matter? Are you mad because I lied to you?” He teased you in a mock baby voice, desperately trying to get a reaction out of you.

You turned around, ready to give him a piece of your mind, but his brown eyes looking right through your soul silenced you. There was a look on his face that you couldn’t make out. Was he frustrated? Maybe amused?

Whatever it was, you didn’t want any parts of it.

“I don’t even know why I followed you up here. I’m leaving.” You swiftly turned around again, and began walking away. But a firm grip on your forearm stopped you right in your tracks.

“Hey, what are you-“

He didn’t respond. He only yanked you into his arms. His, that you won’t admit, warm and loving arms. His arm was tightly around your waist while the other gently rested on top of your head.

“Dazai,” you paused, horribly frustrated with yourself for finding somewhat enjoying his embrace, “what are you doing?”

“Y/n, you know how I just love the idea of committing a double suicide with the beautiful lady I fall in love with?” He whispered to you, his arms securely around your waist.

“Uhm, yeah? I guess? What does any of this have to do with…?”

“I have another question,” he continued, “You do know I’m in love with you, right?”

“You what!?—“

Suddenly, Dazai released you from his embrace, you would’ve lost balance if he didn’t secure his grip on your waist.

“Oh, my elegant flower…!” he breathily whispered into your ear as his hand firmly grasped onto yours. You looked into his brown eyes that sparkled like stars in the beautiful moonlight. You hated the way he looked at you. You just hated absolutely everything about him. Why did he of all people have to fall in love with you?

At this point, you have no idea what the fuck is going on. Feeling weird by not doing anything with your free hand, you awkwardly placed your free hand on his shoulder.

You’ve never slow danced with a man before, but this what they do on movies, right? This is good enough.

He began taking slow, steady steps with you in his firm yet ever so delicate arms. You couldn't help but divert your gaze away from him whilst your face flushed a soft red color. Why am I blushing like crazy right now? Why won’t it stop!?

“Did you not hear me?” He continued the previous conversation, momentarily stopping his movements, “I said that I’m in love with you.”

“You’re… in… in love?” You felt so stupid at this moment. Has it not been obvious since the beginning? He constantly compliments you on a daily. He’s even expressed his interest in committing a double suicide with his lover, and you just happen to be the person he bothers with the question the most. I’d have to be stupid to never realize it, shit.

“No, that’s not true…” his grip around your waist now becoming hellishly tight. A gasp escaped your lips but it was quickly overrun by his words, “I’m obsessed with you. Why else would I lie about your current mission? I just needed this alone time with you. There’s something really important I needed to tell you.”

“I- are you crazy!?” You shrieked, your last pieces of sympathy for him instantly shattering into oblivion.

“Only crazy for you, my beautiful flower.”

“Dazai, are you seriou-“

Before you could get a word out, Dazai pressed his soft lips against yours. The kiss was only a few seconds, but for you, it felt like an eternity.

Once he finally pulled away, you caught your breath. In a melodramatic manner, nonetheless.

An amused smirk tugged at the corners of his lips as he stared straight into your eyes, “I doubt it was that bad, Y/n.” He chuckled softly.

“You can’t hate me that much, my dear bella.”

You didn’t respond to him, only diverting your gaze away from him. “I do, I really do…”

He laughed quietly before beginning to take a few steps with you. You became more and more embarrassed each time you slipped up and stepped on his feet but still not feeling obligated to mutter a quiet apology.

But then, there was a sudden stop. You could feel Dazai’s heart pounding faster than usual. He redirected his gaze and bit his lip nervously before looking straight at you.

He placed a soft kiss against your forehead, and muttered a quiet declaration of love before hugging you tightly. Embracing you with all of his might.

And leaning forward. At first, you thought that he was passed out or something and that you both were stumbling to the ground, but that wasn’t the case. It was quite the opposite, as a matter of fact.

Now it all makes sense. Why he stopped dancing; Because you were on the edge of the roof, perhaps?

Why he grabbed onto you; So you wouldn’t fight against him, maybe?

His decoration of love… he was going to kill himself.

And bring you along with him.

Tears ran down your face as sobs ripped through your throat. You couldn’t believe it, despite how surprising that sounds. It just feels like some kind of act of betrayal to you, even if he is dying as well.

The moment before you and Osamu hit the rock-hard pavement, he let go of you and muttered a phrase you may never forget, even in the afterlife:

“Thank you.”

back to title page ┆cingulomania (noun): ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ᴅᴇꜱɪʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴀ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ ɪɴ ᴏɴᴇ'ꜱ ᴀʀᴍꜱ

“Well, you beat me, Y/n.” He combed his teal hair out of his face just for it to fall back in place, “Now what will you do with me?”

He paused, panting. “Actually, I have an idea — I want to you to step on me.”

“You want me to…?” A look of confusion was on your face. A look saying “what in the world is his problem?”

The Vice Captain had a big grin splitting his face, he is far too happy about this. “What are you so confused about? Do you have hearing problems or something?”

“Step on me.”

Your eyes look around for any eavesdroppers. It may be 12 AM, but some knights may be on early morning patrol.

You saw no one.

“But why? I don’t understand,” you toss your wooden sparring sword to the side.

“You don’t need to understand, you’re the one on top of me.” His eyes slowly trail down your leather boots that start at your mid-thigh and stop at the sole of your foot.

There’s just something about the way they squeeze your pretty legs that turns him on.

He’s basically chewing on his bottom lip now, probably trying to regulate the pain he’s feeling in his lower region.

He’s so hard right now and you can see it even with the only source of light being the moon and a dew street lights.

The knight looks up at you expectantly, his big, red eyes illuminating softly in the dim lighting. “So? Will you?”

“But you lost, Lohen,” you step closer to him,  your feet on either side of his torso. “Why should I give you what you want if you lost?” You smirk. 

He’s going dizzy with arousal, “Th- then- hurt me then! Kick me, stomp on me, break my bones for all I care! I’ll I need is for you to step on me. Treat me like an insect on the sidewalk.”

Your lips pursed together, you were thinking.

Not even a second later your pressing the sole of your shoe his crotch.

The noise that escaped his throat was a cross between a scream and a moan. The sound ao sinfully debauched it almost made you remove your boot. But seeing him squirm in pain ignited something in you.

His eyes rolled to the back of his head and his fingernails dug into the earth beneath him.

After a second, you moved your boot away. he’s being way too loud, He must want you two to get caught.

“Good god that felt so- so good. Do it again!” He corrected himself, “I mean- please, please give me more, Y/n? I’ll be good! I swear I’ll be so fuckin’ good!”

“Stop begging,” your foot presses against his chest, knocking the wind out of him. “You’re not supposed to enjoy this, is that not what we agreed upon?”

His hands rest on your ankles, feeling your leather boots up and down. “But I am enjoying this, way more than I should, honestly…”

Your boot pressed harder against him, “Hands off before I tie your wrists above your head with that stupid choker you love so much.”

He removes his hands.

“Yes ma’am,” He jokes.

“I like that,” you drop to your knees and straddle his hips. “I want you to refer to me as such. Say yes ma’am and no ma’am when I speak to you, you understand?”

“This wasn’t apart of the deal-“

“-But who lost? I told you I don’t want you to have too much fun,” You pull on his choker that lives up to it’s name, it is way too tight around his neck. “You will do as I say for the rest of the night.”

His face went red, “Yes ma’am.”

This is purely self-indulgent I just really wanted to step on lohen chat my bad