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i don't do bad sauce passes
wallacepolsom
Today's Document
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

ellievsbear

Andulka
Cosimo Galluzzi
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
occasionally subtle
KIROKAZE
Not today Justin
Mike Driver
ojovivo

Discoholic 🪩
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
sheepfilms

@theartofmadeline

shark vs the universe
AnasAbdin
seen from Malaysia
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seen from Sweden
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@kosegruppaa
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Late night birthday surprise ✨
what the fuck was that
jacob is sitting in front of a huge canvas right now with a charcoal pencil in his fist trying to figure out how to make the ottawa centaurs logo look like it's performing autofellatio
Ilya Rozanov week: Day one Favorite moment(s): Letting himself be a kid again around the people he loves ♥︎
HEATED RIVALRY (2025 -)

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everyone say happy birthday ilya
happy birthday ilya rozanov ♥️
dan and phil watching interview with the vampire!!! pleeasseeee how do we get them to do at least parts of this as the philmclub
idea from dmthinkr on twitter
Eric Bogosian as Daniel Molloy The Vampire Lestat 3.02

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everybody neeeeeds to go read this new yorker cartoon article with jacob tierney!!!!! it's so good
his peculiar line deliveries are like a song to me
i think he's handling things really well.
we all live such different lives
pretty boy in loveee

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The “do you want to know how it feels, holding the cup?” is genuinely such a fucking cunty comment and all Shane does is throw his underwear at Ilya and then grin like he’s so proud of himself.
What I’m saying is this, sometimes Ilya will say something to Shane in front of the Centaurs that makes the whole locker room freeze up because if they said that shit to their own partners, they would be in the doghouse for months. But Shane will just shove Ilya or punch him in the shoulder and then they grin at each other like it was the funniest shit ever.
They learn the hard way that although there seems to be no boundry to what Ilya can chirp Shane with, the same does not apply to anyone else. If anyone makes a comment to Shane that is deemed not appropriately playful, you will be facing the wrath of his husband and you will wish you were dead.
See, the thing is that even though Ilya loves to rage bait Shane and say cunty things like “Do you want to know how it feels, holding the cup?”, he is never cruel or mean. He never says anything that would actually hurt Shane, he never goes for the jugular. And that’s because the chirping is meant almost as a backwards compliment to Shane. He can say “Do you want to know how it feels, holding the cup?” BECAUSE he knows (and Shane knows, and Shane knows that Ilya knows) that Shane will likely/definitely hold the cup one day himself. Shane even replies “I’ll know for myself soon enough.”
Imagine if Ilya said that to someone who wasn’t Shane, like maybe someone on an AHL team who has pretty much zero chance of ever winning a Stanley Cup. Then Ilya would be a total asshole who is trying to make the AHL player feel shitty. It’s an asshole move because the power dynamics are different: star MLH player taunting AHL player about something they want but will never get.
But no, Ilya’s saying this to Shane, BECAUSE he knows just how good Shane is and knows that Shane will definitely win at least one cup at some point. It’s almost like an in-joke: I know you’re good, you know you’re good, but I’m a chaos gremlin and a competitive little shit so I’m gonna rub it in your face a little that I got there before you did, just to get a reaction out of you. But the joke hinges on the fact that Ilya thinks Shane is amazing, they are equals, and it wouldn’t work otherwise.
Rinse, lather, repeat for all of his other digs at Shane, i.e. “this slow fucking player” only works because Shane is incredibly fast, “with a weak backhand” only works if Ilya has the best backhand in the league and Shane has the best forehand and the second-best backhand, etc. He wouldn’t say this to Shane if Shane was actually kinda slow or had been frustrated with his backhand. They’re both in on the joke, and it’s one way they can bridge the competitive divide between them. It acknowledges “hey, we’re the two best players in the world, and it’s lonely at the top, except now we have these little jokes that acknowledge our competitive sides and the fact that I really want to beat you, but also tie us together, because no one else can make these jokes except us.”
From the Heated Rivalry soundtrack vinyl