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@korragirl
Back to posting
It just came into my mind today to start posting here again. Back when I created this blog, my aim was just journaling, saving my thoughts and links I wanted to get back to. My purpose this time is a bit different. I have acquired a new hobby and I am so happy about it. I started painting and it seems like I can do some fun stuff :) So, I’ve decided to start blabbering about my painting and crafts adventures here and share my adventures. Let the fun begin :D
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Measuring Lives
I need to stop measuring lives and their worth. I have been obsessed with this since an early age. In my late teenage years and early twenties I seemed to be heading towards a self-centered egotistical life geared towards academic or career success and materialistic life accomplishments. Have I continued, I guess I might've been one of those young successful entrepreneurs, or a thriving manager enjoying every drop of adrenaline in her everyday crazy hectic life. I was saved by the bell though. I was on constant watch however over people's life to see if I liked where this leads to. I decided at some point that the final outcome might not really be what I would like to have. I decided to change direction somehow. I started opening up my heart, to appreciate being human and try get more in touch with human needs and emotions I'd previously denied myself and looked down upon. The change might've been overwhelming for my inner psyche though. It might've been sudden, maybe a little bit forced. The decision to put cold hard calculated logic on the side, was in itself somewhat logical and calculated. I was so keen on not having regrets on my deathbed. I didn't want to be that strong lady who didn't seem to need anyone on her side even in tough situations. But I guess the sudden opening up to emotions was all too much for me. My inner life couldn't take in well all the surrounding sadness around me. I was so scared it'd become my own one day. I was so scared of people's tribulations that they got me depressed in fear they would become my own one day, in fear I could end up with such a story myself. Little did I know how unique each person's tribulations are. How intimate and custom-tailored they are for everyone. All the guarding of emotions, watching and studying others' life and trying to learn the lessons early without getting bitten myself was just in no way going to prepare me for my weird unexpected lot in life!
دعاء
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي عَبْدُكَ ، ابْنُ عَبْدِكَ ، ابْنُ أُمَّتِكَ ، نَاصِيَتِي فِي يَدِكَ ، مَاضٍ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ ، عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضَاؤُكَ ، أَسْأَلُكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ ، سَمَّيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ ، أَوْ أَنْزَلْتَهُ فِي كِتَابِكَ ، أَوْ عَلَّمْتَهُ أَحَدًا مِنْ خَلْقِكَ ، أَوِ اسْتَأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِي عِلْمِ الْغَيْبِ عِنْدَكَ أَنْ تَجْعَلَ الْقُرْآنَ رَبِيعَ قَلْبِي ، وَنُورَ بَصَرِي ، وَجِلاءَ حُزْنِي ، وَذَهَابَ هَمِّي ، إِلا أَذْهَبَ اللَّهُ هَمَّهُ وَأَبْدَلَ لَهُ مَكَانَ حُزْنِهِ فَرَجًا
المصدر: http://www.dwayir.com/2012/09/blog-post_4792.html#ixzz25mGvUhJo
Juggling Balls
Copied from a dear friend of mine :)
"They say "life 's about juggling balls :work, family, health, friends,and religious/spiritual" All unfinished business, unsettled scores, things u hate yourself for doing/not doing and dreams not fulfilled makes the corresponding ball heavier Moving on, forgiving and accepting (not to mention facing and solving procrastinated problems) makes peace with the past and grands the strength boost needed to keep on juggling and keep on living"
Resolutions
I will not get lost in my thoughts! If I have something valid in my head, I'll write it down, if not, I'll just move to the next thing to do!
I will not spend on FB more than 1h a day, OK the exact duration is still to be revised. I'll calculate the actual reasonable time I need, and start recording everytime I open it (Time spend in archiving on Tumblr excluded, since this is a different goal).
I will start watching what I eat more closely and the timings.
There will be PEPSI! or any other soda drink for that matter. I will always have pineapple juice or frozen berries as a backup in the fridge for the case when I need something sweet.
Weight will be recorded and written down on daily basis. I will let it go though and not think about it much. Just measure, write and move on to the next thing. No what if scenarios, no goal seeking, and no beating myself up if I'm higher by 0.5 g.
I'm allowed 1 outing a week, and a 2nd outing every 4 weeks.
I won't obsess about what I eat in outings, I'll try to be careful but I won't torture myself or beat myself about it before or after.
After the outing and in the case of weight increase, things I eat will be carefully monitored for the following 3-4 days until I go back to original weight.
There will be a gradual return to rehabilitation activity, based on doctor's advice.
For the time being, I am allowed 2-3 minutes maximum on a stationary bike, three times a week only.
I shouldn't spend a whole week without:
Religious activities; reading qur'an, revising suwar I'd studied earlier, or making uninterrupted time for Salat or Dua'
Studying spanish. It's been long enough! This is an achievable goal for God's sake!
Reading at least 50 pages of a book
Spending 5 hours on knitting or crochet
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So this is how it's gonna work; the things I think are word saving, will come here to tumblr with tags and all. The things that I think are worth sharing, as in informing my friends about will go on FB.
That's the plan at least :) Let's see how this is gonna work!
I REALLY need to get off my tushie and DO SOMETHING!!. Taurus and Momentum!! Takes a lot of energy to initiate an action, and once initiate it I keep going unable to stop and unable to initiate another action.
OK I'm getting up NOW!!!
Why FB Archiving Here?
...And then I start questioning if the idea of archiving some posts from FB here on tumblr makes any sense, and if it is actually worth the time? Can't I just switch my FB to Timeline view and be able to take a look easily on older posts?! But then I remind myself of these two reasons:
It's better to have the posts here, and tag them to be able to search easily, and even if possible and I find the tools for it, be able to do visualize the tags number of topics over time to know what ideas were taking over my mind each period of time. Since I switch focus A LOT, it's good for me to have such a feature (of course the question remains if I'll find a way to perform that visualization or not)
I'll only copy the significant posts, only the things that seem to matter, so I'll be filtering off a lot of the noise on my FB profile
I need to get used to posting here, since over the past period I was using FB as my personal journal page, sharing too much and blissfully trying not to pay attention to who might be actually reading my posts and what they might be thinking. I want to make a habit to start posting here instead of FB when it's my thoughts, not just shares.
Goals of the Week: 12 Aug - 18 Aug
Start journaling in a new blog: Happening :)
Finish archiving two Two Months: Done Jan 2012 and Feb 2012
Finish one sleave in the rainbow-like gradient thingie I started last week: In progress:
Finish half the book "Psychology in Islam": In progress
Keeping a journal
So, I came to a realization it's important and healthy for me to keep a journal. I've had a couple of blogs before, but I stopped writing there, and now I found I'm using Facebook as my personal journal. To make things easier, I'll be gathering the stuff worth keeping from FB, and then continue posting here on Tumblr. That's just to explain why an aweful lot of posts would be posted on the same days here, and given a date and tags for when they were originally written. It's important for me to be able to capture a mental snapshot of what I was thinking then.
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... and when the Man had all the gifts that they could give he left, then the owl said to the other animals: "Now the Man knows much and he is able to do many things." The deer said: "The Man has all that he needs. Now his sadness will stop." But the owl replied: "No, I saw a hole in the Man, deep like a hunger he will never fill. It is what makes him sad and what makes him want. He will go on taking and taking until one day the World will say: I am no more and I have nothing left to give."
Unknown
لم أر غرورا أشد من غرور المتدين الذى يعتبر نقسه يتكلم باسم الشرع بينمل الإمام الشافعى يقول: ما جادلت أحدا إلا تمنيت أن يكون الحق على لسانه
طارق سويدان
"If a drop of water falls in lake there is no identity. But if it falls on a leaf of lotus it shine like a pearl. so choose the best place where you would shine"
Copied
My Comment:
Do we do that or do we go where we will truely belong? Why do we want to shine in the first place and be unique? Isn't that a desire of the ego?! Or would deciding to go to the lake in this case be choosing the easy way?! As usual, lots of questions with no answers.
"أتدري كيف يُسرق عمر المرء منه؟ يذهل عن يومه في ارتقاب غده، ولا يزال كذلك حتي ينقضي أجله، ويده صِفر من أي خير."
محمد الغزالى
...If only we have the strength to go through it all, and the wisdom to see things this way...
Dina Said
ومن رحمة الله بعبده المؤمن أنه ما أن يتعلق فلبه بشىء أو بشخص أكثر مما ينبغى يتم انتزاعه منه انتزاعًا حتى يتعلم القلب ألا يتعلق بشىء سوى الله عز وجل
Rain
قال صلى الله عليه وسلم : (جاءني جبريل عليه السلام، فقال: يا محمد! عش ما شئت فإنك ميت، وأحبب من شئت فإنك مفارقه، واعمل ما شئت فإنك مجزيٌ به، واعلم أن شرف المؤمن قيامه
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"Don't believe anything, until it has been officially denied"
Claud Cockburn