you stay open, i stay outside

However, it's almost 100 years old, and there are other treatments out there that work better. We aren't using 100 year old medicines for cancer, or pneumonia, or even arthritis, so why is the court MANDATING 100 year old treatments for addiction? (Why aren't there enough spaces in modern treatment facilities also?)

i have paid half my rent this month (6800/14000INR) because i had to incur personal expenses such as travelling, paying my brother's sem fees, and some other things. i was able to rent a fridge because it is impossible otherwise in this stuffy room (only a ceiling fan) and food was becoming a bigger expense if i was buying stuff to cook only immediately /eat immediately. so this is where i am at

i did try to give tuitions but the location is far from my office so i can't balance both everyday + the travelling back and forth would be an extra charge (i already cant afford transportation to my work, i only have enough for two days)

andi got some work on here, and then i sold one of my vintage record covers (i dont have a record player i just had a really good old hindi film poster that somebody offered to buy)

so this is where i am at, and it is a matter of urgency. i was able to stock up on food because somebody gave me a giftcard i added that to the goal money too) so i am not worried about my cats, at least for a week or so.

i dont really like explaining my situation in complete detail because i am... well... embarrassed/ashamed and also aaaah it feels bad but yeah!!!!

any and every help literally matters a lot right now. i am willing to do ur homework, write ur assignments, or any other service i can offer (if ur in india and need help with things i can help with that too!!!!) so that is all !!!

paypal.me/aandhi1975

ko-fi.com/aandhi

also i write a substack. if u like it u can send me some. or at least read it and share it if u like it. that's all.

https://aandhi.substack.com/

It happens during the whole vampire questline. It's not related to vampires. I may misremember details so forgive me for that. But you have to go through old dwemer ruins and you meet the last living snow elf in Skyrim. You know, the snow elves. Who were enslaved by the dwemer and went blind and feral and still live in the ruins long after the dwemer are gone. The falmer is what they're called now. Here's the last one who's in their original form.

And oh hey, to get to where you need to go you have to take a path that's an old snow elf coming of age rite of passage. And he's going to take you through it and you're going to learn about this dead culture, this culture that was killed.

And now you've got what you came for and there's one way out. Now that you've learned what the falmer used to be, where they came from, what was lost because of the dwemer enslaving them, you have to go through a falmer village.

It's a narrow canyon lined with huts. There's no way to avoid it, in order to get through you have to kill them. They attack you because that's what they do to people invading their territory. You're invading their village. You have to kill them or they'll kill you. It's the only way out. You feel terrible.

If you stop to loot one of the huts on your way out you'll find a book full of unreadable text. Take it to the winterhold college and give it to the librarian and he'll tell you that it's a remarkable find because it's evidence that falmer have retained intelligence. They're not just mindless feral monsters. They have this book, they've kept this book even though they can't see. They have a culture. Maybe they still remember what happened to them. Maybe that's why they're so mad.

You just killed so many of them. You're going to have to kill many more.

Anyway.

if anyone has the means & wants to help out, my links are below:

KOFI / PPAL

Authorship: Barthes, Death of the Author; Foucault, What is an Author?

Formalism: Eichenbaum, The Theory of the “Formal Method”;  Brooks, from The Well Wrought Urn: Studies in the Structure of Poetry

Structuralism: Saussure, Course in General Linguistics ; Barthes, from Mythologies

Psychoanalysis: Freud, The Interpretation of Dreams; Lacan, The Mirror Stage & The Significance of the Phallus

Ideology: Althusser, Ideology and Ideological State Apparatuses; Foucault, Truth and Power

Feminism & Queer: Sedgwick, from Between Men; Cixous, The Laugh of the Medusa; Wittig, One Is Not Born a Woman; Butler, Gender Trouble

Deconstruction: Derrida, from Of Grammatology;

Postcolonial: Fanon, from The Wretched of the Earth; Spivak, Can the Subaltern Speak?

Cultural Materialism: Adorno & Horkheimer, The Culture Industry: Enlightenment as Mass Deception; Williams, Base and Superstructure in Marxist Cultural Theory