someone's least favorite dog metaphor

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

You can lie when you name things

It is so fucking funny to me how easily scandalized some people are wym callout post for a cannibalism kink. Grow up. This is the nothingburger leagues and you're throwing up in the stands

It’s actually the peopleburger leagues

Blocking for being funnier than me

it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living

seriously need some more flower emoji options like where is the orchid? the wisteria? the hydrangea… the pansy… the lily?? fuck

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

Ouuhh I see the water it’s right there on the post,, I’m so thirsty ouyghhhhhw just one sip for me ooouuuuuu

"whats your 5 year plan?" buddy I nearly go insane thinking about what I should have for dinner

as a feminist i support recreational abortion

i have mixed feelings about competitive