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Pad en pad.

Een paddenpaadje.

It wasn't even one of the really expensive genetic tests I still need to have done up at the universry. It was $492 to rule out an autoimmune disorder I already knew I didn't have, but needed to rule out officially for my EDS diagnosis to be considered official by my health insurance so they'd cover the cost of my care. One test, out of the thirty-two that were ran. $492

This is not the first time I’ve gotten a message like this. I always find it curious. Because if you have this attitude you are either invincible, rich, or a fool.

I used to be in this tech nerd community and there was this older fella who slowly revealed himself to be a super right wing asshat. He complained about immigrants mooching, black people mooching, poor people mooching… everybody was mooching his taxes. Meanwhile, he was 65 and working hard. Paying his own way. Doing things proper like a good American. 

He was no damn moocher, that’s for sure.

Then he got sick.

He could not work anymore.

Lost his medical insurance.

His savings ran out in about 3 months.

And he became a fellow moocher.

He had to sign up for Medicare and disability.

But then he realized that wasn’t enough to live on. Boy, was he mad. ALL CAPS POSTS about how he can’t afford rent. He can’t afford food. He started posting links to his Paypal asking people to donate. He got furious at people because no one would give him money. Called us all bad people for not helping him in his time of need. He had to move to a smaller place. Sell a lot of his tech.

He was so very angry.

“I WORKED HARD.”

“I DID THINGS THE PROPER WAY.”

“I DESERVE MORE THAN THOSE MOOCHERS!”

Even after his experience, he viewed himself as different than other people trapped in the safety net. He deserved more because he had a bootstrap attitude. It didn’t occur to him that a lot of people on welfare or disability probably worked hard too. That he was no more or less deserving than them. It was sad to see his experience didn’t instill any empathy.

He’s a lost cause. But maybe you aren’t. Maybe you should think about how long you could last before you’d have to mooch. Are you set for life? If you were in an accident and unable to work ever again, would you be able to live comfortably and manage your expenses? Think about that. And think about the fact that disability pays less than minimum wage. Could you live your life on $750 per month? What changes would you have to make to accomplish that? Use your imagination and really try to put yourself in those shoes.

$1200 is not a windfall for me. It is maybe 4 months of having slightly less financial anxiety. That anxiety is a part of my life. It is inescapable and I have conceded it will always be there. It is the dread of seeing $14 in my bank account towards the end of the month and hoping I didn’t forget about an automatic payment. It’s the fear of looking in my freezer and wondering if two bags of frozen chicken nuggets are enough to last until I get my next payment. 

But now I am getting $1200 and for a few months maybe I don’t have to feel some of that anxiety. I can reallocate that anxiety to the world being on fire and worrying about my dad getting sick.

But you want me to send it back?

What’s even sadder about your attitude is you are focusing on the wrong people. I’m not a moocher. I’m an insignificant financial speck in the grand scheme. I’m probably a percentage of a penny on your tax bill. But then you look at companies like Amazon who used loopholes to pay no taxes. They also got cities to subsidize offices and warehouses. So not only did they not pay taxes, we paid them for the honor of giving people low wage jobs with poor benefits and dubious working conditions. 

What about our F-35 fighter jet program? For years they didn’t even work properly and they still haven’t even been used for anything and they will probably rarely be utilized because of drones. But we will spend a trillion dollars on them anyway. 

What about oil subsidies? About $20 billion of our tax dollars goes to the fossil fuel industry every year. An industry that has never struggled to turn a profit. Just look at pictures of Dubai and ask yourself why we are giving them subsidies. 

We give corporations billions upon billions of dollars even though they are making record profits. And then we find out they were operating so close to the edge that they can’t even last a month without us giving them billions more. 

But my $750 per month makes me the moocher.

azula: