so it had come to this, so this was what lisanna’s visit was about. a part of porlyusica wished she could feel surprised, wished she would not feel like a puzzle piece was finally falling into place. but this was how she felt. this, and a rare sliver of — gladness, maybe even genuine happiness, that despite everything she had done to distance herself from the guild, she was still someone people looked to when they were searching for the truth about the guild. because lisanna was right — porlyusica had been around long enough to see three masters come and go, she had seen the guild change and she had quietly kept watching.
sometimes, she wondered if makarov even realised that she was still watching, that she had not averted her gaze the moment the guild mark had vanished from her body. and gods, she had not liked what she had seen. she had disagreed with makarov when he had first considered to open the doors of the guild for children, had told him a thousand times that it was a terrible idea, that their guild was not a place where children could grow up safely. their fight had been a terrible one, but she had not changed her mind. and later, much later, the injuries that had those who put the guild above all else brought to her doorstep had proved her right.
“ that faust did not wind up the king his parents wished him to be … doesn’t come as a surprise, ” she said carefully, leaning back in her chair. “ and i did hear … enough. mystogan used to tell me about these things. so … i know. i’d have liked to remember edolas as a happy, peaceful country, but i know it’s not. there’s no need to sugarcoat the truth for me when we both know i won’t do the same for you. ”
red eyes flickered over to the door that had led to the guest bedroom. she would — miss the boy, she supposed, but he was needed elsewhere, now, and she was not the selfish sort. and it would have been selfish to want to keep the boy away from his destiny. gods, she was sounding dramatic, even to herself.
“ my side of the story … hm, i was young, not much older than you are, when i first came to earthland, ” she started, the echo of a smile ghosting across her face. “ i met makarov and his team — rob, goldmine and bob — not long after and understanding that i knew little of this place, they brought me to magnolia. that was when master precht still led the guild, when there were rules and … consequences for those breaking them. precht was interested in lacrima studies, something that was much further advanced in edolas than it was in earthland, and … i was good at that. still am. knowledge was the currency i used to buy my life in magnolia. ”
she would skip, she decided, over her role as precht’s research assistant — it had nothing to do with the story. it had also nothing to do with why for a reason she could still not comprehend, precht had thought that makarov was a smart pick for the role of his successor. rob had thought that maybe, towards the end of his tenure, precht had simply no longer cared about the guild, but porlyusica found this hard to believe. precht had been a founding member, had been with the guild for such a long time.
clearing her throat and taking a sip of her tea, she sighed and continued, hoping that if she spilled the truth fast enough, it would not taste too much like bitterness and pain. “ i grew close to makarov and his team, eventually, ” she admitted as her fingernails dug harshly into her own palms, nearly drawing blood. “ i fell in love, we married. he was made guild master, master precht left us. we had a son, and things … started to go wrong. ”
under different circumstances, she would not have brought this up. the failing of her marriage was personal like few other things were, but the way it had failed had too much to do with the kind of guild master makarov had been and still was for her to show him the mercy of glossing over it, of making it sound like they had merely drifted apart, the way people sometimes did.
“ he spent so much time building his perfect found family that … he neglected… ” she trailed of, unsure which word was most suited to be the last one. us was a strong contender, but she had taken her frustrations and hidden in her research. me was an option, too, but she did not think that she had still cared enough at this point. perhaps the best word would be her son’s name, but ivan had become a man even lisanna would struggle to empathise with. perhaps it was best to leave the blank unfilled, to leave it to lisanna to fill it.
“ when master precht was around, one had to be of age to join. makarov abolished this and … i still don’t think it was the right decision, especially not when i see certain injuries. ”
lisanna couldn’t help the past from bubbling up. the image of mirajane, barely twelve years old with a demon screaming in her mind & leaving their marks on her skin. mirajane who used to knock down trees with the force of her episodes. she thinks of the villagers who came to their home, pitchforks && torches in hand screaming louder than the demon they were afraid of.
it’d been so hard, then. being orphaned was one thing, but mirajane scared everyone that looked upon her &&& with their fear came hate, came violence. it’d been everything they could do to survive & mira had been forced to protect them far too many times. back then, in the beginning, hopelessness swarmed upon them like locusts for there had been no end in sight.
there was no where to go, for a cursed child like mirajane. no way to settle down anywhere when the fear of the locals finding out the truth hang over every second. lisanna was young, but she’d been scared. mirajane tried, they all did, but no one had any plans.
coming across fairy tail was more than they’d ever dreamed of. a place where mirajane was embraced, rather than rejected. she’d still struggled, still buckled under the severity of her power, but it got better after fairy tail. when she had a name for what she could do, had people who weren’t afraid to help her.
it was the nature of their magic that had meant lisanna’s siblings were always more dangerous than she was, more out of control. while she had the souls of animals, mira && elfman held monsters in their bodies. fairy tail had helped them, grounded them when lisanna was fighting a war in another world &&& lisanna couldn’t regret that.
but she also remembered mirajane turning a mountain to rumble in her rage when she’d lost the s-class competition to erza, she remembered the new additions mira made to her pool of demons to catch up & the new nightmares it brought. lisanna remembered her sweet, doting older brother crushing her to death on a mission fairy tail sent them on.
it’s... complicated. nothing is ever without it’s flaws.
so lisanna nods, takes porlyusica’s words to heart. this woman had been made to heal the wounds of children, lisanna can understand how that would poison a perspective. “I... can’t imagine what that would have been like for you,” she says delicately, “I don’t want this visit to be about bringing up painful memories for you, so I hope you’ll stop me if I push too much. I just... is that why the others left? No one from your generation, except makarov, is still in the guild. did you all leave at the same time, or...?”