diary of a romantic

I no longer care for him, but I am so incredibly lonely.

I want a love that is all encompassing. I want someone to not understand how much they love me, to war with themselves these feelings they’ve never known before. I want to infect them and have them infect me. I want something fast and deep and scary. I want something.

I realized this is our first Christmas not together and I sobbed. I bawled like a child from the loss.

I did it. I was able to say no to you. Able to say no to comfort and familiarity because it’s what’s best for us both. We can never be just friends if I keep allowing myself to indulge in you.

I keep finding myself under you but dreaming of someone else. Anyone else.

I want to be loved. I want someone to look at my as if I was their sun, their moon, and their stars. You never did.

If we were normal, I could let you go with the breeze. But you’re here. In my life constantly. I wish you would release me from your grip.

You get to treat me however you want because I upset you