I see we're learning about the flaming hot cheeto earthquake proof sarcophagus again
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@knowthevoidisscreamingmad
I see we're learning about the flaming hot cheeto earthquake proof sarcophagus again

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Just Add Magic was lowkey a crazy kids series. The main character is a controlling bastard at times, three old ladies keep cursing each other and the whole town because they hate each other, these curses include cursing a famous pianist to only be able to play in her house, and cursing someone to be stuck in one town then the third old lady cursed herself to have dementia. There is a guy that was evil as fuck played by steven universe from the past who actually just accidentally got his little sister trapped in a magic book and spelled himself to own the op magic book forever so he could get her out. Then some bitches from the 90s roll up and all of them have beef too and possess a guy oh and did I mention that the lady who was cursed to stay in town forever broke her spell and the consequence was freezing time in that town and she didnt gaf but she's chill actually.
This passage of 7 against Thebes is SENDING me, I had to look it up in every translation available to me
Eteocles spends his whole dialogue being increadibly misogynistic, ranting about how terrible women are and how he wishes he never has to even share a home with one and then goes ✨Ladies and Gents and Everyone in between☺️😚✨ ALL OF YOU WILL BE FUCKING EXECUTED IF YOU PISS ME OFF
Can’t believe Eteocles is woke smh
I love media where the underlying message is to be kind , even if it isn’t the main plot.
I love media where the underlying message is that you are not the worst mistake you made and you are not the worst thing that happened to you
I love media where the underlying message is that people can change for the better
I love media that’s like love, actually is all around us
I love media that’s like “we can’t save anyone.” “we can always try.”
Love conversations where every single participant has certified Issues
One guys issue is not knowing vampires are real. I feel him
Love burying the lead "he's 33 I'm 22-" bitch he is 433 give or take
He doesn't know how to divide by 2.
@nightcrawler-fan @iceandbone
...why does this have better writing than most actual comedy series about fantasy characters?
.... is one of those guys Blade?

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that post about “you get bandits when you cut soldiers loose without pay” reminds me of the Thirty Years War, because one could say that beneath all the religious schisms and diplomatic jockeying, the heart of the thirty years war was “what happens when you have a state with just enough capacity to raise massive armies but without enough financial capacity to actually pay those armies” and the answer is that the line between professional armies and roving gangs of bandits disappears and every time you try to raise an army it just becomes another independently acting wildfire devouring the countryside. No matter how bad things get, every day I wake up and thank my lucky stars that I do not live in 17th century Europe. Or 17th century China. Or the 17th century Americas. Or basically anywhere in the 17th century.
One of my favorite little anecdotes about ancient mercenaries is that it was tradition for most of history to give your mercenaries two wages- "Bread" and "Gravy." Both were set at a daily value, but where "Bread" was intended to cover regular maintenance and life stuff and therefore paid out frequently (Here's your week's meal and gear repair budget!) the "Gravy" wage was paid out exclusively at the end of the contract as one lump sum. So like, your gravy wage and bread wage might be one silver coin per day each, so you're getting a handful of coins every week to cover food, and then at the end of an 800 day campaign, you get a wheelbarrow with 800 coins.
Employers liked offering this structure because then they didn't have to like, try to guess how long the invasion of spain will take and then carry 800 coins per soldier around the battlefield where it could be captured. It also gives them the chance to budget around the assumption that they take an enemy city and *find* vast sums of treasure even if they don't have the full value at the beginning of the war.
The main flaw of this system is that it's very easy to end up in a scenario where if you have, say, 50,000 guys that have been fighting for 800 days, you now owe 40 million silver to your army, and if the budget has not worked out to a 40 million surplus, you literally can't afford to end the war, but you can probably afford to pay them for a couple more weeks. So then you have to start thinking creatively.
Anyway across all time and history a lot of generals were ultimately beaten to death by men chanting gravy.
i'm in despair (this is about antinous)
WHAT?! Okay seriously I have had enough at this point with this bullshit and the misinformation out there just because some people twist away the Odyssey and become famous to the point of people not being able to tell reality from fanfiction and of people who just won't do research or read the most crappy "translations" in the world! So because I have had enough here's ALL the lines Antinous speaks in the Odyssey to clear this up once and for all!
(Be warned this will be long but please share this as much as you can guys! Forgive me in advance if some of my translations are a bit sloppy or not as accurate I am willing to redo some passages if you guys want in comments or reblogs in the future.)
Please spread this because honestly I have had enough and this EXACTLY why I cannot take anymore of these "retellings" and whatever the hell the names are and the changes they make for no reason to characters for "creative liberties" because honestly people cannot even read the sources properly and they just make claims taking advantage of popularity of media!
I made this meme almost a year ago and I hate that it’s even more applicable now 💀 I’m gonna be more buff than Odysseus himself if this keeps up.
I respect your commitment to go through the whole epic to translate every one of Antinous’ lines to debunk this bullshit. And yeah, EPIC is absolutely doing what Percy Jackson and Madeline Miller did. I am on my knees begging and pleading PLEASE stop treating Greek mythology as a fandom PLEASE fact-check your stuff before posting it PLEASE stop taking modern retellings as 100% accurate sources for ancient mythology. I’ll literally double-check to make sure my fucking Odyssey MEMES are accurate and here people are pulling takes and lies out of their asses to be posted like it’s indisputable fact. But somehow WE’RE the pretentious ones who “won’t let people have fun”.
Yeah, maybe if you weren’t messing with a whole country’s history and culture then we’d be more lenient.
So at a party it is socially acceptable to just silently join a circle of people talking and contribute to the conversation when you feel like it as if you already know everyone in the circle, btw.
If you want to know people’s names at some point saying “Sorry, did I catch your name?” or “Sorry, what was your name again?” like you’ve briefly been introduced before is a good move.
Conversation openers for starting a conversation with a random person next to you:
What’s the punch taste like?
What are you drinking?
How do you know the host?
Hey, nice shoes!
Did you bring this drink/food/decoration/etc.?
Hey, what’s your costume?
Are you from (place where a lot of people at the party work or are from)?
Hi! Did you come with (mutual friend)?
Fr? On god? Just like that?
Yeah, just act like you’ve been there the whole time.
I have social anxiety and discovered this by trial and error despite my fears. I took on this burden for all of you so you don’t have to. Trust me. Just stand in the gap in the circle. It’s waiting for you. It’s an event where people are expecting to meet other people. It’s not creepy or weird. They’re there to talk to strangers and friends alike. Just step into the circle.
In the club
I think I’m literally never gonna be sick of this masterpiece. I think watching it on a loop for eight hours could fix me. Dancing’s what clears my soul. Dancing’s what makes me whole.
I just love that this very video is an accumulation of thousands of years worth of art made by people who have never met each other. The concept of this video was so completely unfathomable to every single artist who made the sculptures and yet they’ve all put something toward the creation of it.
ITS BACK ON MY TIMELINE
if you are mark antony and most likely grew up hearing about your illustrious grandfather who subdued the pirates in cilicia and had several success in the east to the extent that he was allowed to celebrate a triumph - and then when you are in your early 20s, pompey comes back from the east and celebrates his triumph complete with pirates and ships ... lets consider this one point in my mark antony is weird about pompey column

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Changing the relationship status to "Stalemate"
Changing the relationship status to "Uneasy truce"
Changing the relationship status to "Mutually assured destruction"
Something else in discussion of historical (British/European) women online that bugs me is "When she marries, she loses all her rights!" Which is true but implies some huge loss of freedoms when it's not like things were much better beforehand.
If we look at Mary Crawford in Mansfield Park for example, as a single woman she has to live with family to be seen as respectable even though she has enough money to live on her own. When her uncle brings his mistress into the house, she must leave. Mary begs her brother to live at his estate with her; when refused she must go live with a half-sister she hasn't seen in years. She might be a person onto herself before the law at this point, but she has very limited freedom in practice. She is obligated to stay under the protection of family. Her brother is required to transport her between locations, something Austen's own brothers did for her during her entire life. In the same novel, we see Fanny Price basically stuck in Portsmouth because her family can't be bothered to pick her up and she can barely go outside because as a single woman she doesn't have an escort. Henry shows up and Fanny immediately goes with him to do some errands she hasn't had someone to accompany her for.
Again, in the same novel, Maria Bertram longs for the freedom of being married because her father is so strict and their life at home is so restrictive. Past marriage, the most mobile and self-determining women in Austen's novels are rich widows. Young unmarried ladies aren't doing a lot on their own.
And as for money, it's not like women had money in their hands before marriage. If they had an inherited fortune, it was almost always held in trust by male guardians. If their parents were alive, it wasn't like their dowry was in their control, it was money their parents had or would find when they married and would be integrated into the new family's finances. And as for the Dashwood girls, who have small inheritances which would be paid to them, it's implied they would pay a portion to their mother for their upkeep. If they inherited a large fortune, their family might well be after it (see Eliza Brandon) and they are plagued by fortune hunters and still, as they must, living with guardians/family (see Sophia Grey). Gentleman Jack also did a great job portraying the life of a harassed heiress with Anne Walker.
Marriage might have legally erased women, but their daily lived experience was probably better on average. It gave them more freedom of movement, more control in their household, and some money of their own (pin money/jointure). And they might achieve the ultimate pinnacle of women's freedom: wealthy widow. There is also enormous social pressure to marry because spinsters are looked down on. Mary Crawford, despite having comfortable wealth, very much wants the social clout of marrying.
And yes, the amount of freedom depended on what kind of man a woman married, but at least that choice is partially in a woman's control (ideally.) The man who has been controlling her since birth wasn't even her pick!
(Jane Eyre is one of the few relatively free, independent unmarried women you see in older literature, but it's because she's an orphan who suddenly inherited a fortune and she's also lower gentry/working for her bread. This is not a position most gentry women want to be in)
so like. when are we getting that wild west ect TV show where right at the end of the first season. right at the end. last ten minutes right at the end. the main character wanders over from America to England to go propose to this really nice girl we've been hearing about all season. and she opens the door and we finally learn the main character's last name.
and The Public still don't even realise that Quincey Morris just wandered his way into the plot of Dracula because no one ever includes him in the adaptations and no one's actually read the book
when are we getting that.
What gets me about the old woman who begs Johnathan not to go to Castle Dracula is that Drac is the one who made the reservations for Johnathan to stay at that inn. He contacted her husband. He knows of this couple and where they live. If Johnathan failed to show up, they would be the first people questioned. They live in fear of the count and both they and the rest of the area probably have for centuries and yet this little old woman is putting herself potentially in Dracula’s sights just for the slight chance of saving this poor boy. If Drac knew she warned him and made him turn away there’s no way he’d let that slide and there’s no way she doesn’t know this! It’s probably why they take orders from him in the first place. yes, he pays them, but come on, they can’t even say his name without crossing themselves, fear is doing far more work than money here and if they are doing it for the money because they are that desperate, that’s still a great deal of control Dracula has over them. The whole area has probably been taught to fear Dracula for generations, this woman has spent her whole long life in the shadow of a monster, living every day knowing that it knows where she lives and could come kill her whenever it pleased, and yet she defies that fear to save this poor young man she hardly even knows.
And Johnathan is, of course, completely ignorant to just how much courage that must have taken, how much she’s risking just by warning him. He thinks it’s a nice enough gesture and all and he tries to be kind about it and accepts the crucifix despite it going against his own beliefs, which is very kind of him, but his ignorance to just *how* desperate she is gets to me for some reason.
Tried to reblog this post:
but Tumblr refused to let me for some reason.
Anyway, I’ll just show you what I tried to write here:
Also, this is not a hypothetical.
This is a real scenario that is happening now
Which is why people whose brains literally cannot let them lie need a way to hack the meat computer to keep people alive

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irritating as fuck when people get mad at Black people existing in premodern historical fiction/fantasy media. like first of all, you're racist. and second of all, you are acting as though Black people didn't exist in premodern Europe which is simply false. especially when we're talking about the Mediterranean, like what the fuck do you people think is along the southern half of the Mediterranean Ocean?? everyone's on boats, there are GOING to be interactions with Black people in Northern Africa, and there are GOING to be Black people in Mediterranean Europe. stop being stupid. your imagined homogeneous white European past is not historical reality, get over it you massive losers
I feel like I've gone kind of noseblind to 'Alex Horne is so posh he accidentally wrote a BDSM relationship with a near-stranger into the fabric of his comedy show for several years before noticing that this might conflict with selling it as family friendly television'. I barely even stop any more to consider how funny that is. But it is still so fucking funny.