do yall have those successful friends that always say shit like “my hair is messier than my life!!” like christina we all know damn well both your hair and life are perfect quit lying. i think its time for people to stop appropriating Messy Bitch culture and leave the self deprecating humor to those of us that are actually A Mess

Some young child: *screaming outside* Me with no context: Girl me too

My kink is when you’re eating a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and your spoon hits a massive boulder of cookie dough that you then pry out like an archaeologist on the dig of a lifetime

I hate it when I see an unflattering pic of me and my friends are all like what no you look fine!!! you look normal! it’s like……damn……so I’m that ugly all the time 

if we are talking in person and i accidentally spit dont even call out i saw it and im dead inside