PHOEBE

The look she give you when you tell her you’re taking her out for dinner and you pull into the Arby’s parking lot.

im so tired of “kids these days” discourse like if ur generation had iphones u would have fuckin loved it too, don’t pretend. i see thru ur bullshit martha

Did chocolate chips just manifest there out of thin air

no hes spitting them in there

i am so tired of peeing. i drink the water, which i apparently need to live or something, then i have to go put the water somewhere else five minutes later. i drink the water, i go to a place to un-drink the water, i wash my hands, i leave, then i have to drink more water. guess where that water ends up? not in me! i give the water to my body and like a child it tosses it out and demands more. all hours of the day all hours of the night no matter what i am doing my life is interrupted by piss and this is bullshit

This sounds like it was written by a powerful being that is trapped in a human vessel and keeps having their plans thwarted by bathroom breaks. 

You know too much.

I’ve been staring at this for 5 minutes

That’s what it looks like. That’s really what it looks like

Being out in the ocean is actually so scary because when you look really far out you can kind of see how the Earth is rounded out. It looks like a few miles ahead you’re just gonna fall off or something. Also fun trick: if ur on mobile, double tap zoom in and slide the picture side to side. It looks like you’re actually there looking left to right

DO THAT DO IT RIGHT NOW

it is currently ｒｅａｌ ｋｉｗｉ ｈｏｕｒｓ

animals that evolved with no natural predators are amazing

This is feminism

Why did he put on like three different hats