Depressionen

They say that love is blind because it's deeper than we all can see. We are no longer the people that we were born to be, loving. Not a hateful word was spoken. When I grew up I knew peace to be the moonlight and the ocean. But today peace is different, it seems a piece is missing. Can no longer get some peace unless you choose to pay commision, unless you choose to pay a price, unless you gamble with your life. Tired of living in the dark some rather die to see the light. Cos the words you choose to use is just as equal as a knife. And they could stab you in the back if you don't choose to use em right. Or even haunt in your dreams until you losing sleep at night. Or god forbid have repercussions on another persons life. My Mama raised me to be strong, but even I have lost a fight. I was surronded be fake people with no traces of a friend. A couple times I just tought fuck it, I don't care if my life would end. Poured some liquor in my cup just so I wouldn't overthink. Every time I had a problem I would always seem to drink. Everybody told me chill, they could see I was on the brink, see I was floating far away and my titanic bouta sink. And I was praying to my god, please don't let me lose my mind. I have suffered well enough, can you just let it be my time. It's like god came down and shook me, told me you just in your prime. Even an a rainy day don't ever let em take your shine. Cos then the doors started opening, everybody closing in, asking who I'm working with, people started noticing. Asked me what I'm doing, told me Not to waste my gift. See I could kick in all my goals or I could be the one that missed. Blessed to wake up everyday Cos some don't get a chance to live. Even if I end my pain I'd give a Lifetime to my sis. Mama wanna see me make it, can't give up on her like this. My brothers need someone to teach them what a soldier really is. I had to pull myself together, find myself again. I had to learn you're not alone, even if you got no friends, even if I'm out of home and life has turned on me again. At no Point is that a reason I should want my life to end. Imma tell you word for word exactly what I said to them. There ain't no chance to start again. You got a chance to make it right, you don't have to lose your life. Talk to god about your troubles, bet he answers by the night.

Im Leben kann einer der härtesten Rückschläge sein,das wenn man mit jemanden mit dem man sehr viel Zeit verbracht hat und von dem man geglaubt hat das er einem was bedeutet, dass wenn irgendwann der Moment kommt wo es drauf ankommt und wo man sagt “ hey, hier bin ich. Jetzt geht’s mir nicht so gut…” und dann ist er nicht mehr da und man hat immer geglaubt das man vielleicht für den anderen was besonders ist.. und irgendwann merkt man ok. Vielleicht war das nur die Hoffnung und vielleicht war das nur der Wunsch das man dem anderen so viel bedeutet und dann merkt man dass das nicht so ist und dann tut das vielleicht sehr sehr weh. Wie soll ein Mensch das ertragen?

Dreistigkeit siegt!